


Maybe love wasn’t enough

by hoeformodric



Category: Luka/Sergio, real madrid
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-08-30 02:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 47,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16756030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoeformodric/pseuds/hoeformodric
Summary: Basically this was supposed to be just a one chapter smut, but it became so much more...





	1. CHAPTER ONE

The whole training was boring, draining them inside and out. The pitch was wet from all of the heavy rain that was pouring the day before. No one was in the mood to train. Luka’s thoughts were somewhere else, off the pitch and distant. Tomorrow was Champions League finals. The very finals they were all training for, the whole year. All the games they played before were leading up to this one and not one out of them was excited. Maybe that seemed selfish or rude or even disrespectful, but the heavy rain mixed with just a thought of losing made it harder. Why would they lose, and they already won it 2 times in a row, but this was it, the time for their generation to become a legacy. Luka entered the dressing room, it was still quite empty and quiet. No one wanted to comment on the situation. Why are each and every one of them scared?

Sergio entered the dressing room last. He saw all of the sad faces, all of the sunken souls and he understood them. He was afraid, afraid of losing, of disappointing the team, Zidane and the fans. He got a small stool from the backroom where his sweaty shirt was left on a big table. He stepped on it after he put it on the hard floor in the middle of the room.

“Can everyone listen to me? I have something really important to tell you.”

Every head turned around. His loud and sharp voice even made the people from the bathroom to come out and sit down and listen. Even Cristiano sat down and shut up, while Luka cuddled his small fragile hands around his waist. Sergio stared at them cuddled up together like that for a few seconds but snapped out quickly.

“I know this is scary. Maybe some people would say we are overreacting but will make history if we do it tomorrow. But guys, we can’t be scared. We can do it, we have some of the best players in the world, so please let’s not fear this, because whatever happens we should still be proud because we are like a real family and our team is more than just a team so now, go out have fun make your life good, because your life already is amazing. We can do anything, we just can’t fear it.”

After he stopped talking there was a short silence in the dressing room. But a moment after, Marcelo started clapping and everyone joined in. They all jumped to hug Sergio and show him all the respect.

 

Luka jumped in the shower as soon as he arrived in his room. He shared a room with Gareth. Gareth and Luka were together for almost 5 years now. Luka loved Gareth. He really did, but in the past year Gareth was just absent in their relationship. He finally became ‘a big name’ in Real and he was focused on hard and long training. Luka felt left out, and he started craving attention. He spent some long nights with Cristiano while Gareth was somewhere training. Maybe that’s how Luka realized he had some feelings for Cris too. The long nights always ended in broken bed and Luka’s bruised body. Did he mind? Hah, he enjoyed every second of it. But the problem wouldn’t be so big if it stopped here. But Luka was looking at Sergio more and more each day the finals were getting closer.

As Luka entered the shower, his thoughts went to the three men in his life. How was he supposed to just stop thinking about Cristiano, and now Sergio too? He loved Gareth with all of his heart and all of the thoughts about the other two disappeared as soon as he felt sudden, but soft grab around his waist. He turned around seeing Gareth, naked standing in the big shower with him. Luka fell in Gareth’s hug. They didn’t do anything like this for so long.

“Are you scared? For tomorrow?” Gareth was holding Luka in his arms. He was so light and soft. “Maybe. I can’t even explain what I’m felling right now.” Luka almost started crying, but instead he dug his head harder in Gareth’s chest. Gareth lifted Luka’s head slowly and started kissing him all over his neck and chest. Luka was getting hard, but he tried not to. He knew Gareth was not about to have shower sex, because that was Gareth.

They exited the shower pretty soon. Gareth kissed Luka on the forehead once again and then just threw some clothes on him and left. Luka missed Gareth so much, and at this point he missed their sex too. He was horny, but Gareth left, and Luka was not having it. He called up Cris for a dinner. He knew he would want to go because lately Cris jumped on every opportunity Luka gave him. Cristiano already asked Luka out earlier in the day, but Luka wasn’t sure if he will be able to run away from Gareth. It turned out Gareth ran away from him, so he didn’t even feel guilty.

Luka pulled up his pants and put his white Adidas socks on. In a quick moment he was all dressed up and ready to go. Luka stood in the hotel lobby thinking about the part after dinner, his award if he will behave. Luka loved how Cristiano was possessive but didn’t want to confess. His train of thoughts was stopped by Sergio yelling his name, across the lobby, next to the elevators. Luka always found something so mysterious and sexy about Sergio. He was so big and tall. Smaller than Cristiano, but he felt bigger and stronger. He approached the elevators quickly not wanting to lose the chance to talk to Sergio, even though he knew it will probably be just about the game or trainings.

“So, I was wondering would you come to my room quickly. I need to show you something for the game tomorrow. I know it’s late, and you probably have plans, but this is really important.”  
Luka knew he wasn’t supposed to go, because Cris was just about to come down and take him to an expensive restaurant and later give him the night he wouldn’t forget. Maybe it was selfish and mean, but it was stronger than him. Sergio took Luka by the hand, which made him shiver and get goosebumps all over his body. He didn’t want his mind to go to that place, but it did. Maybe because of Sergio’s strong grip and warm hands. Sergio opened the doors and let Luka in first.  
“So, what did you want to show..”  
Luka was cut off, quickly and sharply by Sergio’s hot and wet lips. Luka feared this might happen, but he didn’t mind it one bit. But as Sergio’s tongue was getting deeper in Luka’s throat, he started feeling some guilt in his gut. Maybe because Cristiano was probably just waiting for him in the lobby, or maybe because he was telling himself he is not gay and he can only be gay for Cris. He felt how his jacket was falling off him and Sergio’s warm hands unbuttoning his shirt. How was he supposed to react? It bothered him that he really didn’t mind this, he enjoyed every bit of it. Sergio unbuttoned the shirt and tossed it on the other side of the room. He pinned Luka to the wall where he turned him around, so his face was facing the wall. Luka knew what was about to happen and he couldn’t wait. Sergio started kissing his back muscles and his shoulders. He stripped down Luka’s pants, which stayed low at his ankles. As soon as Sergio started unbuttoning his pants and letting his belt fall on the ground Luka started getting hard. That was all it took, yeah, Luka was really like a boy just entering puberty. Sergio’s pants were gone. He gripped tightly on Luka’s inner thighs making him spread his legs. Luka already started moaning softly. Sergio pushed him harder against the wall making him moan louder.  
“I am making you hard and I didn’t even do anything yet. Well that is actually not surprising.”  
Sergio started chuckling which followed with him trailing Luka’s back with his fingers. Luka started gripping Sergio’s hands.  
“No, no keep them up.”  
He took Luka’s hands and placed them up above his head. As soon as Sergio just pulled of his boxers and placed his hands-on Luka’s hips, Luka’s hand was already down trying to take Sergio’s hands.  
“We are not going to play like that bunny.”  
Luka smiled through struggle, because that was one of the sweetest nicknames he ever got. Sergio’s cock got hard pretty quickly. Maybe because Luka’s small naked body was one of the best things he ever saw or maybe it was Luka’s struggle to keep his hands up. Luka did open himself up for Sergio, he did as soon as Sergio stripped him down. As soon as Sergio entered, Luka started moaning so loud and his hands went straight into the wall. His knuckles started bleeding pretty bad, but he really didn’t care as he felt Sergio deeper and deeper in him.  
“Sergio I will do it, I’ll come, Sergio, please let me do it please.”  
Luka’s cock was getting hard against the wall. The wall was already dirty from Luka’s bloody knuckles, but it was in no one’s will to get Luka’s fluid all over the wall. Sergio pulled out probably seconds before hitting Luka’s spot. Luka was so close to coming and this made him fall to the ground. Sergio pushed him to the bed. He places his hands on the bed frame and pulled some masking tape from under the bed. Luka’s hands were secure and away, so Sergio could do his business.  
“Please Sergio I just need to do it, please.”  
But Sergio was not about to let it happen yet. He saw Luka’s cock hard and up waiting. He started touching it at first gently but started being harsher and faster. Luka’s moans were now just straight up yelling. He just wanted to come, he started arching his back and his hips. Sergio, still doing the business with one hand, pushed Luka’s weak hips down with his other hand. Finally, he made Luka come and Luka couldn’t be more relieved. He lied there, on the white sheets, feeling helpless. Sergio put his head on Luka’s abs which were covered in his fluid and started laughing. “You are an actual 5year old.”  
Luka started smiling through his weakness.

The moment was ruined by ringing, loud ringing coming from Luka’s jacket under the bed. How did it get there? No one will ever know. Luka tried to get up from the bed and get the phone, but it stopped ringing. He was about to lie down and fall asleep when the piercing ringing started again. Luka found the phone and picked it up. “Where the hell are you? I am waiting 10 minutes here, our reservation will expire, come down here.” Luka realized he was supposed to be doing this with Cris and not Sergio. He panicked, started running around the room and picking up his clothes. “Stop, Luka, can I at least clean you up?” Luka still panicked just nodded. While he was trying to find his left shoe, Sergio came from the bathroom with a soaked warm towel in one hand and Luka’s shoe in other. Luka started putting his pants on, but Sergio stopped him and lied him down on the bed. Luka tried to break free and rush out, but he couldn’t do anything to Sergio’s strong grip. Sergio took the towel and wiped all of the sticky fluid from Luka’s abs and stomach area. He climbed on top of Luka for the last time before he left and kissed him long and hard. Luka finally rushed down to the lobby and saw Cris nervously waiting. “I’m so so sorry, I got stuck in the shower and I almost fell asleep..” He was cut off. Cristiano’ tongue slipped through Luka’s parted lips and started dominating. Luka had a different tongue in his mouth 5 minutes ago and this made him horny again. He took Ronaldo’s hands and put them on his hips, but Cris pulled out. “We’ll do that later, we have a dinner to eat first.”

 

Luka’s actions weren’t fine and correct, but he just couldn’t go against himself. It was something bigger than him. He desired and craved attention, particularly male attention, rough male touch. He loved Gareth’s soft touches on his skin, but Luka being Luka craved for some harder grips and bruised skin.

They arrived at the restaurant after a quick taxi drive. It was a big, expensive restaurant in Kiev and Cris made a reservation for them to get a small excluded part. Luka was getting excited, he loved being out in public, exposed and “naked” to the whole world, but again hidden away. Those were the little things he appreciated when it came to Cristiano. He seemed like an egoist and a total ass, but those little things he did for Luka when he needed it the most made him fall in love. Maybe those words are a lot, really a lot when you think about it, but Luka really meant it, but the whole problem was he already felt those things with Gareth. His train of thoughts was stopped by Cristiano’s question. “What do you want to drink? Should we get just water or some wine? I mean, nothing will happen if we drink just one glass of it..”. Luka smiled at Cris. He was such a wine enthusiast, so Luka just nodded and showed him which wine he would like. Their personal waiter came to the excluded part of the restaurant and took their drink orders and then gave them time to think about what they will eat. Luka couldn’t think about food, he felt huge guilt all over him. He already slept with Cris behind Gareth’s back, and now this?! With Sergio?! Luka was always interested in him, but he never thought Sergio would notice him in such way, he didn’t know something like this would happen. After they ordered some food, Cris bent to Luka’s side of the table and kissed him. “I missed you.” It just slipped out out of Luka’s mouth without thinking. Cristiano kissed Luka again, and again, and again. Luka felt Cris’s warm hands on his wrists, he felt his lips on his and tongue in his mouth. He felt him all over him and he didn’t mind him one bit. Few moments later the waiter came with food which forced them to stop, which frustrated both of them. Luka knew he wouldn’t be able to even start his meal, so he just put it on a table next to them. Cris took a few bites from the meat. He chewed slowly, staring at Luka who was somewhere else in his thoughts. Cris stopped eating shortly after the first few bites, he put his plate to the side table too. He stood up quickly and took Luka by the hands. He waved the waiter to come pick the food and asked: “Are all of these glass walls tinted from the outside?” “Yes sir, no one from the normal part of the restaurant is able to see you.” Cristiano grinned at Luka. Luka was watching the waiter taking their food and heard Cris yell after him: “Don’t come here, for about an hour, we’ll come and pay alone, thank you. Now go!” As soon as he left Cristiano took Luka by the hips and turned him around on the table making him bend. Luka didn’t really have a word here, but he adored it that way. Cristiano took his pants down, same as Luka’s, which were now just peacefully resting on his knees. Cristiano realized Luka was already getting hard. He didn’t take it by a surprise. Luka was hard after a dirty whisper or a little more intimate touch. Cristiano entered quickly and sharply which made Luka moan. Cris gripped Luka’s long hair with his free hand and the deeper he went the stronger he pulled the hair. Luka “hated” when people touched his hair, but if it was in a sexual way, it made him feel things he will never be able to understand. The grip was strong and Luka felt so small under Cristiano’s strong body, bent over the hard table. Cris almost hit the spot which made Luka’s hands go wild and he punched the table. His already wounded knuckles started bleeding again. It made Cris even hornier than before. While still being in Luka, Cris took a piece of rope from the pocket of his suit. He took Luka’s hands and tied them on his back. Luka felt helpless and he just gave all of himself to Cris. Luka was so far gone that he didn’t even feel Cris finishing and pulling out. He was just lying there in his own sub-space. Cris pulled out quickly releasing Luka’s hair and realizing Luka’s gone. “Luka, baby, come back I’m done.”. After not getting an answer back he quickly buttoned up his pants and turned Luka around. He untied his hands and pulled his pants up, but Luka was not waking up. He slapped him. Not too hard, but not soft. He had to wake him up. Luka quickly came back. “Did I go too far again? I’m so sorry baby, I am just too violent for your fragile little body.”. Luka saw Cris felt bad, but Luka enjoyed every second of it.. well every second he was still awake. “Hey, hey, no, God no, I loved it.”, those words made Cris smiled from ear to ear. He hugged Luka and lifted him up. Luka, being really weak after all of this, was supported by Ronaldo’s hand while coming out of the restaurant. They came to the hotel late, it was about 2:00 am. Cris escorted Luka to his room. As soon as Luka entered the room he heard a loud voice coming from the bed. “Where were you? It’s 2 in the morning, we are playing the finals tomorrow. Luka what is wrong with you?” Luka ignored all of the words coming out of Garteh’s mouth. He was too tired to think about everything he did that day. He fell on the bed and just fell asleep.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> flirt flirt ;)

The morning came fast. Too fast. Luka opened his eyes slowly to the sharp sound of the alarm ringing. Gareth opened all of the curtains which made Luka shove his face back in the pillow. “It’s 8, we need to be at the breakfast in 20 minutes.” Luka wasn’t listening to Gareth’s loud words. Gareth was trying to wake him up, but after 10 minutes of being unsuccessful, he just left and left Luka with his head still buried in his pillow. His whole body felt broken. He was really concerned how will he be able to play today, but at this point he couldn’t do anything.

He left the bed and dressed up as quickly as possible. He took his phone just to look at the notifications for a second. His phone was blowing up from messages from Sergio and Cris. “Where are you bunny?” “Maybe we can repeat the thing we did yesterday again if you play well today.” Luka smiled at Sergio’s messages. He really liked being called bunny, he really thought it suited him. “Where the hell are you?” “Luka are okay? I was too rough, I am so fucking sorry.” Luka decided to call Cris while he was waiting for the elevator. He saw how concerned he was. “Hey Cris.” “O my fucking God, where the hell are you, it’s already past 8:30, when Gareth came down without you I got so concerned.” Cris was unable to stop talking. Hearing Luka’s voice made his stomach stop feeling uneasy. “I’m fine. My body hurts, that table was uncomfortable as fuck.” Cris started laughing and at that point Luka was already in front of the dining room.

He entered the room and sat next to Cris. While they were laughing, talking and constantly flirting with each other, Luka was side-eyeing Sergio who was smirking at them. Gareth was few tables away with Marco, but the only thing he saw in the whole room was Luka getting too close to Cris. He stood up almost knocking down the chair and the table and put the remains of his breakfast on the tray where all other plates were. He came closer to Luka and Cris. As soon as Luka saw Gareth getting closer he warned Cris not to get involved in a fight. “So can you tell me what kind of bullshit is this?” Gareth was pissed and was unable to look at Cris. “Gareth stop, listen to me, we have a too important game to do things like this right now, okay?” Luka was trying to calm him down as much as possible because he didn’t want any incidents involving him or anyone on the day of the UCL Finals.

Gareth was still not calm, he took Luka by the hand and pulled him to the side away from all the tables and other guys. “Luka, what is happening? You come back to our room in the middle of the night, you come to breakfast too late and when you show up you sit next to HIM!” Gareth pointed sharply at Cris who was listening to the whole conversation, but was trying to look not too obvious. “Now you maybe know how I felt every time you were coming home late because of trainings, you never were gentle to me. I just wanted you to touch me and do something after a long day, but you did, well, nothing. So please stop making yourself a victim here. I love you Gareth, but after all of the nights I spent alone, I started wondering why am I even waiting anymore. I get the fact that you want to be on top of your game, and that you put football in front of everything, but if it is that way, you just have to understand I need someone who will put me at the first place.”

Luka crashed into tears after he finished the sentence and he left the dining room. Cris ran after him and took him in his arms and led him to his room. “Listen to me. Get some rest here, and I’ll call you when the training will start. Is that okay?” Luka nodded and as Cris was about to leave the room Luka whimpered after him: “Please don’t leave. I just need someone, now.” Cris looked at Luka’s red and puffy face, tears still rolling down his cheeks. He moved Luka a bit and lied next to him. He started playing with his hair, putting it behind his ear and then wiping the tears from his cheeks with his fingers. Luka started smiling, Cris being so close to him made him feel warm and loved. Cris kissed Luka on the forehead and then he stood up and told him had got to go. Luka frowned, said goodbye and fell asleep.

Hours later, someone woke him up, he didn’t remember who it was, he just knew they rushed him to pack and then left. The events that happened that day and the day after still felt like a dream to Luka, like he never woke up from that nap in the hotel, like he was dreaming carelessly and making it all up. But no, they actually won their third UCL in a row. Holding the trophy in his hands, it felt just unbelievable. While celebrating he was held by everyone, he got a bit too handsy with Cris and Sergio. He tried to avoid Gareth as much as possible, but as much as he was trying, seeing Gareth’s sunny face made him just jump on him. They hugged for a long time and celebrated together. Luka’s head was getting even more loaded up with thoughts about them. The three men in his life. He is supposed to just choose Gareth and tell the other two that it was just a stupid mistake. But what if Gareth is a mistake…

After he heard that thought in his head, he wanted it out, because Luka really loved him. After three full days of celebrating and having fun, living his best moments with his team, with his second family, Luka and Gareth finally arrived to Gareth’s big house. Luka actually just came to take some of the stuff he left there a couple of weeks back, but after a few moments it was clear he will stay the night. While packing and taking his stuff from Gareth’s bedroom, he felt warm breath on his neck. The short, breathy kisses followed and soon they turned into full, beautiful kisses. Luka didn’t want to do this now, he was trying to forget how amazing Bale can be, as a person and in bed. He felt those kisses getting deeper and longer and as much as he “wanted him to stop”, he enjoyed every bit of it. Moments after his pants were gone, clearly Gareth didn’t want Luka to go, so he picked him up, and Luka tangled his legs around Gareth’s strong body. They soon landed on the bed, the soft, cozy bed Luka spent many nights in, many of them alone… Gareth unzipped Luka’s shirt and started kissing his chest, slowly and so soft that Luka almost couldn’t feel it. Luka’s whole body shivered and Bale got on top of him, throwing his shirt across the room. Luka really did enjoy Gareth, he really did and as much as he wanted this his mind and heart stopped him, because it belonged to someone else. Luka pushed Gareth and sat up, fast and sharp. He quickly got the rest of his stuff and just mumbled something on the way out. Gareth was left, alone, in his huge room, with no one to share his bed with…

Luka’s apartment was big, too big for him. He liked small cozy houses, but when he was settling in Madrid he didn’t really think about it. He entered his apartment drained from all of the events that happened. He didn’t know what will be the outcome of him leaving Gareth just like that. Did he lose him for good now? He didn’t know, but he just couldn’t be alone. He knew he was the one that made mistakes in the relationship, he knew he cheated with two different men, he knew he fucked up, but he didn’t do it for nothing. Gareth did abandon him and made his job above him. Luka was a jealous person and he couldn’t stop thinking of Gareth having someone else when he was “training late”. So he found himself someone else, which was a bad move, but now it was already done. He found his phone somewhere in the back of his pocket and pressed the call button. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do this, but he did. It rang a few times and then someone picked up. “Hey baby.” Luka already melted, he was lonely and he knew this was the only person that can make it better. “Can you come over, like right now, me and Gareth, I think we broke up.” The person on the other side of the sighed, Luka didn’t know if it was a sigh of relief or something else, but he knew he will come. “I’ll come.” Luka caught himself just smiling, he knew this person will brighten up the bad day.

Maybe 10 minutes later, his phone started ringing again. It was Sergio. He was probably calling just to hear how Luka was. Sergio had that special thing to call every team member after a huge game to see if they are doing fine. “Hey Luka, did you come home?” “Yeah, yeah I did…” Sergio heard something was up. Luka’s, usual happy, relaxed voice wasn’t there. “Are you okay? You sound crushed, did something happen?” “No, no everything is fine, don’t worry..” In that second Luka heard his doorbell ring and he quickly finished the talk with Sergio, which made him even more suspicious that something is up. Luka opened the doors as quick as possible and when he saw Cristiano’s face at the door he couldn’t contain himself and he ran into his arms. Luka was broken, and Cristiano felt that, he felt every tear that escaped Luka’s eyes when he fell into Cris’s arms. “No, baby, stop crying. What happened?” Luka didn’t want to start, but he knew this was the perfect time for this, to tell Cris that he loves him, that he actually loves him and he just want to be with him. He poured it all out, all of his heaviest thoughts and problems, he said it all to Cris through thick tears. Cris was listening, patiently to every word, every sigh, every painful groan that Luka left out. He held him through it, his small fragile body, trembling in his arms.

“I am so sorry, if I ever hurt you by just calling you to fuck, it was just me trying to think about something else, aside from Gareth, and Gareth was just running away from me and now that I ran away from him I feel bad and like I hurt him, but I love you.” That made Cris tear up. He wasn’t an emotional person usually, he never cried, especially not in front of Luka. He was supposed to be his shelter and he was, but he finally heard those words he always wanted to hear and always wanted to say but couldn’t. He hugged Luka, hard, picked him up and finally brought him to the couch. Luka tangled his legs around Cris’s body and put his head on his chest. As Cris put him down and sat next to him, he said the words he was burning up to say for the last few months: “I fucking love you Luka Modrić.” He climbed on top of Luka, still in his jacket which made Luka smile, because he wasn’t used to seeing him with so many clothes on. Cris threw his jacket and unzipped his shirt, he started kissing Luka’s neck and chest, he came closer to his ear and started whispering: “Now I can finally stop feeling guilty for all of the things I’ve done to you in this apartment.” He started nibbling on Luka’s ear softly and then attacked his lips. Their tongues met and Luka felt fireworks. Cristiano held Luka on the couch with his hands, he didn’t want to let go of his arms, because he knew Luka would tremble or just shiver too much. Luka on the other hand was in heaven, the sweetness of Cris’s lips reminded him of all of their nights together, all of their sweet talks in between matches, quick touches during the training, even the amazing time they had in the locker room once.

As Cristiano started kissing and biting Luka’s pale chest, Luka started to moan. He really loved the small bites, but he loved the bruises that stayed after even more. He felt owned, and not in a bad way, he felt like he belonged to someone. Cristiano was getting closer and closer to Luka’s, already hard cock, but he loved teasing him, so when he already kissed his whole chest. And stomach, and when it looked he will get “to the business”, he stopped and went to the kitchen. “No, come back here, you can’t just leave me here like this.” Cris started laughing from the kitchen, he returned with a peace of masking tape. “Arms up!” Luka loved being tied, it was his favourite thing to do, and as soon as Cris taped his hands together, he got even more hard. Cris pulled of his pants and Luka started moaning, loudly. While that was happening, Sergio arrived in front of Luka’s house with a box of chocolates to brighten him up, because he knew something was up after that phone call. He saw Cris’s car in front of his house and he instantly knew what was happening inside. He approached the doors and when he was about to ring the doorbell he heard a loud moan coming from the inside of the house. It was Luka’s voice, funny accent, screaming Cris’s name. Sergio turned around, furious, even though why is he furious, he had a one night stand with Luka, what was happening. He wasn’t sure but it bothered him. He threw the box away and just went home with that moan still echoing in his head.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically i love making everything sad and complicated

Gareth and Luka had few coffee dates together and they decided it is better to stop their relationship. The flame just wasn’t there anymore, Gareth and Luka both wanted it to be, but it disappeared the second Gareth put football above his relationship. Luka was getting over Gareth pretty quickly, not because he was a cruel man, but because his heart belonged to Cris for a longer period of time now. Every moment he shared with Cris made him feel special again, every time they spent long nights just talking made him believe Cris understands him in a way no one ever did. Their relationship went well, because it actually lasted very long. It was easy to get used to being officially in a relationship. Luka was happier than ever. Soon after the UCL finals Luka and many of his teammates were called up for their national duty… The World Cup in Russia.

Croatia’s best run in a World Cup was in 1998. when they were 3rd. Luka wanted and believed this year his team and him, as a captain can change it. Luka flew to Croatia and he knew this means not seeing Cris for a long time, they will be “together” in the same country, but he won’t be able to see him. It made Luka’s heart skip a beat. They just got into a relationship and he knew it’s not a good idea for couples, especially new couples to be apart for such a long time, but was he supposed to do. He went to Croatia with clear head and mind wanting to achieve things with his country that no one ever did. As soon as Luka arrived in Croatia and saw all of his teammates, his eyes sparkled. He loved his team and it was a big honor for him to lead them in a big competition like this. Every night, after trainings, Luka didn’t go out with his friends, he just wanted to stay in his room and talk to Cristiano, he loved every one of their goofy face times where he always laughed his head off. Their “over-the-phone dates” made his night less sad because Cristiano couldn’t physically be there. Soon all of the teams packed up and started their journey to Russia. On 14th of June, opening game happened and everything started. Luka was talking to his friends about the whole situation in his love life. Everyone loved listening to Luka’s Madrid stories, especially now that he basically just switched boyfriends and now they won’t be able to see each other for a month. Cris’s first game was against Spain. The Spain which team has Ramos in it. Ramos was ready for this game, in Real he couldn’t do anything to Cris, but now it was time. Cristiano had no idea Luka ever had anything with Sergio and he didn’t know Sergio actually felt a million things for Luka. Sergio never wanted to make shit happen in his club, he was already short tempered person and he didn’t want to cause a fight. But this was different, this was his home country and it wouldn’t be weird for him to try to destroy Portugal. The long ang tough game finished with the score being 3-3. Luka was playing the day after, he got a call that night from Cris who was a bit weirded out by Sergio being so aggressive, it was usual for him, but this was again over the top even for him. Luka didn’t think much of it, him and Sergio were amazing friends and they had one night stand, but Luka never really thought about it later. Luka’s games are coming up quickly, and Croatia crushed all the other teams in their group. Luka was the proudest captain ever. They were first in their group with all of the games won. Luka and Cristiano were face timing every day, but as the competition progressed and they had less and less time, the calls were getting shorter and less often. At one point they became just normal calls, that lasted for 5 minutes or less. Luka was getting his bad gut feeling again. He didn’t want it, because he knew he will just go search for someone new and he really didn’t want that. Not now, now that he finally found someone who he trusted, completely. He fell for Cris with his entire body and soul, but he was getting scared… What if Cris doesn’t feel the same? What if Luka is just fun for him? Luka tried to think about something else and went out with his friends. They went out to a small bar next to the hotel. In a few days they had their first game in the knockout stage of the cup. Luka was so excited, as well were other boys. “Denmark is not that tough of an opponent, what do you think?” He heard Dejan commenting with Mateo, Šime and Mario. “Maybe, but we can’t slow down our trainings or get too relaxed. Everything is possible now, we should really just train and hope for the best, because I feel we can achieve so much, we just have to continue playing like this and I think we will be fine. The game against Argentina was fucking amazing. I still can’t believe we did THAT!” Mateo was so excited for the game. In fact all of them were, all of them.. except one. Luka was looking sad, sitting at the end of the bar, alone with a cup of tea in his hands and his Air Pods in his ears. Mateo decided he should talk to Luka. “Hey man, what’s going on?” Luka turned around to face Mateo, he saw the concern on his face. “No, no it’s nothing, don’t worry, go have fun.” “No, the fuck, Luka, I see something is going on with you.” Luka sighed and Luka at Mateo: “You really want to listen to my love problems?” Mateo started laughing and he got so excited like a little kid. “You know I love all of your dirty gossip.” Luka smiled, he loved Mateo, he loved how Mateo always listened, even when the problems Luka had were stupid and not even important. He listened. Luka appreciated him so much for that. Luka ranted for good 10 minutes about Cristiano, he just couldn’t stop talking about how he is scared. It was not even a big deal, they just talked less than usual, but Luka, as a jealous queen he was, he had to overreact. “You really have to chill out. It’s probably nothing, I mean he probably is hiding something from you, I don’t know what, but it sure isn’t an affair, I would know, believe me, but maybe there is something there that he is scared to tell you.” Luka thought about Cristiano for a second. He was perfect, Luka couldn’t find any flaw on him, he was handsome, like not just average handsome, handsome handsome, he was always so kind to Luka, carrying him every time he literally fucked him too hard, talked to him if he had any problems, listened.. Why would he hide anything from Luka. Luka really felt love there. The days went by and a big shock arrived soon. Mateo basically ran into Luka’s room and he started screaming into his face: “Portugal IS OUT, LUKA, LUKA!!” Luka was struck by that information. He was standing, not moving for about 5 minutes. That meant a lot of things. Cris is going home. HE knew he will be pissed off, especially if Croatia goes through. He won’t be able to face Luka for days. It’s just the way he is. Luka ran to get his phone. He tried calling Cris for about 6 times and nothing. Everytime it went straight to voicemail. Luka started losing his nerves. He wanted to comfort Cris. He knew how much he hated losing, and this was a big kick for him, especially because he won Euro 2016 and to be sent home this early in the competition will make him pissed off. After a couple of more tries, Cris was still not picking up. Luka was getting worried and started panicking. Thank God, Mateo was with him so he calmed him down. It took a lot of cold water and a big hug, but Luka calmed down. “Hey, don’t panic, we have a big game today, don’t panic.” Luka was getting calmer. He just thought about what will it mean if Croatia goes through, he was turning his mind to the positive stuff in his life. This World Cup was a big blessing in his life. But soon after he calmed down and started laughing with Mateo again, his phone started ringing. He quickly pulled it out of his pocket. It was the man he called for about 10 times, it was the man that was just eliminated from the World Cup, it was the man he loved. “Mateo, please leave just for a second, I need to talk to him.” Mateo understood. He stood up and left the room as quick as possible. “Hey..” Luka’s voice was trembling. “Hey baby. I’m sorry for not calling you earlier, or even yesterday after it happened. I just didn’t have any energy to do it.” “No stop it. I just found out.. I’m so sorry, you know how much I love you. Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world. You can be happy, because if you went through and faced us in one of the stages, you would lose worse than today.” Cris started laughing on the other side of the line, “I consider this as an indirect payback that I sent you home two years ago.” Luka smiled into the phone. “Yes, a deal, I agree.” Luka wanted to start talking again, but he heard Cris was about to start talking so he stopped himself in time. “Listen Luka, I have some news for you, and they are bad. I mean they are amazing and I know, well at least I hope that you will support me with my decision. But they will mean something bad for us.” Luka knew his gut feeling wasn’t wrong, he felt the bad news coming, and in the worst time, just before the game. “Luka, I..” “Just say it, fast.” Luka was scared, he really was. “I am transferring.” Cristiano continued talking after that sentence, but Luka didn’t hear anything. His mind was blank. How was he supposed to react to Cristiano Ronaldo transferring from Real Madrid. How was he supposed to be okay with his boyfriend, his love, moving to a different country. They won’t be spending every day together, they won’ be able to have sleepovers at each others houses. Luka wanted to remember all of the things he and Cris did together, like they are going to run away somewhere. He remembered every sleepover they had, every time he couldn’t find hes underwear in his own bedroom after a wild night, every time he had to go buy new sheets because he ripped them off during Cris just being Cris in bed, he remembered every beautiful thing Cris whispered in his ear when he was sick or scared, he remembered every time Cris came over just like on cue when Gareth left Luka alone in the big apartment. Tears started rolling down his cheeks. “I can’t listen to you.” Cris stopped talking for a moment. It was silence for about a minute. “Luka, this is the best thing for my career right now, you can’t expect me to refuse it. I will have many better opportunities there and we will be able to see each other here and there…” “Did you really just say that. I just got into this relationship with you, because my boyfriend put football above me. He left me alone and now, now you are doing the same exact thing. Why did I ever think you were different. Why was I so naïve?” Luka’s sadness now turned into anger. While the tears were still rolling down his cheeks he started yelling in the phone: “I Believed you, when you said you won’t leave me, and now you do this. I know it’s your career, but fuck you Cris. Real Madrid. It is our home. Your home. How the fuck can you just abandon it. You are old Cris, for a footballer you are. You have 3 or 4 more years and you are done, you won’t be the main name everyone is talking about.” “Exactly, I was getting bored in Real, there was nothing new hap..” “You were getting bored?! Excuse me, three UCL’s were BORING for you?” Luka snapped, the tears dried out and he was furious now, he started kicking stuff with his hand. “Luka, I’m sorry, but it’s a done deal, I am going, 15th of July.” When Cris said those words Luka slammed the lamp next to his bad on the floor. “Do whatever you want, I don’t even care anymore.” Luka threw his phone on the bed. He sat on the bed and started crying again. He felt his tears rolling down like a river. He clenched on the bad and the only thing he wanted was for someone to be his big spoon right now. Not someone, him, the person that just betrayed him.


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well... i am so sorry for this

Luka was standing in the dressing room, ready to go out on the pitch. Cris’s voice was still poking him in the back of his head. He knew it’s over. Long distance relationships are not going to work out. Luka is too jealous for something like that. HE hated that his life was becoming a monotonous game. Fining a boyfriend who puts his job above him. He was supposed to be prepared for something like that. It’s football. And he knows Cris loves money and fame. Was he surprised? No. But he was in shock. Because every time it happened. “Let’s go, we can do it.” He felt Dejan tap him on the shoulder as he ran next to him. As he made it to the pitch, he felt the Cris situation toning down a bit. He felt all those people there supporting him, his team and his country. He knew he can and will do it for them. He was not about to lose this game because of Cris. He stepped on the pitch with courage and fire. Long and painful 90 minutes later, the score was still 1-1. Which meant 30 minutes more. Luka was tired, his legs hurt and he knew he had to do it. As he heard Croatia chants from the bleachers he felt the fire in him again, so he started yelling so everyone can hear him. “We can do this! I know we can. We fought too much for this, and if the penalty shootout happens we can do that too. I love you and let’s do this for all of the people that travelled here to support us and everyone else watching back home.” As he finished the sentence everyone started clapping. The game started again. It was getting harder and harder to play. And then the world stopped in the 116th minute of the game. 4 minutes to the end and the penalty is given to Croatia. Luka knew what was he supposed to do. He was just supposed to score. That’s it. Simple, right? No, not in any curcumstances. Not when Schmeichel is the goalie, not when the whole country, continent, world is looking at you. Not when you know if you fail this and return home to be depressed, you will have to do it alone and not in Cris’s hands. Luka stepped in front of the ball on the white spot. He looked at it and remembered Cris. It was dumb, but Cris was the one shooting penalities in Real. Everything reminded him of Cris. He looked at the ball and shot. And he didn’t do it. Schmeichel saved the ball and Luka’s whole world fell in front of his eyes. He already felt the weight of losing, he felt like it all went to wind. But it didn’t. Not yet. The penalty shootout. Was he supposed to shoot again? Yes he did, he as the captain needed and wanted to shoot again. Not one of his teammates gave him shit for not scoring. Not one, but he knew, as a captain, he just had to. He knew the risk, if he misses this one too, he will be the nation’s biggest nightmare coming true, he was the hero of the cup, and what after this? The time came, same scene just twice as important now. He stepped in front of the ball, this time no Cris on his mind, just a thought of his whole country celebrating as one. One, two, three... And IT’S IN! But it’s not over, not yet... The last penalty is given to Ivan. He will determine if Croatia is going to the quarter finals of the World Cup. He hugged his teammates, his friends, his family. He closed his eyes and it stopped. The wait stopped. Croatia is in the quarter finals. They are through. Ivan scored. The tears and happiness just started bursting out of him. It was a moment to remember. Maybe they will do what 1998’ Vatreni did, maybe even more... They came to the hotel late, they had amazing night having fun, singing and drinking a bit. A bit, maybe a bit more. The party just went on and on. Everyone eased him about his penalty, but he didn’t care. It was a night to be happy about, a night where he missed and scored a penalty, a night where Turkey 2008 didn’t repeat. It was a night where Croatia won through a long fight and he was supposed to have fun. After he drank quite a lot, Mateo and Mario took him to his room together. When they opened the room, they saw the mess Luka made while fighting with Cris. Mario didn’t comment anything but Mateo saw the concern on his face. “He’s fine. Some love problems.” Mario chuckled and laid Luka down on the bed. “I am going down there again, are you coming with me?” Mateo shook his head. “Go on, I’ll stay here with him. In case he throws up, we don’t want out captain to choke on his own vomit.” Mario smiled and went out of the messy room. It was unusual for Luka to rink, any amount of alcohol. When Mario stepped outside, Mateo wanted to tidy Luka’s room a bit. But in a few minutes he heard Luka waking up. “Mateo, can you please just bring me my phone.” Mateo looked at Luka in disbelief. He just woke up after being half a sleep, half just too drunk to stand up and he want his phone?? Mateo found it funny so he started laughing. After a few minutes of searching he found Luka’s phone under the bed in his bag and he gave it to him. “What do you need your phone for? It’s 3 am, no one will answer your calls.” Luka started typing, and he didn’t stop even after Mateo’s point. Mateo sat next to him to look at the phone. What was so important at that moment? When he saw the message Luka was typing, Mateo took his phone. “No, you”ll regret it tomorrow. Believe me. It’s stupid to write something like this while being drunk.” Mateo was becoming mad, he started yelling still holding Luka’s phone in his hands. “Give me my phone back!” Luka ran around the room after him. He needed his phone to finish the message. “No, Luka please don’t be stupid, whatever happened between you two, you can get through with it, there is no need to lie about some affairs” Luka looked down at the floor when Mateo said that. “Or you are just telling the truth..?” Luka was going to crash down, it was easy to see he wasn’t okay. “It was just one time, it was before we were together together and it really happened accidentally. Please Mateo believe me.” Mateo sad next to Luka again. “Don’t worry about me. I do believe you, but he probably won’t so don’t tell him stuff like that when you are drunk.” Luka was ready to delete the message and just forget about his dumb idea, but he remembered that Cris will be gone when he comes home after the World Cup. It was like something took over Luka, he violently took his phone from Mateo’s hands. “No, I will tell him. He told me about his transfer now, now! He knew I have an important game today, but he still told me, today. He told me and he knew it will break me. How the fuck am I supposed to react to the fact that my boyfriend will leave our city and go somewhere else. Mateo he will go to Italy! We are footballers, we don’t have time for a long distance relationships. We don’t, it’s just the truth. And now, when our relationship will end however you look at it, I have to tell him” Mateo looked at Luka for a few seconds. He observed him. How can so much anger and words come out from such a small person. “Do you really want your relationship to end with you hurting him like that?” “Yes, because he hurt me, he hurt me by not even asking me what I think about him moving, not even a single question about it. I feel like I am just anyone to him, he CALLED me to tell me something so big like that.” Mateo shook his head and stood up. “Please go have fun, and don’t tell anyone about this, just go have fun and forget about me, I’ll be okay.” Luka waved at him as Mateo stepped out of the room. Luka still visibly drunk sat on the floor. He rested his head on the bed and he started writing again. His fingers weren’t able to stop and when he did finish the text, he just hit send. “Hey. I was supposed to write this earlier, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have any energy, not after that fight. Today I missed a penalty shoot. Maybe it wasn’t because of you, but I am pretty sure it is. Maybe ths isn’t something you want to hear, but you need to. I will never be okay with this. You left me, alone and unprotected. You haven’t said a word about this. Never. And I am supposed to be your boyfriend, your soulmate, someone you can tell anything to. But you didn’t and now you just left. Maybe that’s for the best, maybe we just aren’t meant for each other. You, basically the king of Real Madrid is going to Italy? I am so so fucking sad you are leaving, but maybe I just don’t need you. I don’t know. Maybe I kill myself because I’ll miss you like hell and maybe I find someone knew, someone better than you. Yeah, someone better. Oh yeah, maybe I call Sergio, he fucked me once. It was 2 months ago, before one of our dinners. I am sorry for telling you just right now, but I never had a chance to bring it up. I am sorry. Go enjoy your new life in Italy, I’m sure it will be amazing.” Without any hesitation. He knew by doing this he will end it all, probably forever, but he was hurt. He knew if he started re-reading the message he would probably bail and wouldn’t even send it. But the message was sent, and Luka was scared to know the answer. Luka was scared of the reaction he will get back. What if he starts panicking, what if he just doesn’t care. What if he calls back. Luka was not ready to listen to his voice again. Luka went to sleep, he got a migraine after all that, it was over. It all got to him at once and he just couldn’t take it anymore. He ran to the bathroom and threw his guts out. The morning after was hell. Luka woke up late. They were allowed to wake up late because they had a free day. Luka’s head was banging and he couldn’t stand up from the bed. He remembered the message from yesterday and everything that happened, and he started panicking and searching for his phone with hope Cris didn’t read the message. He couldn’t find his phone. Still in his underwear, he ran out of his room and started running towards Mateo’s room. “MATEO! MATEO,l! Where the fuck is my phone?” He started banging on the doors and yelling. “Luka, what the fuck?” Mateo opened the doors, still half asleep. Luka rushed into his room and started throwing things around and trying to find his phone. “Where did you put it Mateo?!” Mateo was waking up a bit more. “Are you okay? I left your room yesterday and gave you your phone, why would I take it to my room, what the fuck?” Luka still searched for the phone and then just left. He returned back to his room and searched everything again. In the end he found his phone in the bathroom behind the toilet. He probably left it there when he was throwing up. He was scared to look at his phone. Maybe he didn’t open it, maybe he was in training and he just didn’t look at or something. But what if he called, what if he sent him messages, what if he apologized. Luka already felt the guilt piling up. He took his phone and looked at the notifications. Nothing, no messages or calls from him. Luka sighed in relief. He just probably didn’t see it and Luka can carelessly delete the message. But it was worse. Worse than panicking messages and calls. It was just “seen”.


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hehe

Luka was free all day and the only thing he wanted to do was sleep all day and cry. It hurt, that Cris didn’t even care enough to respond. Why? Luka didn’t know. He stayed in his room, but when was time for dinner and he still didn’t show up it became a bit suspicious. Mateo went to his room to see what’s up with him. “Hey. Luka, are you okay?” No response. Mateo was getting worried. He wasn’t answering his phone the whole day and now he isn’t answering his doors. Mateo knocked few more times and after the third loud knock Luka opened the doors. He looked lik a huge mess, with his red puffy eyes and huge bags under his eyes. Mateo entered the room which was still a mess and sat on the bed. “Luka, what the fuck happened?” Luka sat next to Mateo and started crying. Mateo hugged him. He is always there for Luka. Luka was always there for him, and now it was time to do the same for him. “He didn’t even answer.” Luka said softly. Mateo barely even heard what Luka said, but he did and he knew it broke his heart. “What the fuck?” Mateo was now getting angry. Ronaldo wasn’t like that, ever. He was always amazing to Luka, he gave him all of his attention and affection. “Can I please get your phone?” Luka looked at him in shock. “And what do you need my phone for?”. Mateo smiled and started searching for the phone around the room. “Aha! Found it!” He got the phone and because Luka was predictable, Mateo got into the phone really easy. He entered the messages between Luka and Cris. He quickly scanned the message Luka sent and he sighed. “He really is a jerk.”, after that Mateo turned on face time and called Cris. “No! NO! What the fuck Mateo?!” But it was too late, Cris already answer and looked visibly disappointed with seeing Mateo on the screen. “Hey, Mateo… what’s up?” “Fuck you, you really are a jerk, fuck you Cris, fuck you!” He hung up and threw the phone to Luka. Luka almost fell while trying to catch the phone. “What was that all about?”. Mateo looked at Luka and smiled with his sweetest smile. “It was what he deserved, now please clean this mess and come down. We can go out for a bit or something.”. “I think I’ll just continue sleeping, but thank you for this. I needed it.” Mateo nodded in approval and just exited the room. Luka sat on the bed and looked at his phone. Maybe he should really just call Cris and talk to him. Maybe… to see what’s going on, and.. His thought was cut off by his phone ringing, but it wasn’t Cris. It was Sergio. “Oh hi Sergio.” Luka sounded dull and moody, but he tried not to. “Heey, congrats on moving forward. It’s a big thing. I wanted to ask you if you want to maybe go out, because I am going home today, but I decided I could stop by to see you and maybe to go out. We haven’t seen each other in so long and you know I miss you, and we should definetly catch up on everything.” Luka sighed and answered shortly. “I’m sorry, I can’t, not today.” Sergio heard something is wrong but he didn’t want to go into it over the phone. “Okay, we’ll see each other after summer then.” Luka hung up and turned around in his bed. Maybe he was supposed to go out with Sergio, maybe he was supposed to just go and have fun, but no. He decided he will stay in his room and think about his now probably ex-boyfriend and his transfer to another country and another club. Luka decided he will go eat something, because he was starving. He went to the elevator and got into the restaurant that was connected to the hotel pretty quickly. Some of the guys were still there, eating dinner and having fun. Dejan and Šime were on a date. It was not hard to assume that. It made Luka happy for them, seeing them eating together, smiling at each other and occasionally just kissing in between bites. Luka just wanted that. As much as he loved being bent over a table, he loved small and romantic moments like that, he loved the affection. He ordered some food and he sat alone. But he wasn’t alone for too long. Mario showed up from somewhere and sat next to him. “I heard you are having love problems. Tell me.” Luka was a bit confused, Mario never cared about any of his stories especially not if they involved love. “Excuse me? Mario are you okay?” “Yes Luka, I am, and you aren’t, so please just talk.” When Luka started talking, no one could stop him. He told Mario the whole story from the beginning to end. Mario was a bit in shock. “Now I know who I have to beat up when I come back to Italy. He always seemed that way, why the fuck were you together?” Luka chuckled at a thought of Mario beating Cris up, but he kind of liked the idea. Mario got a call from someone and had to go. It left Luka just enough time to eat, when Mateo walked up to his table. “I’m sorry you have to look at this two after everything that happened.” Luka smiled and blushed a bit. “No, let them be, I wish that was me.” He looked at Dejan kissing Šime on the neck as he said that. Maybe one day he’ll finally have that and be that happy. Mateo started chatting with him, but Luka decided he will go to his room again to rest so that he could be fresh tomorrow and with clear mind. He got to his room and just as he was about to go to sleep, he saw the mess his room was. Broken lamp, all of his clothes on the floor and his shoes all over the room. Maybe it was time to clean it up. He started folding his clothes into his big Nike bag, but after a few minutes he heard a knock on the doors. He tried to ignore it, because he wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. After a few seconds two more knocks could be heard. Luka decided he should check who could it be. He just talked to Mateo and Mario so he knew it wasn’t them. He got up from the floor, where he was folding clothes and opened the doors. Right there, in front of him, was a strong male figure. Sergio looked at Luka with a huge smile and said hi. “What are you doing here?” Luka was in shock. “I heard you on the phone. Something is wrong with you and I just can’t stand you like that, and I’m not about to let you fuck up your chance in this world cup because of some problems you have.” After Luka heard that he broke into million pieces. Sergio actually cares about him, he cares, him, not his boyfriend, but him, Sergio Ramos, a guy Luka always thought was just a one night stand. Luka was crying and Sergio acted like he knew what to do. He hugged Luka and brought him to the bed. He saw the messy room and he was even more concerned. “Can you please tell me what’s going on?” Luka, still in tears, tried to explain what happened and Sergio listened to every word. He listened while holding Luka in his hands, his big hands that felt like the best protection for Luka’s fragile body. Luka started to tremble from all the crying, but Sergio tightened his hug. “He is such a jerk. Why does he have to be like that. He doesn’t deserve you Luka, he really doesn’t.” Luka looked at Sergio and cried again. “Now you listen to me. Cris is a jerk, okay I get it he is getting a transfer, that’s fine, but he told you yesterday, on the day of your game, what the fuck? Also you spill your soul in that message and he didn’t even care that much to reply. He doesn’t deserve you and you really don’t need him.” Luka looked at the floor and whispered; “But I do need someone. And who will be that someone if not him?” Sergio lifted Luka’s chin. He moved closer to him and whispered in his ear: “I can be.” Electricity went through Luka’s whole body, as Sergio whispered those words in his ear. “Maybe you could.” Sergio just leaned in to kiss Luka. The kiss lasted long, long enough for Luka to realize that it wasn’t a one night stand, it really wasn’t. Sergio started undressing Luka, and it was just what he needed, after a full day of crying and depression, he needed that. Sergio Got on top of him as their naked bodies started touching each other, Luka whispered; “Thank you Sergio.” Sergio smiled and dove deep into Luka. Luka started moaning, but he enjoyed it. Sergio knew what Luka was into, but at this point he just wanted to spend a nice, romantic night with him. Luka’s moans started to sound like crying which alerted Sergio. “Do you want me to stop? Are you okay?” “No, no no! Are you crazy, don’t stop.” Sergio continued moving, slowly and then faster and faster. It made Luka crazy, he wanted to punch the wall, but he really didn’t have any energy in him. After they both finished, Sergio laid next to Luka and started stroking his hair. He prompted himself on one elbow and looked at Luka motionless on the bed. He looked at his body, his beautiful hair and he knew he loved him. What is he supposed to say to him? “Hey Luka, I have loved you for so long, but I never got a chance to tell you.” It will sound dumb and fake. Sergio just wanted to protect Luka at all cost, he knew he was hurt, twice, and he didn’t want him to get hurt again. He knew Luka still loved Cris, but maybe it was time to move on. Maybe Luka realized Cris won’t look back at them anymore. He chose his path and it is in Italy. Sergio was too tired to think about all that right now. He laid down again and just as he was about to fall asleep he felt Luka snuggling up to him. Luka intertwined their legs together and leaned onto Sergio. As Sergio held him in his hands, he decided this is what he wants, he just wanted to stay in this moment, forever.


	6. CHAPTER SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted them to be cute and happy for at least one chapter

The rest of the world cup went by so fast. Luka stayed in contact with Sergio, who encouraged him to be even better in all of his games. He called him every time when Luka was in the bus and was driving to the game or the final training. Sergio knew the right words to give courage and will for Luka to win. Croatia-Russia in quarter finals was already so important for Croatia and when went through to the semi- finals no one believed it. In the beginning of the World Cup no one ever thought they would go so far and they did. Semi-finals. It was scary even to think about it, Croatia-England and everyone’s eyes on Croatia. If they go to finals, it will be Croatia’s fist ever finals. Night before the game against England Luka was starting to panic. He didn’t want to call up any of the boys because he didn’t want to show them his weakness. He sat on the bed, trying to think about something else, but it wasn’t that easy. And then his phone started ringing. Luka’s face started glowing. “Heeey.” Luka’s soft voice was almost singing the words. “Hello love, are you okay?” Sergio knew the right words how to calm Luka down and make him feel loved. “Now I am. You always know the right time to call. I wish you could be here next to me… or on top of me.” Luka chuckled, but he wasn’t joking. He missed every single touch and kiss Sergio gave him the night he needed it the most. “I am waiting for you, so when you come back I’ll be on top of you in no time.” A huge smile appeared on Luka’s face. “Thank you.” He hung up and finally had something else to think about. But the game went well, not just well, but amazing. Croatia was in the World Cup finals and Luka couldn’t be prouder. Few days later, they didn’t win, but the rest is history. Kids will be learning about Luka Modrić, captain of the team that got into Croatia’s first captain, about 2018 as the best year of Croatian sport, they will learn about the whole welcome of Vatreni Zagreb. It’s what he deserved, he out of all people. A month passed. Luka was still overwhelmed with the whole World Cup feeling. After the Cup he went to a long vacation and after he returned to Madrid, the first thing he did was call Sergio. They met up for a coffee date. Luka was waiting for Sergio in front of one of their favorite coffee places in Madrid. It was a vintage café with huge wooden tables. Luka loved that places because it was different. He hated all of the Starbucks’ where everyone went. He loved privacy and this place was the place when he needed to escape clamor. Sergio was a bit late, but Luka didn’t really mind. He just couldn’t wait to feel Sergio again. They haven’t seen each other since THAT night in Russia. Sergio called him every day, but it was different, to feel someone, to scent his breath on his neck. Sergio arrived and when Luka got a sight of him in the short distance he couldn’t help himself but to squeal. Sergio walked towards Luka and when he came few inches from him, they just looked at each other. But a tear escaped Luka’s eye and when Sergio saw it, he hugged Luka so tight. He wasn’t letting of him for at least three minutes. Luka was silently crying in his arms and Sergio knew it wasn’t a bad sign. Luka was an overly emotional person and reunions made him super emotional. Especially when it is a reunion with a person that was there for you when you were at your lowest. After a few minutes of just silence, tight hugs and tears, they finally managed to enter the café and order. “So, now you are the national hero?” Sergio said through smiles. Luka chuckled, but also nodded in confirmation. “I mean, people are calling me that, but I would never call myself a hero, more of a good support in bad times.” Sergio looked at him and started laughing. “I think I am that. Especially this past month.” Luka smiled. He drank his coffee and smiled at the same time. It was a funny scene to imagine, but he just couldn’t stop smiling. Seeing Sergio’s face made him light up from inside and out. “ So, UEFA Europe awards are coming up, and after those FIFA World awards… You know you’ll win everything?” Luka smiled, but didn’t believe anything Sergio said. “You are bullshitting, we all know who will win both of those awards.” Luka’s face got all sad at once. His smile just got wiped away at one thought of Cris and it made Sergio’s heart hurt. “Luka, stop. It’s unhealthy to think about him all the time. Look at me. Think about me.” Luka lifted his glance at Sergio and he smiled from ear to ear. He had Sergio in front of him, he had the guy who was with him when the guy he is thinking about broke his heart. Luka leaned in and kissed Sergio. Sergio pushed his tongue into Luka’s mouth and started dominating in his mouth. Luka just relaxed and enjoyed. It was a bit awkward. The whole scene. Luka, leaning over the table, and Sergio kissing him so strong that he was now too weak to hold himself over the table. Sergio stopped and put Luka in his lap. “I think this is better for both of us.” Luka smiled and said: “Definitely more comfortable.” Sergio hugged Luka again. It made him feel strong, stronger than ever, holding this small body in his hands. “Luka…” Sergio stopped kissing him. “You had to stop?” Luka was a bit disappointed with the short make-up session. “I love you.” IT happened. Luka was startled by this sentence. He waited the day he will come back to Madrid so he can tell it to Sergio, but he didn’t have to. Luka stared at Sergio for a few moments. “I love you too.” It just went through his mouth without him even realizing. Sergio lifted Luka, left some money on the table and carried him to his car. “You are coming to my house today.” A week passed and Luka was in Sergio’s apartment every day. Maybe it seemed a bit too much, but Luka needed that strong touch on his skin every day. He needed Sergio’s soft words every morning when he woke up, and all of the things Sergio did to him before they fell asleep. It was Thursday morning when Luka woke up next to Sergio. He looked at him and just wanted to say “thank you” for 100th time that week. He wanted to go to the bathroom, was his teeth and shower but as soon as he scooched to the side of the bed he felt a strong hand grip him and pulled him in. Luka was always the little spoon and this was just a natural scene to happen. Sergio buried his head in the back of Luka’S neck, which made Luka smile because he loved how Sergio’s small beard tickled his neck. Sergio started kissing his neck, while still spooning Luka and holding him by the hand over his body. Luka enjoyed the whole situation, but then somewhere from another room a phone rang. “Please leave it to ring, please.” Sergio knew first thought in Luka’s head was “it must be Cristiano!”. At least he feared it. But Luka being curious as always had to walk up to the phone and see who is it. “It’s Marcelo” Luka didn’t hear from him in so long so he was confused on why is he calling right now. “Hey! We haven’t talked in so long!” “Hey, hey I have to congratulate you!” Marcelo was noticeably excited. Luka was a bit confused at first. “For what exactly?” “You don’t know??” Sergio yelled from the bedroom: “What does he want?” “Oh is that Sergio, say hi to him. But anyways YOU ARE NOMINATED FOR UEFA PLAYER OF THE YEAR!” Luka was silent at first. Words weren’t coming up and Sergio’ continuous yelling didn’t help. “Wait are you sure?” “Yes I’m sure, the fuck? How did you not know?” “I don’t know, I was in kind of an isolation for the past week. I needed to cleanse from everything that happened lately.” Marcelo laughed and talked to Luka for a bit more and then said good bye and hung up. “So? What was so important that you had to talk to him for full 10 minutes?” Sergio was even more jealous than Luka, so everything bothered him. HE loved Marcelo, but this was something… something really special. “Well, I am nominated for the UEFA award, the one you said…” Sergio basically jumped out of the bed and kissed Luka. “I told you so! You were so good this year, it’s what you deserve, hey you got the Golden Ball on the World Cup. It is a thing not even Cris has so…” Luka smiled, but at a mention of Cris’ name he frowned a bit. But it went away really quick. Luka started smiling, really really hard. “I am nominated for the UEFA Player of the Year.” The words just got to him. Sergio started laughing at a sight of Luka being so excited and happy. After all of the mornings when Sergio just sat next to Luka who was broken down and couldn’t stop crying, something like this was the best thing that he could see. “Do you think Cris will win it, he is surely the second nominated, I mean I won’t win it, for sure, but this is the best thing that happened in the last month.” Sergio took Luka by the hand and said: “I know you’ll win it. Maybe you’ll get a prize even before the Award ceremony.” Luka smiled and let Sergio do whatever he wanted. Sergio started touching Luka and undressed him. They were only wearing underwear so it wasn’t long before Luka was fully naked. Sergio pinned him against the wall which made Luka go way back. It made Luka hard. Sergio made him spread his legs and when entered, which he did fast, Luka started moaning so loud. Sergio, with one hand holding Luka’s waist and with other gripping his hair, was going faster, which made Luka’s knees tremble. Sergio realized Luka will not be able to stand much longer so he quickly switched from the wall to the bed, where he positioned Luka on his knees, Luka still weak, tried to hold himself up with his hands, but every time Sergio started going faster Luka’s hand and knees started shaking. At one point he started begging Sergio: “Please let me just finish, please.” But Sergio didn’t let go of his hair, he even gripped it harder, which made Luka want to finish even more. It lasted for a few more minutes and then Sergio finished and pulled out, which made Luka finish and fall down on the bed. Luka was drenched in sweat. He fell into his own cum which made Sergio laugh, but he turned Luka around, got a wet towel and cleaned him up. He kissed him once again which made Luka smile through tears. Before he fell asleep, he managed to get one sentence, so lightly and quietly that Sergio barely could hear it: “I lied before. You are the best thing that happened to me.”


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love to make everything sad

UEFA Awards and Sergio and Luka were getting ready together. It was the warmest day in August, but they didn’t mind it at all. When they woke up it took them an hour to get out of the bed, because every time Luka wanted to go take a shower or dress up, Sergio pulled him back into his hug. After an hour of Sergio’s hot body being basically glued to Luka, they finally started getting ready because they had to be on the airport in 3 hours. Flying to Monaco with a helicopter, seemed like a cool date idea. Sergio just showered and when he got out of the shower he caught Luka staring. Luka saw him naked a billion of times, especially in the last 2 weeks, but he loved to just observe his body. He loved to see all of Sergio’s tattoos glistening on his wet body. Luka just didn’t want to get hard again because they needed to be ready and leave the house for the first time, in what seemed like forever. Sergio was trying to pick out a shirt in his big closet, while Luka just picked up a black shirt and some pants that seemed the smallest. He looked funny, but Sergio found it amazingly sexy. Sergio walked out of the closet with a clean, black, satin button up shirt that looked like it will rip off of his body. Sergio walked in the bathroom to get his hair done and to wash his teeth. Luka walked in after him and tried to put his hands around Sergio’s body. Sergio turned around, hugged Luka and lifted him up. Luka tangled his legs around Sergio’s waist. At that point Luka’s face looked directly at Sergio. They stared at each other for a few moments and then Sergio just kissed Luka. It was so gentle and soft. Luka buried his head into the back of Sergio’s neck and smelled his perfume. He tried to take it all in at once. He thought about everything that happened since May and it overwhelmed him. But then he remember he was in these strong arms, arms that held him and made him feel safe, safe forever. Because of all of the kisses in the bathroom, they almost missed their private helicopter. They were late to the airport for at least 20 minutes, but the helicopter was there, in all of it’s glory. Luka sat in the behind seat, while Sergio was sitting in font with the pilot. While they were flying, he was constantly turning to look at Luka, to see his small face with his big sunglasses. They looked good on him, I mean, everything looked good on him. As they were landing Sergio gave Luka his hand because he knew Luka needed it, and he really did. Luka was fine with flying, he just didn’t like the landing. They landed safely in Monaco. It was humid and hot, but Luka’s cheeks weren’t flushed because of that. As they were getting out of the helicopter, Sergio’s shirt looked even tighter on his big and strong body. Luka walked by him and whispered: “I would let you do anything to me with that shirt on.” Sergio started smiling and hugged Luka, maybe for too long but it was just enough time for him to say to Luka: “ I already did everything to you bunny”. It took Luka way, way back. To May, to the start, to the “one night stand”. Sergio didn’t call Luka bunny since then. Luka’s smile was the biggest in months. Bunny. It was his favorite pet name for him. He just wanted Sergio to knock him into the wall and undress him, but he had to behave. He had to get to the podium, sit close to Sergio and not react too sudden. They got a big hotel room, even though they won’t be spending the night there. It was for their comfort because they had at least 3 hours before the ceremony. They entered the big shiny hotel room where one suitcase was waiting for them. Inside were two suits and when they took them out it was obvious which one is for who. Luka picked up the smaller, black suit and went to the bathroom. Sergio dressed up pretty quickly and he went to the bathroom to the big mirror to tie his tie. As he did that he started watching Luka who was trying to find his tie somewhere in the suitcase. Sergio took the tie from the suitcase while Luka was in the bathroom and he took it out from his pocket and put it around Luka’s eyes. Luka was confused at first, but after he realized what Sergio is doing he smiled but panicked at the same time. “We can’t. No, Sergio we have to be there in less than 2 ho…” Luka tried to finish the sentence, but he felt his pants slipping to the floor and he knew what will happen now. He wanted it so bad, but again he was paranoid they will be late. Usually he was the one on the knees, so this was something new for Luka, and he loved every bit of it. Sergio was gentle and first, but he got aggressive towards the end which made Luka search for a wall to hold onto. As Luka finished, Sergio found some papers, cleaned up and smiled: “We didn’t get anything on the suit. Good job Bunny.” Luka had to get used to it, the pet name Bunny. But his heart skipped each time he heard it coming out of Sergio’s mouth. Sergio untied the tie from Luka’s eyes and tied it around his neck, where it was supposed to go. “Maybe we should really get going.” Luka pulled up his pants and he was buttoning them, he took his phone and they exited the room. The taxi waited for them and they arrived to the venue even before they should. Sergio always found it cute how Luka panicked over being late. The venue was huge and Luka was a bit nervous, he held a smile on his face, but while he was giving interviews, his stare always ended up searching for Sergio. Sergio was smiling and laughing with the reporter and his nose wrinkled in the cutest way. Luka loved the moment where he could just observe Sergio from a distance, it led him to the days they were just teammates, the days when Luka thought about Sergio in a way he wasn’t supposed to, but now all of his thoughts are coming to reality. They met up with Keylor and when they got into the big hall, they were assigned seats. Luka was sitting in the first row next to Mo Salah, and Sergio was just behind them. Sergio and Mo weren’t in good relations, but Sergio tried to be more friendly with Mo every time they met on some kind of award show. After a few moments the program started and it lasted for long time, they were giving the awards at the end so there was a long wait. After a long hour, it started with the Awards program. Sergio and Keylor both won award in their category, same as Luka. But then it came the award for Footballer of the year and Luka started getting more nervous. Cris was supposed to come, he was in the same category as Luka and Mo, but he didn’t show up, which meant he didn’t win it. Luka was sure Mo will take it, but then they called up his name and he froze. He was the one getting the award. After the ceremony Luka, Sergio, Keylor and all the other winners took pictures and gave interviews. Luka and Sergio went out of the venue together, holding hands and looking at each other. Sergio was asked to do one more interview so while he was talking to the reporter Luka went to the backroom, which was also kind of a wardrobe to sit down a bit, call his friends and relax. He turned on his phone and looked at all of the beautiful messages from his friends and family congratulating him. Luka was so happy, as much as this year was bad in his personal life it was amazing for his career which also made him extremely happy. He finally thought everything was falling into the right place. But while he was scrolling through the messages there was one that stuck to his eye the most and he wasn’t sure If he is imagining it. It was a message from him, the one and only, who didn’t even care to respond to message where Luka poured his heart out. “Hey, just wanted to say congratulations, don’t worry if you hear some rumors that I’m jealous, I’m not. You deserve this more than anyone. You mean too much to me to just bash you like that.” Luka was in shock. “You mean too much to me”, it was a sentence Luka read about 10 times before finally realizing what it said. He didn’t want to respond, but his fast fingers started typing before he even thought about what will he write. “Thanks. Next time when someone will mean a lot too you don’t ignore them, it will crush them.” Luka pressed send and then realized what he wrote. But he didn’t really care at this point. Why would he be scared of Cris, it was done for good, he now has a boyfriend that actually cares for him. But Luka caught himself waiting for the message to be opened and maybe even getting a reply. “I’m sorry if I hurt you, hope you are better now. I really miss you. I hope we can see each other soon, maybe even work together again sometimes.” Luka looked at the message in complete confusion. Work together again? What is he implying? “Oh, I am okay, I finally found someone who actually cares for me so don’t worry about me. But what are you talking about? Working together?” Luka slipped his phone in his jacket and in that moment Sergio entered the room. “Are we going home finally?” Luka smiled, hugged Sergio and received a big kiss on the lips. Few people that worked in that venue were given their trophies to put them safely in the car and then in the helicopter. Luka and Sergio got their clothes back. They dressed up and went to the airport and then back to Madrid. Sergio insisted on sitting with Luka in the back this time. Luka was so exhausted and he fell asleep on Sergio’s shoulder. Sergio was playing with Luka’s hair all of the time which probably made Luka fall asleep in the end. Sergio observed Luka and he was so grateful for him. Sergio always had his demons, never could find a person that liked him the way he is. He always seemed aggressive and mean, but he was actually just scared to open up to anyone. Luka was the first person who got to see him the way he really is. When they landed Sergio carried Luka to the car and from the car to their house. He laid him in the bed and kissed him goodnight and then went to take a bath to relax a bit. Luka was sleeping tightly, but after less than an hour he woke up suddenly covered up in sweat. He realized Sergio wasn’t next to him but he saw lights in the bathroom so he thought he is probably taking a shower or something. Luka searched for his phone and saw a few messages and one missed call. Two out of three messages were from Cris, and the call too. Luka was a bit confused at first. “I talked to Allegri, he likes you and your style of playing. He watched you play in the World Cup. Maybe you should think about it.” Luka looked at the messages in utter disbelief. He climbed out of the bed and went to the upper floor so Sergio wouldn’t hear him. He locked himself in the bathroom in the other side of the house and he called Cris. It was 4:00 am but Luka just couldn’t wait. “Hey Luka!” Cris was wide awake. Like he was waiting for that call. “You just called me in time before I leave for my early morning training.” Luka couldn’t talk, he felt like his mouth were sawn shut. “What was that all about? ME transferring? It’s not that easy.” Luka just started talking out of nowhere. “It actually is. I miss you Luka. Every day and I can’t believe what I did to you and I wanted to make sure you feel better, and if you want you could come here.” Luka felt tears, they piled up and just started rolling down his cheeks. “You can’t just pretend like everything is fine. It’s not fine, NOT FINE. I felt left out, I felt used and disgusted by you. And now this, do you hear yourself.” Luka heard Cris crying. It was new for him. It was new that Cris showed actual deep emotion. “I know, I fucked up, badly, but I am sorry. I just can’t go against my feelings. Luka I still feel it.” Luka was silent. He stared at the floor and listened to Cris’ breathing. “Say it, please just say it.” “I love you Luka, I never stopped loving you.”


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry

Few weeks passed. Luka and Sergio retuned to the trainings and everything seemed fine. Luka and Cris stayed in contact after that night. Luka never said “I love you” back, but he felt that maybe somewhere in his heart he still feels love for Cris too. It was always an afterthought in his head. He tried to forget about the fact that Cris directly asked him to transfer to Juventus just to be with him. It bothered him every single day, but he couldn’t talk about it with anyone. Especially not with Sergio. Luka was scared of his reaction if he finds out. The FIFA Best awards were coming up and Luka, Sergio, Marcelo, Thibaut and Raphael were supposed to go together. They all went together alone by a private plane Real Madrid provided for them. “I love being spoiled like this. Last time a helicopter and now this. I love it!” Luka chuckled at Sergio’s commentaries. As they were entering the plane, Sergio put his hand around Luka’s waist. As soon as they sat next each other on the big leather seat Sergio started kissing Luka in the nose. Marcelo sat on the opposite side of Sergio and Luka, but he was facing them and as he sat down he started smiling and said: “Can you leave that for the hotel room? We have only two hours of flying.” Luka smiled and just to rub it in Marcelo’s face he stood up and sat on Sergio. Sergio smiled and he cupped Luka’s whole body with his big hands. Marcelo started smiling even more and he took a picture of them. “You two really are the most disgusting couple I’ve ever seen.” Luka mimicked a shocked face, but then just started smiling and laughing. He returned to his seat and just leaned his head on Sergio’s shoulder. They were just sitting like that, leaned on each other for two hours straight. Luka played with Sergio’s fingers even though his hand was twice smaller than Sergio’s. They arrived in London pretty soon and they had a big taxi waiting for all five of them. The taxi driver took them to a big hotel in which every one of them had their own room. Sergio went straight to Luka’s room, not even thinking about it. Luka looked at him confused. “You have your own room.” “Oh you really thought I’ll leave you alone?” Luka smiled and hugged Sergio. Their suits were waiting for them on the beds of their rooms, so Sergio had to go pick it up from his room. He returned and he placed his and Luka’s suit on the big table in the corner of the room. He laid on the bed and gestured Luka to come and sit down next to him. They laid on the bed together. Just laid there, talked and laughed. Nothing more or less. Sergio was hugging Luka all the time and Luka snuggled his head into Sergio’s chest. At this point in his life, Sergio was so happy Luka was there, lying next to him, he was so happy that he ended up in his life. Sergio kissed Luka’s nose and forehead. Luka was smiling all the time and he let Sergio play with his hair while they talked. They talked, chuckled and just enjoyed the comfy bed for at least an hour. Sergio checked his phone and they realized they have to be at the venue in half an hour. They both jumped off of the bed and started dressing up and getting ready. In 10minutes they were in a taxi driving to the venue. Luka’s phone rang and it was Marcelo asking where they were. Luka told him they got a bit occupied and that they are on their way. “Oh, I am wondering what you were doing… hheheh” Luka smiled into the floor “It’s really not that:” “Yeah, yeah whatever you say.” In about half an hour they arrived at the venue being just 10 minutes late so nothing was ruined. They walked the red carpet, took pictures, gave interviews and then they were ready to enter the big hall and sit on their seats. Luka was in the front row while Sergio and Marcelo were few rows behind him. Zlatko also came because he was nominated for an award too. “Luka, all the luck today. I know you’ll get it.” Luka thanked him and just smiled. As he sat in his seat he realized how uncomfortable he is without Sergio making him calm by his side. He just sat there in silence and tried to calm himself down. Sergio saw Luka practically shaking and tapping his foot nervously on the floor. “Luka. Luka!” But no response. Luka was so far away in his thoughts of not winning. It wouldn’t even be anything bad for him, but he felt like everyone will be disappointed. Zlatko, Sergio, all of his country and his childhood idol Zvonimir Boban who was in the auditorium.” “Bunny!” That made Luka yank his head around, it woke him up from his thoughts. He turned to see Sergio smiling at him showing him to calm down. So the time came for the team of the year, where Sergio, Raphael, Marcelo and Luka were chosen. Sergio hugged thightly when they went to get the award. “You’ll get it, don’t worry.” Luka wanted to kiss Sergio so bad, but it wasn’t possible and it was killing him. And then the time came and Luka was announced the winner. The Best FIFA Men’s Player. He was smiling from ear to ear. He came to the stage and he heard his fans from Croatia yelling his name with so much love and thankfulness. He saw Zidane smiling at him, he saw Marcelo recording him and Sergio clapping and winking at him. “Good evening everyone.” He knew his speech will going to be long, but he didn’t care he had to say everything that was on his mind. “It’s a great honor and a beautiful feeling to stand here with this amazing.” He touched the trophy still not believing it’s his. He congratulated Mo and Cris, which was hard, hard thinking about him in front of so many people. “This trophy is not just mine, it’s for my Real Madrid teammates, for all my teammates from Croatia national team, for all coaches that I had played for, without them, this really wouldn’t be possible.” Everyone started clapping. “This trophy is also for my family without who I wouldn’t be the player and person that I am.” He thought of his parents and other family, but he also looked at Sergio. It made his heart feel warm seeing him smile. He thanked his fans for the support and for the voters. Then he thanked Boban, his childhood idol who made him believe anything is possible and he hoped he can be like that for the next generations. After everyone ended clapping, Luka still trying to stop his tears wanted to say something in Spanish and Croatian. (okay I really don’t know Spanish so I’ll ship that part, I’m so sorry). After he said everything in Spanish he started in Croatian which made Boban cry and Luka felt few tears in the corner of his eyes. “Volio bih pozdraviti moju Hrvatsku, kakvo smo samo prekrasno ljeto imali, hvala vam na predivnim emocijama, uživali smo, hvala vam na iskrenoj podršci, šaljem vam velike pozdrave.( I would like to say hi to my Croatia. We had an amazingly beautiful summer, thank you for all of the beautiful emotions, we enjoyed it. Thank you for your honest support and I am sending you my kindest regards.) Sergio didn’t understand any of it. But he felt Luka’s emotion which made him feel tears on his cheeks. They arrived at the hotel late at night. They were kept at the venue for so long because of all of the interviews and pictures and so on. Luka was so tired and happy at the same time. He smiled at everyone really truly and honestly. The hotel room was the comfiest thing as soon as Luka laid on the bed. He felt his phone ring and he didn’t want to answer the messages now. He was too tired for that. Sergio came to the bed to take Luka’s coat and shoes. He saw Luka’s phone hanging out of the coat so he took it out to put it on the night stool next to the bed. The phone lit up when Sergio put it down and it showed a message from Cristiano. “Congrats love, maybe we can finally reunite here in Juventus and be happy again…” Sergio felt all of the emotions at once. He felt anger the most. And sadness. Yes he felt the sadness, the feeling of losing Luka to Cristiano was the scariest thing he could think of. He was looking at Luka who was falling asleep. As much as he just wanted to wait for the morning to talk about this, the words just started pouring out: “What the fuck is this bullshit?” Luka suddenly turned his head towards Sergio and looked confused at him. “What the actual fuck? Him. After everything?” Luka saw the message, he took the phone from Sergio’s hand and read the message. He read it over and over until Sergio snapped again: “Well? Do you have anything to say?” “I do, I actually do. I love you. And I already said no to him. He is just stubborn and you know that. And you know I love you. I hope you know it.” Sergio looked at Luka who started shaking. His hands trembled so much that his phone fell out of his hands. Sergio remembered how upset Luka was after Cristiano ignored him, after he just left for Turin not even talking to Luka before it. Sergio went to the bathroom. At this point he couldn’t look at Luka because he knew he would do something dumb. He started sobbing. Tears just started rolling down his cheeks. Luka knocked on the bathroom doors and after not getting an answer he just started talking. “I know you don’t believe me, I wouldn’t believe myself either if I was on your place. But I can show you the messages, I can do anything.” Sergio was still crying. He couldn’t stop, and now Luka felt tears down his cheeks too. “This was supposed to be an amazing night. I had so much planned as your reward for this night and being so brave there…” Luka sat on the floor with his head placed on the doors. It was hard listening to Sergio talking through sobs. “You know, I would believe you. I wouldn’t even care, but you already cheated, twice.” Luka wanted to say something, but he didn’t. There was no excuses for what he did in the past. “I would never do anything like that to u.” “Yeah, I know those stories.” Luka heard the bathroom doors unlock and he jumped to his feet. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t do anything, we just talked and I said it will not happen.” Sergio just pushed Luka aside. He picked up his stuff and went to the door. He opened the doors and stopped there for a second. “You know, you could’ve just told me. I would make him stop. But you didn’t… I love you Luka, you never realized how much and maybe it’s too late now.”


	9. CHAPTER NINE

Sergio took the plane back to Madrid immediately after the fight he had with Luka. Maybe he was being selfish or childish, but he couldn’t stand travelling with Luka the next day and all of the curious questions from their friends. It was 3:00 am when he came to the airport. His gates were opening in half an hour so he had time to go to the bar. He ordered a drink and then another one and another one. He was already a bit boozed up when he sat in the plane. He got some cocktails and food in the plane which he drank straight up. He thought, maybe all of the pain he felt will just go away. Away with the drinks, but it just hurt more. As they landed, Sergio went to his house and he knew Luka won’t be there for another 3 or 4 hours so he found some strong drinks they had in the house and started drinking. He knew they had training in the evening, but at this point he wasn’t even thinking of stopping. Every drink he poured tasted even more like pain than the previous. The clock showed 8:00 am and Sergio’s stomach couldn’t take anymore alcohol. Luckily enough, the bathroom was so close to him so he threw up just into the toilette. He flushed it and sat on the floor. He started crying again. What if he was just overreacting? But he knew what he had seen. It wasn’t his mind playing tricks with him. He realized Luka was soon coming home so he took his training stuff and just went out. He went out to the city, sitting around bar’s and trying to forget that he will have to face Luka just in few hours. In the meantime Luka came to the house at about 10:00 am. He saw Sergio was here. He came to the kitchen which was all messy and he saw empty bottles of alcohol on the kitchen counter. He sighed. He knew what Sergio did. Sergio never drank, but when he was sad and angry to that extend that he starts drinking than Luka knew it was serious. He cleaned up the bottles and unpacked his tiny suitcase. He also unpacked Sergio’s suitcase, from fear of Sergio leaving him. He also realized there are no Sergio’s training stuff which meant he will show up to the training. Luka sighed again, this time it was a sigh of relief. It was 12:00 pm when Luka got a call from Marcelo. “Hey, the training is moved to 3:00 pm so don’t be late, can you tell that to Sergio too? He isn’t picking up my calls.” Luka smiled thinking about Sergio, he almost even confirmed he can say that to Sergio but then he remembered. “I don’t know where us he. His training stuff is not here. I’ll try to call him but he won’t pick up my calls for sure.” “Oh what? What the fuck happened now? What did he do? Luka tell me I’ll kill him.” Luka knew Marcelo was the only one actually not scared to fight Sergio. “No, it’s my fault, I just should have told him, fucking Cristiano.” Marcelo stopped breathing. “You didn’t cheat on him? Luka no.” “No, oh God no, I love him so fucking much my heart can’t even take it.” “You’ll tell me everything today while we’ll be warming up, this is just getting too much.” Luka agreed and hung up. He started walking around the big house. This wasn’t even his house, it’s Sergio’s house so why did HE leave. He was supposed to just kick Luka out, but he left, he went somewhere. Luka was sad, but he understood where Sergio was coming from. Luka did actually cheat on Bale and then even on Cris. It was a dick move from him, but he felt this is it. He knew Sergio won’t believe it but he couldn’t wait for the training so he can finally say sorry for the 10th time and tell him again what he really means. Luka tried to sleep a bit before the training because he didn’t get much sleep the night before. He was just turning around in his bed that was way too big just for him. It still had Sergio’s scent all over. Luka arrived at the training on time, but he looked drained, with huge shades on his eyes to hide his bags under his eyes which were big. He went into the dressing room and he saw Sergio still wasn’t there. It worried him. Sergio was always on time, they usually arrived at the Bernabeu together and they always arrived first. Luka searched for Marcelo when he dressed in his training clothes. “Luka, where the fuck is he?” “I have no clue. Did you get him on the phone?” Luka was the most worried out of them all. “Yeah I did, he said he’ll be here on time. Where is he???” Luka had no idea where he could be. He was sacred he didn’t do anything stupid. He would blame himself forever if something happened to him. The training started and there was still no sight of Sergio. Solari started getting pissed off. “Luka! Where is Sergio? Do you know?” Luka just nodded his head in a no sign and shrugged his shoulders. After half an hour of training Sergio showed up looking wrecked. He ran up to the boys and just pretended like nothing happened. Solari took him to the side and everyone heard when he started yelling at him. Sergio came back to the training pitch and started running. Marco decided to go talk to him, he looked at Marcelo and Luka who were deciding who will go talk to him and just rolled his eyes. “I’ll do it.” He ran up to Sergio and started talking without any hesitation. “What the fuck Sese? Troubles in paradise?” Sergio looked at Marco and nodded slowly. “Well I don’t care. We and Solari shouldn’t suffer because of your fights. And besides Luka showed up on time.” Sergio stopped and pulled Marco to the side. He told him everything that had happened. Marco listened and listened and he understood that Sergio was hurt. “Look I get it, but you can’t be that impulsive. You should listen to him and not just leave. That is just stupid.” Sergio realized he should listen to Luka, but he was scared. What if something really happened between him and Cris and what if Luka confesses is. It will just break his heart into million pieces. After the training, Marcelo took Sergio by a sleeve and pushed him into a small bathroom. “You are going to go and listen to what he has to say to you. You will go and you won’t be impulsive or aggressive, you will just listen. Okay?” Sergio looked at Marcelo with eyes full of tears. He didn’t want to crash down there and then but he had to. “I just don’t know how to react to stuff like this. I love him so much and if he and Cris had something while we were together I will literally die, and then I will fly to Italy and kill Cris.” Marcelo chuckled a bit and then hugged Sergio. “Listen to me, just go there, take him home and just listen to him. Please. Do it for me, do it for your best friend Marcelo.” Sergio smiled and tightly hugged Marcelo. “Thank you.” After the training Luka stormed out of the dressing room and went to his car and went home. Sergio knew they had to talk so he went straight to their house. Maybe it will be a disaster, maybe it will solve all of their problem. Who knew? But it was worth a try. The biggest scare for Sergio was if Luka really did cheat on him, because that will break his heart. Sergio stopped the car in front of his, now theirs house. He sat in the car for at least 10 minutes just trying to picture every situation in his head. He stepped out of the car and took the keys out of his pocket. He stepped in front of the door and as he wanted to unlock the doors he realized the doors were already unlocked and Luka basically left them opened. For him? He hoped that was the reason. “Luka?” Sergio stepped inside the house. HE closed the doors behind him and went to the living room. “Sergio?” He heard Luka’s confused and almost trembling voice. “You came home?” He said while wiping tears from his eyes. Sergio came closer to him and took him by the hand. At the touch of the stronger hand, Luka felt safe, he felt the spark between them, he felt the love. Sergio hugged Luka as soon as they sat on the couch. Luka looked at Sergio, inhaled deeply and started. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you and nothing of this shit would happen. I am so sorry, I am so stupid and I know it’s hard for you to understand me. I know I am fucked up, I mean I cheated on my boyfriend and then I cheated on that man with another man, I am fucked up. But you understood me, or at least I felt like you did. And that was enough for me. But if you think you can’t handle this it’s fine. I want everything that is best for you.” Sergio looked at Luka with eyes full of tears. He loved Luka so much and it was so hard for him to say anything at this point. “I just want to know one thing, do you still love him?” Luka was a bit taken back by this question. How was he supposed to answer this. He knew exactly what he felt for Sergio and for Cris, but how to explain it to Sergio. He loved Sergio, he loved him. That was it, it was a true feeling of love. But he always had a special place in his heart for Cris, because he was there for him, exactly like Sergio was, he was there. He couldn’t just forget about it and he never will. But how to explain that to Sergio. “I love you Sergio, but..” Sergio stood up from the couch and moved Luka’s hand out of his. “No, no this is not what I’m here for. Your answer can be just a simple yes or no. Stopped going around the question. I just want to know, do you..” “I do! But not the way I love you. It’s not that simple.” Sergio went to his room and took a big bag from under the bed. He returned downstairs and handed the bag to Luka. “I see how it is. Listen, we will take a break, just until you get your feelings straight and then when you see how it is with yourself then you can come back.” Luka took the bag and ran to their room. He started pushing stuff from his closet into the bad while he felt big tears falling down his face. He came downstairs and as he went to hug Sergio, Sergio stopped him and said: “We are over. For now.” Luka felt like someone ran him over with a truck. He opened the doors observing Sergio and, now just his house for the last time and exited. Sergio waited for Luka to leave and then he just fell. He fell on the hard floor and cried. He just cried at the thought of sleeping alone that night.


	10. CHAPTER TEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i maybe snapped

It was hard for Luka to be calm. He was thinking about Sergio every day, he was playing with him every day, training with him, seeing him. Maybe it was even harder the fact that they had to act normal in front of others. Luka was hurting inside, he felt the weight of it all and he wasn’t able to concentrate on anything. Real’s season was getting worse by every game and Luka felt like it was his fault. He probably knew it wasn’t but he had to have some excuse to run away from there because he had to recover. His mental state was getting worse and worse. He felt like he was going insane with every day passing by. Every time he saw Sergio taking off his shirt, or just seeing him run on the pitch made Luka feel things he wasn’t supposed to. Especially in these circumstances. He wanted to tell Sergio he loves him and everything is a done thing with Cris… But something was stopping him. And that bothered him. What was wrong with him, why, why is his mind and heart playing tricks with him. But then he decided, the offer came like a call from heaven and he knew it was the right thing to do. He knew it will be the hardest decision of his life, but he knew he needs to do it. As soon as he got a call from Mila, he said he is seriously considering the offer and that he is interested in coming to Milan to see what’s the deal and to talk everything through with the coach and the managers. Luka was sitting in his old apartment in his room, two days before leaving for Milan. He didn’t say anything to his teammates. He will tell them, the next day, so they can’t do anything about it. Luka started going through his phone, he started looking at the pictures of him and his teammates, his friends, his family. He saw all of their beautiful faces and all of the smiles. He remembered all of the good and fun times they had, he remembered all four UCL’s they won together, he remembered all of the late nights with Gareth, who took their break up amazing and they stayed amazing friends, Cris comforting him and in the end he remembered Sergio. He remembered all of the days they spent together, lately closer than ever before, he knew it will be the hardest to say goodbye to him, to the one person he, maybe, loved the most. He left his phone on the small stool next to his bad and tried to fall asleep. It felt like an impossible mission. On the other part of the time there was Sergio, in his big house, alone. He felt the big empty space crawling up onto him, he felt like the emptiness will swallow him. Maybe it wasn’t just the empty space that made him feel that way, it was probably the sight of Luka’s stuff still being all over the house, his scent still spreading around like he was there, like he will come out of the bathroom with towel wrapped around his waist saying something sweet and flirty at the same time. Sergio really missed him, he felt he needed him. But he was persistent, he was not about to let Luka come back without seeing what he really feels. It was hard for him to even think about Luka really still feeling something, not just something, but love towards Cris. The training was early the next day. Everyone came right on time which made Luka feel good and sad at the same time. He was happy he will be able to announce his big news to everyone at the same time, but he was sad because those were the news it will crush them. Luka put on his training shirt and when everyone else went out to the training pitch he called Solari in to ask him if it’s okay to tell everyone else. Solari knew about the situation, he was crushed to let Luka go, but he saw how unhappy Luka was and how unmotivated was he while playing the games. Luka, before going to the pitch, went to the bathroom and splashed his face with water and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked drained, with his messy hair and bags under his eyes. He exited the bathroom and the dressing room and went to the pitch. His teammates were still not running, so it was the perfect opportunity for him to tell them everything. “Hey, guys, I have some important news I would like to share with all of you.” Most of them turned around towards Luka and started listening. “This will probably come as a shock to all of you and I want you to know this is my own decision, no one told me to do this or pushed me out, this is what I decided is the best for me and my health at this point of my life.” Sergio pushed through the rest of his teammates to come closer to Luka. “I’m transferring to Inter in winter.” It struck all of them like a lightning, especially because Luka never even mentioned transferring and now this. Sergio felt pain all over his body, he felt pain and he was unable to shake it off. “I am going to Italy tomorrow to see their managers and coaches and to have a medical exam and I should move there while the winter transfer window will be opened.” All of his teammates stood there in front of him in total shock, speechless to say the least. Sergio felt tears gathering in the corner of his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. He sucked it up and came to Luka, he shook hands with him and said: “Congrats brother, I wish you all the luck there.” Luka stood there in front of Sergio, he felt vulnerable and scared of this stranger in front of him. Who was the person that just congratulated him, who was the person that just called him brother, who was he. He was the person who was just a month ago laying in the same bed with Luka, naked and called him bunny. Luka felt his heart shredding to pieces and he knew it was the right decision. He went to the dressing room and waved off to Solari that he will go home. Solari nodded because he knew Luka felt awful. Luka heard someone coming in after him and he secretly wished it was Sergio, but it wasn’t. “Luka what kind of bullshit is this?” Luka looked at Marcelo’s lost and pale face. “What are you doing? You’ll regret it, you aren’t thinking straight, please stop it.” “I’m sorry Marcelo, I’m going there tomorrow and after that it will just paperwork and then it will be a done deal.” Marcelo started crying, it wasn’t aggressive or hysterical, just soft sobs. He hugged Luka and whispered: “I will miss you so much, how am I supposed to go a day with Sergio without you.” Luka chuckled and hugged Marcelo ever tighter. He will really miss his friends, he knew it will be hard, but he didn’t know it will be this hard. “Look, I’m going home now, I have to pack and I’m leaving tomorrow, I’ll see you in a few days, it’s not like I’m gone from tomorrow, you will still have to see me every day for two more months.” Marcelo smiled and waved Luka while he was running off to the training pitch again. After he came home, he packed a few shirts and some pants and he just rested for the rest of the day. He didn’t feel like going anywhere or doing anything because he knew it will remind him too much of Sergio. He just didn’t want to feel that pain again. He walked around the house with his phone in his hands and he thought of calling Sergio, he thought of telling him sorry for everything and just beg to come back but he didn’t. Maybe it was because he felt something for Italy, or maybe for someone there. Maybe he was really going there just because of that one person that would be 2 hours away from him. He wasn’t really sure of his feelings anymore, but he was sure he will be leaving for Italy tomorrow and nothing can stop him. He woke up early, got his stuff and went to the airport with a taxi. At the airport he boarded on the plane pretty quickly and after a short plane ride he was there. Milano, Italy. It was really beautiful city, he observed it and soaked in all of the details of the streets he could see. He knew this will be his new home from the winter. It scared him, moving from Madrid to here. Maybe because it’s all new, but maybe because he will be alone. Technically he has amazing friends in Milano. Pero, Broz and Šime were all there, but he won’t have someone to hold him at night, to whisper sweet nothings, to cuddle with him. Luka felt heaviness on his heart again, but he brushed it off as they arrived to the big San Siro stadium. All of the talks went well and the exam too. They were happy with Luka and his health. They gave him all of the paperwork he has to work on in Madrid with his coach and other people. They said he can still change his mind until the end of the transfer window in January. Luka nodded thanked them and left the huge stadium. He knew he wouldn’t change his mind, but he liked the fact that he had time to think about it if something changes. He rested in his hotel room for the rest of the day, he was too tired to go out and explore the city, he decided he will do that tomorrow, he had all day because all of the work was done. He called up Šime on face time and he answered pretty quickly. “Hey brate, what’s up?” Luka smiled at the sight of Šime and Broz in someone’s living room playing PlayStation. “Well, I’m currently here in Milano, maybe we should go out tonight.” Šime stopped playing the game at that point, he slapped Broz so he stopped the game and joined the conversation. “Why are you here? Wait are you transferring?” “Maybe, I am really not supposed to..” “Oh My God, this is definitely one of the best things I’ve heard all week.” Broz smiled at Šime and said: “Maybe we should really go out, I know a place, I’ll call Perja too, God, we haven’t seen you in a long time.” Luka nodded and asked about the address, they told them and they agreed about the time. After Luka ended his call with Šime he realized he has a missed call. He called back without even noticing who called him. “Hello honey.” Luka was shocked after he heard the voice on the other side of the line. “And what do you want?” Luka really didn’t have nerves for that. “Well I just saw you are in Italy, so I thought, oh maybe I should drive to Milano to finally see you.” Luka smiled, but frowned quickly after. “What the fuck Cris? I am currently split from my boyfriend because of things like this.” Cris seemed like he didn’t really hear what Luka said so he just continued. “Well I’m already here so I except you will show up on the address I just sent you in about half an hour.” He closed the line and Luka was confused, but again intrigued. Why is he like this, why can’t his feeling just choose one and not jump from one man to another. Luka hated himself for it. But he sat in a taxi and drove to the location he got. Because he really did miss Cris, as much as he hated to admit it. He arrived at the given location and it was this small restaurant. Luka hated the fact that Cris knew exactly what he wanted at the moment. Luka entered the restaurant and saw him, he looked the same as before, amazing. Luka approached the table and sat down. “Hey.” He didn’t react much, he just observed Luka, in silence, like he was some kind of prey. “You look bad” Luka chuckled, “We haven’t seen each other in so long and that’s the first thing you say to me, classic.” Cris pulled Luka by the hand. “I am just trying not to kiss you.” Luka looked away, he wanted this so much, he wanted Cris to hold him, to kiss him and in the end fuck him like before, but he also wanted Sergio. He didn’t know how his brain is functioning. “Sometimes, I really miss you. I really wish I can feel your skin on my, your small body below me, your soft fingers intertwined with mine.” Cris looked at Luka and it felt real, Luka felt those words that came out of his mouth. “I know what you are feeling Cris, but at this point I just lost all of my trust towards you.” Cris let his stare fall to the floor, he lifted it up at the end of Luka’s sentence and said: “You’ll trust me again, I know that.” He pulled Luka even closer this time and kissed him. He kissed him long and truly, and Luka felt all of his emotions at once. Cris started talking quietly through their kiss “I am so glad you left him to come here.” As he finished that sentence Luka looked up at him and pulled out of his strong grab. “I’m sorry?” “What? Why did we stop?” “You really think I left him for you. That’s funny. I left him because we both need time to think everything through and I think I’m done thinking. This just proved me what I’ve been fearing all along. You are a total asshole. Why did I ever think you loved me. I am just a fucking trophy to you.” Luka was losing his temper and he stormed out of the restaurant. “Sometimes I wonder what I saw in you.” Luka finished his monologue and left. It left Cris shocked and literally speechless, this wasn’t the scared little fragile Luka he knew when he left Madrid.


	11. CHAPTER ELEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it becomes dark

Luka was pissed enough and he wanted to go out with his friends to calm down. He tried to calm down in his hotel room, but Cris’ words couldn’t go away from his mind. “I’m so glad you left him” Luka felt the heaviness of those words. He knew he missed Sergio, but those words made him think of it even more. Of him, of his touch, warm hands, his voice whispering in his ear. Luka felt tears coming to his eyes but he just couldn’t cry. He just couldn’t do it anymore. In that moment his phone started ringing. It was Šime asking if it would be cool if they move their night “out” to his house. Luka agreed that would be even better and when he hung up he started thinking about what he will wear. He also needed someone who knew everything what was happening to tell them what happened. He thought about his friends for a moment and he called up Marcelo. “Hey Luka, what’s up. How’s Italy?” Luka rushed the small talk and came to the big news as fast as he could. He told Marcelo what happened to every detail. Marcelo didn’t say a word while Luka was having a long monologue about how disgusting Cristiano is. “I really don’t know what got into him. I mean he was always a bit double sided, but this is just being mean.” “I don’t know what to do. Do I just ignore his messages, because he sent me a lot of them.” Marcelo sighed and Luka felt his long eye roll, “Of course you ignore him, what the fuck Luka? I’ll try and call him and see what the fuck is wrong with him and you calm down and go out, or go see your friends. But just don’t think about him. Or Sergio.” Luka thanked Marcelo for all of the advices and hung up. He quickly dressed up in some random shirt and pants and went out. He gave the taxi driver Šime’s address and just sat in silence the whole ride. Šime lived in an apartment. It was in one of those older buildings that looked weary from the outside, but you know it will be all beautiful, big and modern apartments inside. Šime’s apartment was on the 7th floor, which was pretty high for an old building. It had big rooms and it was bigger than Luka expected. Especially considering Šime lived alone. His room was actually the most impressive part, it was the biggest room in the house and his bed was SO big. Luka exactly knew why and it made him laugh at Šime which made Šime blush. Šime prepared some small bites of cheese and prosciutto for them. Broz enjoyed the food so much he got the whole trey and brought it to the couch where he sat down and didn’t get up the whole evening. Šime, Luka and Ivan were sitting on the bar stools in the kitchen at first. “So, moving to Inter? Unexpected? Especially now that you won all o these awards.” Ivan was looking at Luka under the eye and Luka just turned his head and started nodding. “I know it’s weird, but I don’t know… I just need a change in my life.” Luka didn’t want to tell them everything that had happened. At least not yet. Because that whole situation was too much for him to comprehend at that point and it was nowhere close to being finished thing. So Luka just turned the conversation around and started asking them about their lives. “So, what’s up with you guys. I’m not the only important here.” “Šime is finally happy in a relationship.” Broz yelled from the couch where he was still stuffing his face with the cheese. “Fuck you,” Šime mockingly yelled at Marcelo. “Sometimes I really want to punch you.” Broz laughed at that and yelled. “Funny, you punching me.. I would like to see that.” Šime blushed again and as Luka’s eyes found his face he turned his head around. “So you and…?” Luka raised his eyebrows and looked at Šime who was still trying to “hide” his expression. “Yeah, me and Dejan. We are a thing now.” Luka smiled, it made him think of Sergio and he hated it. The night progressed and they had amazing fun and they caught up on everything that had happened in their lives, even though Luka still didn’t say anything about his situation with Sergio and Cris. It was already one am when Ivan and Broz decided it was time to go, Luka agreed and wanted to go too, but Šime asked he to stay and to sleepover. Luka was confused at first, but he agreed because it was Šime and he knew Šime wouldn’t want him to stay without a reason. After Ivan and Broz left Luka sat on the couch, where everything was fuul of crumbles because of Broz. Šime sat next to him, took one big pillow and put it between his legs . “I need someone to talk to about Dejan.” Luka looked at Šime, with confusion in his eyes. “What?” “Please Luka, you are gay, you will understand it, I can’t talk about these things with them.” Šime pointed at the doors like Ivan and Broz were still there, but he knew they were long gone. “That makes sense.” Luka smiled and waved with his hands that he is listening. He took his glass of wine and leaned on the coach. “Sometimes, I really think this will last forever. What I feel when we are together, those are not normal feelings of liking or even loving someone. I feel like a whole new, better person next to him, is that weird?” Šime was clearly daydreaming about Dejan. Luka saw how bad Šime wanted Dejan next to him. “When he is hugging me, my whole body feels like it will spark up and burst out of happiness and… Oh And what he does to me in bed… “ Šime rolled his eyes to represent the pleasure. “I feel really weird having only straight friends here and I’m sorry if I’m boring, just stop me.” Luka didn’t stop him, because everything he head said made him think about himself with Sergio. He knew exactly what Šime felt next to Dejan, because that was just what he felt with Sergio and he knew, Oh he knew how much he loved Sergio together with him in theit big bed in THEIR house. Luka looked at Šime and hugged him. “Thank you for this, I actually needed this, You don’t know how much.” Šime looked at Luka confused, but he smiled and returned the hug. Luka knew what he supposed to do and he had to do it immediately the next day. He woke up too early, especially because he fell asleep too late. Everything was a bit blurry, but he got out of the bed quickly and dressed up and took his jacket. He left the guest room tidy and he made the bed and went to the kitchen. He took an apple from the big glass bowl from the counter and found a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote Šime a message: “You really need to call me more often, if Dejan fucks up something I am expect that I’ll be the first one to know. You guys are the cutest and stay like that.” He left in a hurry and went to his hotel. He gathered all of his things and packed it in his bag. He left the hotel and stopped the first taxi he saw on the street. He got to the airport sooner than expected and he ran to the counter where tickets were being sold. “When is the next flight to Madrid?” Luka said while panting and collecting his stuff. “There is one in an hour, there is a few seats left..” “Okay please give me the ticket for that.” Luka was in Madrid in 3 hours. He came home around four pm and he just missed the training. He wanted to go talk to Sergio, to say he is sorry, to say he loves him. But he wasn’t sure where Sergio was at that moment. He was so certain in is decision, this was it, he knew he loved him and he doesn’t feel anything towards Cris. Luka felt how tired he was the moment he sat on his bed. He knew he will fall asleep and he decided he needed sleep now. He just closed his eyes and dove into the deep sleep. On the other part of the town, there was Sergio, fucked up. Looking like literal death, moving slowly around his house. He didn’t know what to do with himself. The fact that Luka will go to Inter creeped in him more and more. And as much as he tried to press it in the back of his thoughts he just couldn’t. He decided alcohol is the best substance that will get rid of those thoughts. He went this car and drove off to a bar which was suspiciously close to Luka’s apartment. He sat inside for at least three hours. Every time a hot woman passed by he checked her out and pretended like he wanted to fuck her, but in reality he was just covering up his broken thoughts. He drank and drank, and this was becoming a habit. Drinking because of thoughts about Luka. It was already 1:00 am when he realized that he has a training the day after and that he should maybe go home to sleep. But while he was exiting the bar, he opened his phone and went through some news and on the cover of Marca with the biggest letters and the cutest Luka photo it said: “Luka Modrić bails on Real Madrid and goes to Inter?” It made Sergio furious, it made him feel betrayed. Alcohol kicked in and he was furious, he loved Luka and now he is leaving like some kind of a brat. Leaving because he couldn’t get what he wanted immediately. Sergio sat into his car and drove to Luka’s place. It was a miracle he arrived safely. He entered Luka’s building because he still had a key from long ago when Luka gave Sergio the keys for days when he needs to chill off alone. He entered the house and saw Luka getting out of the bed. “Sergio, I was just about to call you, I..” And then he felt a strong hand on his face, but this time, not striking his hear, he felt a manly punch in the cheekbone. He let out a sound he never knew he had in his body. “That is for transferrin without telling me.” Sergio was yelling. He struck again, this time he pushed Luka into the wall. What once was their sex game now became a full fight scene. Luka hit his head against the wall and fell to the floor. “Sergio, what…” “That is for leaving me now and leaving to Italy.” And the last time, he came closer to Luka and lifted his head and punched him in the eye. “And that is for still loving Cris after everything he did.” Luka was laying on the floor, bloody, looking half dead with is head hanging over his shoulders. He tried to get up and get paper towel to wipe some blood from his place, but he just couldn’t. When Sergio saw what he did, he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. “Luka, no let me help you, what the fuck came over me, Luka, look get this tissue.” Luka looked at Sergio, as much as he could with one eye practically closed, “DO you think I will be able to forget about this?” Sergio came closer to Luka pushing the tissue in his hand. “Go away.” Sergio felt those words cut through his chest like a knife. “No Luka let me help you.” “GO AWAY. If you don’t move away, I will call the police.” Sergio smiled and started wiping blood from Luka’s face. “Do I look like I’m joking?” Sergio stopped and just sat on the floor in silence for a few seconds. “Please Luka, I love…” “Don’t you dare. You do not love me. If you do, you wouldn’t beat me, physically abuse me!” Sergio scooched over to Luka and as he wanted to wipe the blood again, Luka pulled out his phone and in a quick second he was calling someone. Sergio heard the person from the other side of the line and his blood stopped. “911 how can I hlelp you?”


	12. CHAPTER TWELVE

“I’ll go away, just stop.” Sergio tried to stop Luka, but Luka didn’t hang up. “My boyfriend pushed me and punched me. I was attacked.” Luka said in pretty calm and collected voice, but his body was still trembling. “No, Luka stop!” Luka didn’t even flinch at Sergio’s yelling, he just thanked the lady at the end of the line and hung up. “They’ll send someone. I had to do that.” Sergio was furious, but he knew he deserved it, he knew he fucked up and he just waited for something like this to happen. There is now turning back now, asking for second chances. “Luka, I love you, this is ridiculous, we are both fucked up and…” “Both of us?! I mean, yes, but you fucking punched me Sergio and not just once.” Sergio was ugly crying, even sobbing, but Luka wasn’t letting his guard down. Maybe because he was too hurt to even cry or break down. Sergio was trying to calm down, because he knew he will have to talk to the police so maybe he was supposed to get himself together. Luka started walking around the house and he finished up in the bathroom where he looked at himself in the mirror. His cheek was bloody and his left eye was just starting to get a big black eye and it was very swollen so he wasn’t able to see clearly. But this time, he felt pain and he felt he was broken from inside out, but he didn’t cry, he didn’t fall down. He looked at himself in the mirror and came back to the living room. Sergio was now sitting on the couch and just looked at his hands. He still couldn’t believe what he did and he was terrified to find out what will happen now. They both turned to the doors when they heard the loud knock on the door. “Police! Open the door.” Luka walked to the doors, inhaled and opened them. “Hello, did you call 911, about..” “Yes, yes I did.” Police entered the apartment and they saw Sergio sitting on the couch and one of the policemen looked at Luka once again and then turned to see Sergio. “I’m- This-“ The older policeman looked at the younger one with a confused face. “Luka Modrić and Sergio Ramos.” The younger one whispered loudly so Luka and Sergio could clearly see he was one of their fans. “Shut up. So what happened here?” The older guy shut him off and continued to investigate. “This was all a huge misunderstanding..” “No, no it wasn’t. I think you can see how serious it is by the state of my face.” Sergio took another look at Luka and just now realized what he has done. It was worse that he thought it was. “No, it was by accident.” “It doesn’t look like an accident to me.” The younger policeman spoke up and looked at Luka once again. “Sir, we will need to take you to the station. You probably won’t stay in custody, but we have to take you with us.” Sergio looked at the policemen in true fear. He knew he couldn’t be taken to the police station, he knew people will know about it, he knew it will all get to media and his career could be ruined. He stood there in the middle of his huge living room and looked around himself. “What have I done?” He whispered through few tears that streamed down his face. “I know this could bring me even more troubles, but I’m begging you to just take this and go. I can’t let this go to the public.” Sergio went to get his jacket and searched for his wallet and took out around 5 bills of 500 euros. The older policeman fake coughed and came closer to Sergio. “I’m listening.” “Here is 2500 euros. I’ll give you all of it, but you won’t tell anyone about this and you’ll promise me this won’t come into the public.” The older guy took the money, put it into his pocket and said. “Okay, so sorry for the loss of your time, it seems like it was just a minor inconvenience” The younger guy couldn’t believe what he just saw, but he was quiet and they just left the house. Luka was watching the whole thing happen from the side of the room and he was shocked. He was all swollen and red and in pain and Sergio just did this, he just bribed the policeman so that HE wouldn’t get in trouble. “Luka I did this for us, so that people wouldn’t find out about us and all of this nonsense.” “No Sergio, you didn’t, you did this because you were scared for your reputation and for your name. And so what THIS comes out to the public. I love you so much, I would give everything for you, but I am just now realizing that you wouldn’t do the same for me.” Sergio didn’t say anything. He wanted to say it’s not true, but he knew somewhere deep inside he didn’t want to sacrifice his career. He went to get some frozen peas from the fridge to give it to Luka for his swellings. He came closer to Luka and wanted to put his on his eye but Luka snatched it from Sergio’s hand and put it on his eyes. He wanted to turn around and go be alone, he wanted to kick Sergio out, but he felt his hand on his and he didn’t. Maybe there was still too much love for Sergio inside of him, but he just couldn’t yell at him. Sergio held his hand and looked at Luka for a long time, he wanted to say something, he wanted to beg him to forgive him, but he couldn’t talk. He saw Luka’s swollen face, the red marks on his cheekbones and it broke his heart again. How was he even able to do something like that. He just couldn’t even remember the moments it happened, it felt like that was all a dream and he was just watching from the outside. He was so torn apart from all of that, that he couldn’t even let Luka’s hand go. He watched him want to move away, but he couldn’t let go. Because he knew if he lets go, he will probably lose him forever. But Luka pulled from Sergio’s grip and just started to move away from him. He just wanted for Sergio to take a hint, to let him be alone, for at least few days, he just wanted to be with himself. But Sergio didn’t see that, he just wanted forgiveness. “Luka, I am so sorry. Can you please forgive me, I won’t be able to live with myself if you don’t.” Luka stood still in the middle of his apartment and he just turned around slowly and then he just snapped. “You still believe I will forgive you. I maybe even will, at least I thought I could. I just wanted to be alone and I hoped you will see that and go away, but you have to ruin everything. Can you please take a hint and go, just go away, go to your big house and be alone, maybe you should think about what happened too.” Sergio wanted to cry, smash things and break something, but he was silent. He looked at Luka with just watery eyes. “I won’t be able to continue without you.” “Well, you were supposed to think about that before pinning me to the wall and punching me.” Sergio’s head fell to his chest. He took his jacket and left the apartment. Before leaving he turned around: “Good bye, I love you so fucking much.” Luka didn’t even flinch. Sergio closed the doors and he wanted to turn around, enter the house and just kiss him, probably for the last time ever. But he didn’t. He sat in his car. He turned it on so it got a bit warmer and then he had a job on deciding how to do it. How will he do the thing he was the most scared of doing. He started driving, still with a lot of alcohol in his blood. He was just driving towards nowhere. He was just driving. Maybe it was to get everything out of his system, to just drive until he is too tired to continue, but he knew it wasn’t for that. He was driving toward one big castle near Madrid next to a big lake. He recalled all of his moments with Luka for the last time, he just wanted to soak it in. All of his favorite moments, the moments he would give everything to get back, to relive them again, and to just stay in them forever. But he knew he couldn’t, he knew it was all over and he made a decision. And all of those beautiful memories just made hi believe in his decision even more. Because as much as he loved all of those moments, he knew it is all over and he knew he is the reason for that. The drive seemed longer than usual, it only took about 40 minutes to there, but it was really late at night so the trip was supposed to take even less. But the time was just not passing, like it was trying to stop him. Sergio finally arrived at his destination. He stopped his car right in front of the huge lake. He thanked God one last time for everything that he gave him, he asked for forgiveness for what he was about to do, and before getting to it he called Luka with an intention of him not picking up. He knew that would happen, but he needed to pour his soul out for the last time. And he needed to know Luka will be able to listen to it. “Hey love. I wanted to tell you I am sorry, for the last time. I am sorry for the abuse, I am sorry for trying to make it right afterwards even though I knew and I know I did such a bad thing.” He started sniffling, “Luka… Bunny… I love you so much, please know that, I am so sorry for everything, I hope you’ll find someone who will at least try loving you the same amount I did. I have to go now, I’m sorry our last time seeing each other will be in such a bad memory. I love you.” He finished the voicemail and he put his phone to the seat next him. He closed his eyes and sped up.


	13. CHAPTER THIRTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i promise the next chapter won't be as depressive as this one

Luka stormed through the hospital isles. He was alone, scared, sad and furious. At some point he started running without any common sense or knowledge where he is going to. He found some king of a counter where a kind woman forwarded him toward the second floor. “Trauma” it read above the huge doors he was supposed to come through. He found the “special care” department and found his room. He was standing in front of the doors for at least 15 minutes. He wasn’t waiting for anyone, he was just plainly sad and devastated. In one hand he was blaming himself for that, he knew he was the reason for what happened, but again in the other hand he knew Sergio was drunk, he wasn’t thinking straight and he was furious. After a while of just standing, he wanted to enter the room, but a tall man approached him. “ Hey, I’m sorry, you won’t be able to enter for at least 20 minutes, is that okay?” Luka sighed, but he was more than fine with that, he had more time to prepare himself for what he was about to see. “Can you please tell me what happened, they told me something over the phone, but I need details.” The doctor sighed and looked at Luka. “You know this was probably an act of trying to commit suicide?” Luka felt a tear escape his eye, he didn’t want it to happen, but it did, and he was unable to stop it. “I was hoping it isn’t true. It hurts more now when I hear it in my face.” “I’m sorry.” Luka started crying, but picked himself up pretty quickly and let the doctor continue. “So, he is in coma, and he will probably stay like that for now, we don’t know for how long. He has severe injuries and this was the best we could do.” Luka hugged the doctor. “You saved him, that’s the best you could do. Thank you.” The doctor returned the hug and said he will let him now when he will be able to enter the room.” Luka sat on the hard stool in the waiting room still trying to figure out his feelings. He didn’t have any perception of time, but it went by too quick, he just wanted to stay outside that room forever. The doctor gestured towards the room and Luka gathered all of the courage he could and entered the room. The scene wasn’t pretty, Luka just busted into tears as soon as he saw Sergio’s soulless body lying on the hospital bad. It was scary to look at him without any life in him. He was connected to as much machines as possible and Luka couldn’t look at him. He just cried. He found a chair to sit down because he felt his knees getting weak from all of the sobbing. He cried his whole heart out, he knew this will help him get his feelings straight, and it did. “How the fuck could you do this to me Sergio?! I know you can’t hear a word I am saying, but fuck you. I am scared for your life more than my own and you do this, you try to kill yourself… What kind of drugs did you use??” Luka was screaming, and as much as the doctor was supposed to stop Luka, he didn’t. Because he saw the pain, he saw the feelings pouring out and he let him get it out of himself. “Maybe, maybe I was overreacting, but… no! You fucking punched me, think about it, oh fuck you can’t, because you are half-dead, fuck you, fuck you!” Luka started crying so much that he fell from the chair to the floor, he didn’t even realize it. The inside hurt more, the feeling of guilt combined with sadness and angriness was the worst thing he ever experienced. He tried to calm down, but nothing, the tears were just going and going. At some point he heard someone entering the room, he didn’t see anything in front of him, everything was blurry from crying. “Luka, Luka, hey,hey it is okay, let’s go.” Luka tried to see who was that, but his eyes just gave up on him. “NO! I have to stay here, he can’t die, he can’t die without me being next to him, he hurt me so much, but I can’t just leave him to die alone.” “Luka he won’t die, he is just in comma, he will wake up, please Luka you have to go outside you will pass out.” The other voice was trying to calm Luka down, but Luka wasn’t letting go. He ran towards the bed, releasing himself from the grip of the other man. He took Sergio’s hand and just sat next to him. He was getting calmer, the sobs were getting smaller and the tears were lighter. He finally saw it was Marcelo. He was standing on the other side of the room, with few tears in corners of his eyes, shocked and sad to see Luka like that. “Luka, this isn’t good for you. We have to go outside, you can’t stay here. Not while you are like this, you’ll do something and no one would want that okay?” Luka was still holding Sergio’s hand, staring at his tattooed arms lying motionlessly on the while hospital sheets. He was scared, scared and sad. Marcelo moved closer to Luka. He sat next to him and took his other hand. We can come back tomorrow, or the day after, but you really have to go now. Look at yourself, this isn’t you. This is all too much for anyone to take right now, and especially for you.” Luka started nodding and he let go of Sergio’s hand as Marcelo was taking him out of the room. They went outside, into the cold air. Marcelo stood next to Luka while he was just looking at the sky, it was dark and gloomy. He was just standing, feeling the tears coming up again, they weren’t as aggressive as before, these were more tears of sadness and fear. Luka was so scared for Sergio. He knew what happened and he knew it was a bastard move from him to not tell him about Cris, because nothing happened and like this it seemed like something happened and he knew it was also a dick move from him to just make him leave and make them be separated. But he knew it was because he was hurt, and now it was all for nothing, for the past month they weren’t talking, they weren’t friends, they were just acquaintances saying hi to each other on the pitch. Luka hated that they wasted they maybe last days together. He just hated the fact that they fought, he just wanted those days back, those days after the world cup, the summer of his life, he just wanted that back, and not this bullshit. Marcelo was just looking at him, scared to talk, he didn’t know what to say, what to say to an already broken man. He knew Luka was already fucked up before all of this happened. He didn’t even want to ask about his swollen eye and bloody cheek. He didn’t want to know. But he knew he had to say something. “It’ll be okay.” Luka turned around and looked at Marcelo under the eyes. “No it won’t. Nothing is okay, nothing is working out how it was supposed to. I was just supposed to go away and forget about everything, but now this happens, THIS?!” Luka was again getting mad, this time there was no tears just pure fear and anger. “What do I do if he dies? I won’t be able to live with myself, and if he wakes up, I don’t know how will I forgive him, for this and all of this.” Luka pointed at his face, after which Marcelo gasped and covered his mouth with his hand. “He did that, how, what?” Luka just gestured like it was nothing. “No, don’t worry, I’m fine, it was dumb of him, but he was drunk…” Marcelo cut off Luka, “No, don’t you justify him, he hit you, Luka that is serious shit.” Luka nodded, but still told Marcelo it isn’t serious. Marcelo took Luka to his car. “Listen to me now, drink this water, and eat something and wait for me here in my car, I’ll drive you home okay?” Luka nodded and took water from Marcelo’s hands. “I have to take care of something and I’m coming back in like 15 minutes. Don’t go anywhere, okay?” Luka nodded and entered the car.

Marcelo started rushing down the hospital isles. He came up to Sergio’s room and before entering he called the doctor up. “Hey, I’m sorry for his mental breakdown, there were really close.” “Oh no, no, it’s fine, I’ve seen worse things.” Marcelo looked a bit shocked, but brushed it off. “I’m sorry for one more thing.” He turned around and said: “I’ll yell now, I lot, so please just bear with me. And forgive me for the noise.” He opened the heavy hospital doors and entered the room. He felt heavy entering, he knew he feel pour al of his anger out in the open and he knew he couldn’t stop right now. “I know you probably can’t hear me, but if you can, listen to me. I love you Sergio, you are one of my best friend and what you did to Luka is unforgivable, I know, I know for a fact he would forgive you right now if you woke up, but I wouldn’t. He means to me as much as you do. And you can’t do that! You assaulted him, Sergio that what you did wasn’t okay, it’s far from okay. I know you were drunk, but that is no excuse. I want you to listen to me very patiently if you can hear me. This is a serious situation. You almost died, and there are still chances you could die. This, all of this bullshit, that you did to him and not just him, but all of us, and Santiago, and your fans, that is serious. And I know when you wake up… if you wake up, you will brush it off, like it never happened. I know you too good, so I’m telling you now, this is not something you’ll go around. You will probably have to go to therapies. And the saddest fact, he will have to go too. Sergio, as much as I love you and respect you, I am telling you, if you wake up, I don’t want to see you near Luka, I don’t want you to be near him, you will be teammates, that is it, you won’t be friends and especially not something more. That is the least I can do for him after everything.” Marcelo rushed out of the room, thanked the doctor and went to his car to drive Luka home. But there in the hospital bed, Sergio was still lying still and motionless. But when the doctor came to check on him right after Marcelo left, all he could see was a single tear escaping his eye and rolling down his cheek.


	14. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;)

December. First of December to be exact. It was getting colder day by day. It was early, too early, you could still feel the wetness in the cold winter air. Luka just packed his suitcase and was ready to leave. Alone. This time without his friends or… no he decided he won’t think about him. And he really tried not to, it was hard at first, especially when they called them that he woke up. It was about two weeks ago. Luka wanted to run to the hospital, he wanted to see him, feel him and kiss him, but Marcelo stopped him and Luka knew it was for his own good. But he was devastated at first. But he got it, he understood where Marcelo is coming from and why he isn’t letting him go there. So when Luka packed his suitcase, he called the taxi and went to the airport. He met up there with some people that were organizing the trip. He wanted to be happy, or at least look happy, but he wasn’t. And he couldn’t even pretend. He just sat in the plane, listening to some sappy, romantic music no one would ever listen to. They landed pretty quickly, and Luka was directed to go to his hotel. He arrived soon and as soon as he got to his room he realized how big it is. He never realized it before, how big the rooms they were getting were. It was because he used to share his room, he used to feel the presence of someone else next to him, he used to touch someone next to him and that was all he could think about. He walked around the huge room, touching every lamp, every small table, every wallpaper. He just wanted to feel presence of someone else, but he was alone. He sat on the bed and started consuming the loneliness around him. He was in Paris, he was supposed to go to the venue at least three hours earlier to find out if he got it or no, but there was no will in him. He knew what he was about to get, but he just couldn’t find the power in him to be happy about it. It seemed selfish, maybe it was selfish, but he just though about him, about him lying in that hospital bed all alone. Luka realized he was supposed to already be on the way to the venue so he started unpacking the suitcase and dressing up.

While Luka was getting ready for the huge ceremony, the biggest and most important one this year, Sergio was being let go from the hospital. He wasn’t supposed to train for at least a month, just in case of some complications, but he decided he is going to the training the day after. The doctors asked him who should they to come pick him up, but Sergio knew no one would come. “It’s okay, I can go alone.” Sergio was assuring the doctors he is okay, but they weren’t letting go. “Someone needs to drive you home, you can’t go alone and we can’t just put you in a taxi.” Sergio sighed and gave them a number they could call. It rang a few times and that someone picked up. “Hello, who is this?” “I’m sorry to disturb you sir, but your friend gave us this number, he said we could call you. He is being released today and someone needs to take him home.” The man on the other side of the line sighed, the doctor could hear the relief in his voice, but with a dash of anger. “Okay, let him know I’ll come in about half an hour.” Sergio was sitting in the waiting room when Marcelo arrived. He looked like he was dressing up in a rush and a bit down, but as soon as he saw Sergio, sitting and standing up he had to let a smile appear on his face. As much as he wanted to stay serious and have a look like on his face like he doesn’t care, he cared, he cared for his best friend and he couldn’t deny It just like that. When he saw Sergio stood up, he almost broke down, he ran towards him and into a big hug. “Slowly, I am still not strong enough to hold myself up and your fat ass.” Marcelo started smiling while few happy tears escaped his eyes. “Me? Fat? I don’t think so.” Sergio softly slapped him on the top of his head. He missed Marcelo, he missed his fluffy hair and his goofy jokes. “Can you walk alone, or am I supposed to give you a hand or something…” Marcelo loved seeing Sergio at least a bit helpless. He was always the strongest one in the group and this was the time where he could tease him endlessly. “Shut up.” Sergio smiled and they said goodbyes to the doctor and nurses and went to Marcelo’s car. Marcelo, as an amazing friend he is, left it on so it stays warm for Sergio. He helped him get in the car and then he entered the car too. “Are you sure you are okay?” Sergio nodded and asked for some water. Marcelo was one of those organized people that always had water and snacks in their car. He never seemed like that from the outside, but he was THAT person. It was always so funny to Sergio how organized his car was. “Do you want me to drive you home? Or do you want to go somewhere?” Sergio just wanted to go home and rest, he knew he is unable to see Luka today, he knew Luka was in Paris, but his tongue spoke faster and he couldn’t stop the words coming out of his mouth. “I wish I could see him.” Marcelo remembered what he told Sergio while he was in coma, and he was hoping Sergio didn’t remember it, he was hoping Sergio didn’t even hear it in the first place. It was just dumb things he never actually thought, but in the moment he said them and he still regrets it. “He is in Paris, I thought you knew.” “I know, I just wish for stupid things.” Marcelo stopped the car close to one of their favorite café bars, “I know you just want to go home and rest, I understand, but I think it’s important we talk. Especially because today Luka will win, I know that for sure, I’m just waiting for his confirmation and I know you’ll call him..” “I won’t” Sergio interrupted him, but Marcelo looked at him dead serious and continued. “You will, I know. Now come on, let’s get some coffee and just talk. You’ll feel better.” Sergio left the car and followed Marcelo inside.

Luka was glowing, the fact that he won the Ballon d’Or made him extremely happy. He thought his thoughts will stay gloomy all day, but when he saw the big, gold trophy in front of him, he just started radiating with happiness. It wasn’t so much the trophy, this was the best way he could wrap this year, after all of the things he won this was the last thing he needed, and it was at least a small bandage for his heart after everything. He took the trophy and just held it, still in disbelief. He got a message from his dad and mom after they found out he won. They were so heartwarming. Especially when he saw his dad tear up. It was all too much. As soon as he left the room to go get something to eat before the ceremony he texted Marcelo. It was a deal that Marcelo needs to find out first. He chuckled at the response he got. It was a voice message. “I told you so, fuck you, fuck you, you owe me a chocolate, haa fuck you. But I’m so happy for you. I hope you’ll let me touch it.” Luka was smiling and he almost forgot about Sergio, almost, but at the end of the voice message he heard someone’s voice ask something like “Is that him?” and he knew who’s voice that was, he knew very well. He heard that voice too much to forget about it, his happiness lowered. He thought about Sergio coming out of the hospital, he wanted to picture him sad and broken, but he knew that wasn’t Sergio. He was probably walking on his own and he is now probably already sitting next to Marcelo and drinking that same coffee they were drinking when they needed to come out of the house. Luka didn’t want to cry so he sucked it up and just went to the big room where they were serving food.

“Is that him?” Sergios’s voice trembled a bit just at the thought of Luka in his probably black suit being overwhelmed with joy. “Yes.” Marcelo said as he was putting his phone away. “He is doing fine, could be better, he wanted to come and see you as soon as they called us that you woke up. But I stopped him.” Sergio lifted his head up a bit and frowned. “He was broken, and that would have just break him even more. Believe me.” Sergio was still frowning and looking at Marcelo. “Are his bruises gone?” Marcelo looked at the floor and then back at Sergio. “Yeah, you didn’t break his cheekbone, thank God. We had to say such dumb things to the doctors.” Sergio was nervously playing with his tattooed fingers. “I love him Marcelo, I know you know that. And I need him back. I really need him back.” Marcelo sighed, “I know Sese, but he still sometimes calls me in the middle of the night to ask me did they get you out of the water. It was a big trauma, and not just for you, but for us too.” Sergio pulled up his sleeves and nodded. “So I am forbidden to see him. That’s nice.” Marcelo chuckled a bit and took a sip of his tea, “You’re not, but don’t rush it and let him make the first step.” Sergio wanted to take his phone then and there to call Luka, but he didn’t. He just continued talking to Marcelo, pretending he is okay.

Luka arrived home late, later than expected. It was about 2:00 AM when they landed and he arrived home about 2:30. He was exhausted. His cheeks hurt from smiling and he liked that, he haven’t had that feeling since a long time ago. He looked at his Golden Ball and almost started crying. It was just now getting real to him, how much this means. He finally took his phone out of his jacket and still in his suit and shoes laid on the bed and started scrolling through his notifications. All of them were just a bunch of ‘Congratulations’ or ‘Well deserved.’ He was looking for just one name in the bunch, he even passed by Cris’ message, because above it was an Instagram notification. “@sergioramos tagged you in a photo.” Luka was staring at his phone in disbelief. He found himself scared to open Instagram. He was like a little girl who’s crush just sent her a message. He clicked on the notification and the post opened. It was a picture of Sergio sticking his tongue out and Luka in the background on the big LCD screen. He didn’t know how to react, what to do. It seemed like such a ‘first world problem’ thing, but they haven’t talked since the night of the accident. Luka was just staring at his phone and trying to soak in the picture he just saw. It was 3:00 AM at his point and as much as he didn’t want to do what he did, he had to. “Hello, I didn’t you would pick up.” Luka didn’t get a response at first. He heard breathing on the other side of the line, but he felt Sergio was scared. Scared to talk, scared he would say something wrong. Luka was still holding his phone, waiting for an answer. Maybe this was too sudden for Sergio, but no, he posted that photo, he knew Luka would see it. Luka just wanted to hear a simple ‘hello’ or ‘hey’ and when he was about to hang up, he got so much more. “Hey bunny.”


	15. CHAPTER FIFTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

Luka froze, his tongue tangled and he forgot how to talk. This was all he wanted, this was even more. Luka just wanted to say something, anything, but he just couldn’t, the words weren’t coming out of his mouth. “Congrats.” Luka heard a soft, quiet word come out from Sergio’s mouth on the other side of the line. Luka needed to start talking. “Thanks.” That was all he was able to manage. He hated himself for it. “So… when are you coming back?” Luka wanted to stop this stupid small talk, but he just continued. “Oh I’m already home, just landed an hour ago.” Sergio’s heart started beating faster. He knew they will see each other the day after because he will come to just watch the training. “Oh, that’s great, we will see each other tomorrow then.” Luka’s heart stopped. Tomorrow? It was too early. He wasn’t even able to comprehend Sergio’s voice and now this. Seeing him, feeling his presence. It was just too quick? “What? How?” Luka blurted too fast and harsh. Sergio felt Luka didn’t want to see him. He felt it and his head started hurting. “Well I’m coming to the training.” Luka stood up from the bed and started walking around with his phone still in his hands. He turned off the mic and just started screaming, he wanted to throw his phone away, he wanted to die in the moment, he just didn’t want to see Sergio. He wasn’t ready, he knew he will break down, he will cause a scene and he didn’t want that. He turned the mic on again and started talking: “That’s nice. I hope you’re feeling better.” That was the fakest sentence he ever said in his life. He was waiting for Sergio’s answer patiently, but after just staring in the darkness for too long and not getting an answer he spoke up again. “So see you tomorrow.” And he just hung up. He felt heart ache, he felt it through his chest. He threw his phone on the other side of the bed and went to the bathroom to undress and finally fall asleep.

Sergio hated when Luka was mad, and especially after all that happened. He was sitting in his bedroom, alone, in that huge house, that wasn’t meant just for one person. It was meant for a family, a big happy family. It was soon Christmas time and it was looking like he will spend it alone. It was the worst thing that could happen. He just wanted one day together with Luka, just one day, and he wanted that day to be Christmas, but if Luka was going to continue being mad he won’t get anything. Sergio put his phone on the night stand and went to the kitchen to get some water and sleeping pills, because he knew there were no chances of him falling asleep on his own. After he took the pills, he laid on the bed, turned to the side where he still had a picture of him and Luka framed and fell asleep soaking in all of the details of Luka. He woke up early, too early considering he fell asleep around 4:00 AM. He opened the curtains and prepared some breakfast. He head was hurting pretty badly because of the sleeping pills. They always did that, but they at least made him sleep, which was the goal. He sat at the kitchen counter, reading some news on his big iPad and eating. He realized he should do his laundry and maybe do some chores around the house and then in a few hours go to the training. He didn’t know for who is he cleaning, but he just had a feeling he needed to do it, maybe he was just subconsciously hoping after the end of that day he wouldn’t be coming home alone. He turned on some music and tried to take himself back to the better times. To the times when Luka was in his hug, safe and tight, when Luka was in Real Madrid, when he was completely healthy and okay. That made him remember he had an appointment in the evening with a psychiatrist. It was a scary thought, going to therapies, maybe even getting and taking pills. But he dusted away the bad thoughts with some happy music and a lot of cleaning. A lot of his day went by quickly because of that and that was the goal. He saw on the clock it was soon 3:00 PM and he started getting ready for the training. He got in his training gear and started looking at himself in the mirror. He missed it. It was a long month in the hospital and he wasn’t training and it made him sad. He was happy just to see himself in the training outfit. He knew he had to rest for at least another two weeks, but just going to the training, going to the stadium made him feel better. He took all of his stuff and sat in the car. It was one of his other cars that he never took out, but had to now due to circumstances. As soon as he sat in the car, the bad memories caught up to him again, the moment he turned on the engine to do the thing every person on this planet fears most to do. He didn’t know if he’ll be able to drive. He just sat in the car in silence. But he said to himself: ”You’ll talk to Luka today, it is one of your biggest fears. Driving a car isn’t so bad, nothing will happen. You are going to the therapist later today, you’ll be fine.” He turned on the engine and it was scary as first, but he knew he’ll succeed. He drove to the stadium, not fast, not slow, and he liked it, it was a pleasant car ride. He arrived at Bernabeu right on time for the training. He entered the dressing room. Everyone was still dressing up and at the first sight of him there was a short uncomfortable silence, but after that every and each one of his teammates ran up to him and hugged him. “Hey, hey, slow down, I’m still a bit weak.” They all started asking him questions and they were all really happy he is back. Their captain is finally back. He was glad he could answer all of their questions, but he was a bit frustrated because he hasn’t seen Marcelo or Luka. When all of his teammates left the dressing room to go warm up for the training, he saw Marcelo’s big hair peering behind one big wall next to the terrace. He waited for a few minutes, and then Marcelo revealed himself and ran up to Sergio. “Are you better?” Sergio laughed and nodded. “I cleaned up my whole house, ALONE.” Marcelo kicked him softly in the shoulder, “Who are you and what have you done to my Sergio?” Sergio started laughing and slapped Marcelo on the back of his head. He started laughing and ran off to the pitch while waving to Sergio. Sergio heard the familiar voice behind the same wall Marcelo was behind. He heard the same voice he was hearing yesterday late at night, he heard he was talking to someone, so he just sat down and waited. He knew he had to be patient and he knew Luka maybe won’t even want to talk to him, but he had to be patient. And he was. He sat there for at least 10 minutes in complete silence, just listening to Luka and someone talking. Finally, Luka and Solari came up from behind the wall. Luka’s face was glowing, but when he saw Sergio, there was visible fear on his face. Sergio hated seeing Luka sad, angry or scared. And he saw all of these emotions in his eyes. “I’m so glad you are finally back. I hope you are feeling better.” Santiago hugged Sergio and started a small conversation with him about hospitals and in how bad conditions they are. Santiago waved to Sergio and went to the pitch. Luka was holding the Golden Ball in his hands. He walked slowly towards Sergio. He put the ball down next to the place where Sergio was sitting and started talking. “We’ll talk now. For real talk. Not like, whatever that was yesterday.” Sergio nodded and stood up and came closer to Luka. He felt Luka’s energy radiating, he saw his hands were trembling, but he didn’t do anything. He knew he had to take it slow and he will. They were at least a meter from each other and it looked and felt uncomfortable, but this was as close as Luka wanted to go. “Are you better?” Luka lifted his gaze at Sergio’s face waiting for an answer. “Yeah, it really sucked. The hospital and everything.” Sergio looked Luka directly in the eyes which made Luka look at the floor and start playing with his fingers. “Do you want to hold it?” Luka said referring to the ball and nodding towards it. Sergio wanted to break the slow small talk they were getting through. He just wanted to hold Luka, he wanted to absorb all of his fears and sadness and just sit like that for a long time. He moved closer and touched Luka’s fingers. At first Luka tried to escape Sergio’s grip, but as Sergio was moving closer and closer Luka just let it be. He relaxed his hands in Sergio’s and when Sergio was so close that he could feel his breath on his neck he felt a tear rolling down his cheek. “I’m so sorry, for everything. I can’t believe what alcohol can do to me. I know we will probably never work out, but you have to know how much I love you, and how much I missed you all of these days we were apart. And it hurt even more because I knew you hated me.” Sergio was cut off by Luka’s soft sobs in his shoulder. “I would never hate you. I was so broken when they called me. I was already in such a bad mood, with a broken face and they call me to tell me you almost died.” Sergio felt tears, but he sucked them in, he needed to stay strong, for Luka. “I fucked up, I fucked up badly, I am going to the therapist, I’ll be fine.” Luka hugged Sergio, under his armpits, like a huge teddy bear. He was still sobbing, now a bit harder. Sergio’s whole hoodie was wet from Luka’s tears, but he didn’t care. He was stroking Luka’s hair and whispering everything is going to be fine. Luka finally looked up at Sergio’s face. He faced the familiar, soft gaze. “I’m sorry.” “I love you” Luka blurted out finally and it made Sergio melt on the spot. He was holding Luka in his hands, but after that sentence his whole body became weak. He just wanted to lie in their bed, together, hugging forever. “I love you too, I love you so much, Luka you don’t even know how much I missed you.” Luka started tearing up again. “Stop you’re making me cry again.” He started chuckling. They realized how dumb they look, just standing in the middle of the dressing room, hugged, sobbing into each other’s shoulders. “I love you bunny.” Luka knew that word well enough, he knew that word too good to stay calm. He trembled a bit, but this time it was from happiness. Sergio hugged him even tighter and started talking again. “You know, there is not enough words to tell you how sorry I am, ugh, I feel so..” Luka cut him off quickly with the biggest smile on his face. “Just shut up and kiss me. It is the best apology I can think of.”


	16. CHAPTER SIXTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally a good chapter wow

Sergio wanted to make Luka a cute dinner. It was the least he could do for him. He turned on all of the candles in his house and prepared a beautiful dinner for him. It was simple Italian food , but Luka enjoyed simple. Luka enjoyed anything that was made out of love and from heart. He was a simple person, and he liked the idea of simple things. Sergio didn’t tell Luka anything.

They were just getting out of the training in the morning that day and Sergio, still not training, was waiting for Luka in the dressing room. Luka got out of the shower quickly and still talking to Marco and Isco, came out of the bathroom all dressed up. Sergio sighed a bit frustrated because he was hoping Luka would come out of the bathroom alone and still in his towel, but not all wishes can come true. Luka smiled at Sergio, and packed things in his organized bag. “So I was thinking, maybe you should come by my place tonight. I know it’s maybe too fast, but…” “I’ll be there. When?” Luka turned around to look at Sergio, who smiled at Luka’s response. “Eight? And you don’t need to bring anything.” Luka chuckled and kissed Sergio on the cheek. Sergio held Luka’s hand and took his bag from the bench. “I’ll escort you to your car.” Luka smiled and they started walking out. They were soon by Luka’s car, putting his bag on the back seat. Luka entered the car and Sergio bent to the window and put his hands so he blocked Luka from closing the window. “See you tonight.” He slipped in a quick kiss and then Luka turned on his car and drove away.

The dinner was ready, and Sergio wanted to take some time to get read and shower, but he realized there isn’t time for that. He ran to his room and searched for something good enough to wear in his closet. He was acting like a 14-year-old girl going to her first date, he was scared Luka wouldn’t like it, he was scared something will go wrong and he will fuck everything up. After he dressed up, he went to the basement to get the wine. He picked out Luka’s favorite wine and put it on the table, then he made the table, putting two plates on the opposite sides of the medium sized table. He found the black plates, they were his favorite, and he paired them with the black knifes and forks. He put to tall glasses next to the plate and wine glasses too and he went to the kitchen once again to check if the food got cold, and also to check on his dessert that was patiently waiting in the fridge. It was a small carrot cake Sergio bought that day after the training, because he was really an anti-talent for cooking. It was 7:45 PM and Sergio sat on the couch waiting patiently for Luka to arrive. He started getting panicky over his outfit. Is it too preppy or too sporty? He hated himself for overreacting so much, but this was so important for him and he wanted it to go smoothly. In the apartment on the other side of the big city of Madrid, there was Luka, tying his shoe laces and combing his hair, panicked same as Sergio. He didn’t know if he should bring something, he knew Sergio said not to bring anything, but it seemed rude to just come with empty hands. Luka put on a longer back shirt, the one he wore for the UEFA Awards. It was Sergio’s shirt and Luka knew that it was an amazing idea to wear it. He was walking around his house, not wanting to go. He was a bit scared, he knew Sergio wouldn’t do anything like THAT again, but he was scared. He opened up his phone to see a missed call from Sergio. He decided not to call back, he wanted to make him wait in suspense, he deserved at least a bit of pain. Luka sat in his car, took one last deep breath and drove to Sergio’s house.

Sergio looked at the clock every few seconds, he felt like Luka won’t come and he was so nervous. He looked at the clock and it was 8:00 and Luka wasn’t there. He knew it’s natural to be late few minutes, but he just couldn’t wait anymore. He went to the kitchen and served the food in the plates, making the time go a bit faster. While he was putting pasta in the second plate and putting the plate down he heard the ring of his home bell. He straightened his shirt and went to open the doors. “Hello.” Luka blushed at the sight of ripped Sergio in his tight shirt. He entered the home he knew very well. He spent long nights and days there, he loved that house, he always thought it was one of the coziest places on the planet. He smelled the pasta and the sweetness of the tomato sauce in the air made him even hungrier than he was and he was starving, not eating anything since the training. Sergio took his jacket and hung it on the big hanger next to the doors. Luka observed the house like he was there for the first time, he was remembering all of the good memories they had there, trying to erase all of the bad things from his brain. He saw the table and plates full of pasta and wine next to it and he smiled from ear to ear. It wasn’t a hard dish or a big effort, but he knew this was from Sergio’s heart and he didn’t want anything more than that. He just wanted a simple dinner for them two. With pasta and red wine. And it was served right in front of him. “Do you want to eat? I made spaghetti, with that sauce you love the most.” Luka turned around to see Sergio standing, not knowing what to do with his hands, stuttering, failing to find confidence. “It’s beautiful. You did everything perfect.” At those words Sergio relaxed his shoulders and hands and sighed in relief. He came closer to Luka and took his small, gentle hand. Sometimes he asked himself what he did to deserve this small creature in front of him. This was the man who was the best thing that ever happened to him. “I need to eat now, I haven’t eaten since the training.” Sergio pulled Luka by the hand to the table and they sat down. “Don’t do that anymore. You know that isn’t healthy. Especially not eating after the training.” Luka nodded and took his fork and started eating. The flavor hit his tongue and he remembered all of the lazy nights when they were too lazy to go out for a dinner so Sergio made spaghetti. He ate this same sauce for two weeks straight in the summer and he never got bored with it. He loved the taste of it, because it reminded him of the summer and summer tastes like the best thing he ever tasted. Because it tastes like long mornings in the big king sized bed, it tastes like spooning with Sergio, it tastes like Sergio’s hot body and wet lips. Just thinking about that made Luka feel all tingly inside his stomach. He ate a bit faster now. Sergio looked at him and smiled at the sight of Luka slurping the long spaghetti. He just then realized Luka was wearing his shirt. It made him blush and feel the heat in his whole body. After they both ate their dinner, Luka wanted something sweet, and Sergio was prepared. “I knew you would ask for something sweet, so I bought something amazing for you.” Sergio took the plates to put them in the dish washer and then he took the cake out of the fridge. He put one slice of it on a smaller plate and brought it to Luka. “It’s a carrot cake!” Luka almost squealed at the sight of the orange cake sponge and the white frosting. Sergio smiled and put it in front of him. “Just for you bunny.” Luka smiled and as he was taking his first bit he was so happy Sergio knew him so good. Even calling him bunny, fitted him so perfect, he loved that pet name more than any other. Especially coming from Sergio’s mouth. After he ate two pieces of cake, Luka drank some wine and they talked. Just like before. They talked about their day, about the training and how jealous Sergio is at Luka because he is able to train. Luka smiled through the whole length of their conversation. Getting this back meant more to him than any award he has won this year. He realized it’s already 11 PM and he wanted to go home. “It’s getting late, and we have, I mean a have a training tomorrow at 10 AM, so I should get going.” Sergio stopped Luka from getting even close to the doors. “You are staying here tonight. Dates do not end up like that.” Luka grew a smile on his face, again. He loved how protective Sergio is, now even more than before. “SO what are you planning to do?” Luka asked with a small grin on his face. “Maybe we should watch a movie, or something.” Luka didn’t expect that answer, but he was hoping Sergio had something in plan afterwards. Sergio let Luka pick the movie while he goes and showers. “I’ll be out in 15 minutes, pick something good please.” Luka showed his thumbs up and searched for a movie on his phone. Sergio got naked pretty quickly and basically jumped into the shower, he just wanted to get it done as fast as he can so he can be next to Luka in no time again. He let the water pour right into his face. At that moment Luka entered the bathroom, trying to be as quiet as possible. He left his clothes next to the toilet where he saw Sergio left his clothes and he entered the big shower, really big shower in which would fit 5 people without any problem. He tangled his hands around Sergio’s stomach and glued his still cold skin to Sergio’s wet and warm skin. Sergio didn’t even flinch at Luka touching him. He wanted this as much as Luka did, he just didn’t know if Luka was ready, but he was, he was more than ready. Sergio turned around to face Luka’s wet face. His longer hair was sticking to his face which made Sergio smile. He put the hair behind Luka’s ear and kissed his forehead. “I though you weren’t ready.” Luka looked at the tiles of the shower on the floor then back at Sergio. “I am more ready than ever.” They were silent for a minute, but Sergio soon enough broke the silence with a big passionate kiss. Sergio found Luka’s tongue with his and just enjoyed the game inside their mouths. Luka gasped for air, but Sergio was barely letting him breathe. After a few moments Luka grew more thirsty for Sergio’s touches and he felt that Sergio was scared. He detached from Sergio’s lips and said: “You can do anything you want to me, don’t worry.” Sergio smiled and started touching Luka in more places than just his hands and arms. Luka was waiting for this moment for too long, to finally be with Sergio in the same place they were before, to finally feel him again. Sergio kissed Luka all over the neck and his bare chest, he was so pale, so every little bite mark or bruise appeared quickly. Sergio wanted to tease Luka a bit because he loved seeing him helpless and begging for Sergio. He kissed Luka all down to his stomach and arrived to Luka’s already hard cock. It was always funny for Sergio how fast he could get Luka hard. He touched the tip of it gently and just went around it to kiss Luka’s inner thighs, biting them a bit harder than his chest. Luka was trying to hold himself to the wall, trying to get the hold of Sergio’s hand to put it on his cock, but as soon as Sergio heard Luka whining and kicking the walls he stood up and looked at Luka “Are we going to play like that bunny?” Luka opened his eyes and smiled and tried to make his arms stay calm leaned on the wall. Sergio continued kissing his legs and at the same time spreading them apart. Soon after his stopped which made Luka open his eyes in confusion. Sergio stood up again and pushed Luka a bit harder to the wall. Luka clenched his hands and put them on the wall that he was pushed to. Sergio grasped a handful of Luka’s hair and pulled his head closer to his lips. “Are you ready?” Luka thinking Sergio will finally fuck him just moaned in confirmation, but he felt Sergio’s hand sliding from Luka’s hair down his spine which made Luka arch his back all the way down to Luka’s bum. Sergio just entered Luka with two of his fingers at the same time which made Luka actually scream. He just wanted Sergio to finally fuck him, but Sergio loved to tease and make everything last longer. Luka wanted to explode from arousal he was feeling, he just needed Sergio inside of him but Sergio was just letting a small part of him explore Luka. Luka’s cock was already so hard and Sergio wasn’t helping the situation. As Sergio slipped another finger in, Luka started crying in desire of Sergio. “Please, just fuck me, I need you.” Sergio saw Luka’ exhaustion, and as he pulled his fingers out he turned Luka around, bent him a bit and placed his hands on the wall in front of him. “It’s really important you hold your hands there, or you’ll crash to the wall.” Luka mumbled something as confirmation. Sergio placed one of his hands on Luka’s waist and entered in all his glory. Luka’s scream was so loud and filled with pleasure that it made Sergio go even deeper than before. Luka was trying to stay stable and hold his hands to the wall. His cock was literally dripping and he just wanted to come, but Sergo wasn’t letting it happen. As he was getting faster, Luka was still moaning, but quieter and quieter. At some point Sergio came and pulled out. He sighed in relief and he turned Luka around. He saw how exhausted he was, but his cock was still so hard that he needed to take care of that first. They sat down in the big shower, and Luka started kissing Sergio’s hair and face and everything he was able to find in front of himself that belonged to Sergio. Sergio pushed him lightly off him and made him lean on the wall behind him. The water poured on them and Sergio took Luka’s cock and started moving it fast. With his other hand he was holding Luka’s knee and Luka grasped Sergio’s hand so hard that Sergio flinched a bit. After a few moments Luka came and it was over. He moved closer to Sergio and hugged him. Still in tears he started talking: “You know sometimes, I was lying next to you, but I was thinking about him and I thought it was because I never had fell out of love with him in the first place, and everyone was telling me it was because I was wanting him and not you, but I had no idea what I wanted, and sometimes I still think about him, but I remember all of the times I burry my head in your armpit, that weirdly smells good, and when I look at your hair and your teeth..” Luka smiled at the sight of Sergio’s smile which showed his teeth, “Like why the fuck would I want to lick your teeth, but I do, and all of the times like this today, these are the best fucking moments, and I just need to get used to someone giving a fuck about me.” Sergio cupped Luka’s face and kissed his nose and his cheeks and finally his lips. He bit his lower lip and as they both gasped for air he said: “I thank God every day that you came back and won’t go anywhere.” Luka put his head in Sergio armpit and didn’t say anything not wanting to ruin this perfect moment they had with the worst news possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luka's monologue inspired by Miley Cyrus, BB talk, so check that out too.


	17. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <33

Sergio stroked Luka’s wet hair. They were lying naked on the bed and it was getting wet but they didn’t care. Sergio just wanted to stay in that moment, with a handful of Luka’s wet hair in his hand. Luka was trying to avoid Sergio’s gaze because he knew he would cry and he didn’t want to. Not now, not in this perfect moment, but he knew it would be just cruel to keep Sergio waiting. “Sergio…” Luka said so quietly and so softly that it was probably humanly impossible to hear him, but Sergio did hear and he lifted Luka’s head to show him he’s listening. “I know this is the worst moment to tell you this…” Sergio was already collecting thoughts about being cheated on, about Luka not being faithful and lying about not doing anything with Cris. “I am still transferring to Inter.” Sergio’s world shut down. He wasn’t prepared for this, he actually was supposed to be, but he thought Luka changed his mind, he thought it was just to get away from him because of their break up, but no, he was actually leaving. Sergio pulled himself up and sat up. “Are you going for good? Like no chance of turning back?” “No. I’m going for one year. So it’s a loan and then I could come back.” Sergio sighed in relief. “Please tell me you’ll come back, because this,” he gestured to show his and Luka’s intertwined legs and naked bodies, “this is the best thing that ever happened to me.” Luka smiled, softly, still feeling sadness, but a bit cheered up. “I just have to leave, I know this is really fucked up, but I just think I wouldn’t be able to do it.” Sergio kissed Luka and said: “I understand. Life can get a bit too much at the moments, and everything that had happened is way too much for anyone to comprehend.” Luka kissed Sergio back. “We have two more weeks together. I know it sucks, but let’s spend them as good as we can.” Sergio nodded and realized that in a week they will have time off. “We could go somewhere, travel and just let our brains chill a bit?” Luka nodded and got excited. He stood up from the bed and went to get his phone. Sergio was observing his small butt moving in the rhythm of his walking. It made him smile and chuckle at the same time. “Look, we could go to London, I know it well.” Luka pointed at his phone screen while returning back to bed. “No, I hate it there, it’s so moody and..” “What about Paris?” Sergio raised his eyebrows and answered: “Too cheesy.” Luka sighed and handed the phone to Sergio. “Then you find something.” Sergio took the phone from Luka’s small hands and started typing something. He scrolled a bit and then opened a web page with beautiful pictures of beaches and spas. “Where is that?” Luka sounded so excited. “Philippines.” Luka’s eyes got huge and he started jumping up and down in his seat. “Calm down. I’ll find the hotel and you find the plane tickets. Deal?” Luka nodded and took his phone, while Sergio went downstairs to get his laptop. While Sergio was downstairs Luka tidied up the whole bedroom, putting the wet sheets on the balcony to dry up, dirty clothes in the dirty clothes bin and then he took out fresh sheets and putting them on the bed. He made the bed, threw some clothes on himself, which were again too big for him and went downstairs. Sergio was dressed up too, his laptop opened on the kitchen counter, some website with beautiful beach hotels was opened on the screen. The music was blasting from the speakers in the leaving room and Sergio decided hotel can wait a bit while he made breakfast for them. Luka found his laptop where he left it before everything happened and started searching for the plane tickets. “Should we go on Sunday already?” Sergio didn’t even hear him, but Luka already clicked on the tickets and bought them. Tickets to Doha, then to Manila, where they will spend a night before going to their actual destination, General Luna, one of the small, heavenly looking islands in the Philippines. “Sergio returned to the kitchen table with plates full of eggs, bacon and a fruit salad. Luka smiled and showed him all the tickets he had bought. Sergio smiled and took his laptop. He took a bite and while consulting with Luka, he reserved a night in Manila and then 7 nights in Luna. It was a huge resort they would be staying in, on the small island and just looking at the pictures made Luka smile from ear to ear while chewing his eggs. “So Sunday.. It’s like in three days.” Luka smiled so hard, he couldn’t wait to go, he was so excited. They will be spending Christmas and New Year’s eve there, together. Luka’s heart warmed up and he walked up to Sergio and kissed him. Just out of nowhere. Sergio hugged him, and everything looked like a scene from a movie. The breakfast, the big trip, the bad news. Luka smiled while Sergio was kissing him and he enjoyed every second of it. Sergio went to his last appointment of the year. It was Saturday and he didn’t feel like spending his Saturday at the therapist, but he knew he had to get over with it. “So, a trip, with Luka? The therapist said while raising her eyebrows in a suspicions way. “Isn’t it too early?” Sergio sighed and looked at the therapist. She was a thin woman with short red hair, almost buzzed, maybe it was buzzed before, but it grew out. She looked strict and she wasn’t approving any of Sergio’s decisions that were involving Luka. Sergio never understood why, but he didn’t take it way too serious. The therapist looked at him again and waited for an answer patiently. Even though she looked like a nervous person, she wasn’t. She was actually too patient, like she could wait forever for someone to do something. Sergio took another deep breath and said: “I thought I was going too fast too, but yesterday, I invited him home to a date, and he initiated sex and even I was surprised.” She raised her eyebrows again. She turned her head to the side, coughed and then returned her look to Sergio. “So did you have sex? Or did you stop it?” Sergio shook his head and looked at her a bit confused. “Why would I stop it. Of course we did and it was amazing.” The therapist wrote something down and her timer started ringing. “Oh, look the time is up. I just wanted to tell you, you were supposed to go a bit slower. And I expect you here as soon as you come back.” Sergio agreed and finally exited the room after what felt like forever. It was early morning and they were already on the plane. As they were drifting into the thick clouds, the sun was just starting to rise. It looked magnificent and intimidating in the same time. The flight was too long, but they were in business class and getting a bit tipsy with the Champaign didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Luka leaned into Sergio and just rested like that for the whole long plane ride. They arrived in Doha sooner that they thought, and they had 3 hours before their next flight. Sergio saw a cute restaurant close to their gate so after they put their bags and suitcases to go to the plane they sat down to eat something. Sergio ordered a simple steak and Luka ordered some noodles and chicken. They were eating in silence and just gazing into each other. It was nice just to absorb each other after a long time. They were preparing for the next flight which was long, really long. Almost 10 hours. Soon after they finished eating and paid, Luka grabbed a coffee in the nearest Starbucks and they went to board. The plane was beautiful, every person on the plane had kind of a room of their own with a bed and a tv and some food. Luka didn’t like the fact they won’t be together, but it was okay because he was already really tired from all of the flying. It will be around 1:00 AM when they will land in Manila, but 1:00 AM in Madrid time, in Philippines time it will be 8:00 AM. Luka decided he needs to sleep so he and Sergio kissed goodbye even though they were next to each other, but they had their own space. Luka fell asleep pretty quickly, but he didn’t sleep for too long. He slept for around 6 hours and he woke up really thirsty. Every small personal “corner” had its own small fridge with drinks and snacks. Luka drank the water and after that he had to pee so he walked out of his “room” and found the bathroom pretty quickly. When he returned he realized almost the whole plane was asleep, so he wanted to go back to sleep too. But after he approached his corner he felt a hand on his. He turned around and saw Sergio peeking from his “room” and pulling Luka in. It was enough space for both of them inside, so Luka entered and laughed when he saw Sergio had two glasses of wine ready and some chips too. He laid next to Sergio and kissed him and took the wine glass. “This is amazing. But you know everyone is asleep.” Sergio smiled and winked. “I know.” Luka wasn’t sure how to read that look and smile of Sergio’s but he felt good and the wine was amazing too. Sergio rose from his corner to look around and too see if everyone was sleeping. He had a pleased look on his face when he returned to Luka. “They are all asleep.” Luka looked at Sergio funnily and nodded. “I know. I was just on the toilette.” Sergio looked at Luka and then at his pants and then again at Luka’s face. Luka grinned because he knew what Sergio wanted to do. Luka’s cheeks got flushed and Sergio took the glass from Luka’s hand. He started unbuttoning Luka’s pants and as much as Luka wanted to act like he doesn’t want a blowjob in the middle of the plane, he actually couldn’t wait for his pants to be gone. Sergio took of Luka’s boxers and started massaging his cock. Luka held down to the sheets of the small airplane bed and stayed as quiet as possible. Sergio got down to it and as much as Luka wanted to scream, punch a wall he couldn’t. Sergio was biting his cock in between sucking it and Luka loved that the most, but it made him want to scream even more. After a few minutes Luka heard footsteps getting closer to their corner and he pulled Sergio by the hair. Sergio bobbed his head up and saw Luka’s terrified face and he heard the footsteps. He threw a sheet over Luka’s hugged him and turned around from the doors. They heard knocking, but neither one of them turned around, Luka was holding onto his erect penis which made Sergio smile and he wanted to burst out of laughter, but they had to patient. He heard the footsteps go further from the room and he moved away from Luka. Luka threw the sheet away and sat in the same spot again. Sergio started laughing at the whole situation, but didn’t want to let go off Luka yet. He got down again and Luka finished pretty quickly. Sergio cleaned up after Luka and then put his boxers back on. Luka then pulled up his pants and when he wanted to leave, Sergio pulled him back again and kissed him. The day in Manila flew by quickly, it was Christmas eve and they had so much fun going around the city. They ate dinner in the big restaurant close to the hotel and it was really beautiful and romantic. The day after they jumped on a another plane and arrived in General Luna soon after. It was paradise. They were escorted to their villa which was literally in the jungle. And when they stepped outside of their villa there was a big sandy beach with amazing crystal clear water and big beds. Luka and Sergio believed they were in heaven. Every day felt like a dream, a long dream. Sleeping until eleven, cuddling in the bed in their villa and on the beach, late night sex on the beach when no one was there, rips to local islands with a small speed boat, new year’s eve on the beach. It was getting close to midnight and Luka and Sergio just got out of the water. They got back to their villa and they sat down in their living room. They sat back, got some delicious Champaign and watched the fireworks. “Happy new year Sergio” Luka said and kissed Sergio softly, “Happy new year Luka, I wish you all the luck” Sergio said and even though he felt a tear coming from his eye down his cheek, he felt like the happiest man alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey btw guys, this fan fiction is soon coming to the end, probably 2 or 3 more chapters, so please share it and give me feedback


	18. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Luka was packing his last box. The weather was just like his mood, gray, sad and rainy. Luka was trying to stay strong and in the end it was his decision and he knew it is the best for him. He sat on the bed looking around the room with tears coming out of his eyes. He wasn’t crying, he just felt the tears sitting there and waiting. Luka took the last box and went outside to put it into the moving truck. He put the last box inside of it, paid the man who was driving the truck and let it go. He had few more hours before he was supposed to go to Milan. He went back inside and sat down next to Sergio who was just peacefully sitting in the living room. Luka looked at Sergio and he felt the heaviness in the air around them. Sergio turned around and faced Luka. He tucked few of the disobedient hairs behind his ear and took Luka’s small hands into his. He looked at their hands together and tightened the grip. He didn’t want to let Luka go, they finally made peace with each other and now, this is happening. He understood Luka, he understood his need go away and be alone for a year, but it was a hard thing to swallow. “You know I will be waiting for you, you know that, right?” Luka nodded, swallowing his tears so he doesn’t start crying. “You know how much I love you, and I will be by your side until we die, believe me.” Luka was on the verge of crying, still holding it in steady. “I love you so much, and I hate that I’m doing this to you, but I have to..” “I know, stop feeling guilty, I understand, I would tell you if I didn’t.” Luka put his head on Sergio’s chest and absorbed his smell, his warm body, his softness. He lifted his head to look at the house for one last time. Sergio took Luka’s legs and put them around his waist and then lifted him with one hand. Luka was confused and he started laughing. It was good thing because his tears were getting away. Sergio went to the bedroom and put Luka down on the bed. “No, Sergio I have to go to the airport in an hour, are you crazy?!” Luka was laughing and panicking a bit in the same time, he was softly kicking Sergio in the chest because he was sitting on him. “We have time. This will be our last time. Maybe I should do something special.” Sergio grinned at Luka who was helplessly trying to get up. Luka gave in a bit and looked at Sergio. “Okay… I wouldn’t mind something special.” Luka grinned and at that second Sergio stood up, took his shirt off and took Luka’s shirt off. Then he walked out of the room and told Luka to wait. He came back with ropes, and Luka was a bit confused. Why was that considered special? Sergio came closer to Luka and tied his both hands up to the bed. “You’ll like this a lot.” Sergio whispered and took off Luka’s pants and boxers. Luka was ready for Sergio to do something to him, especially when Sergio started touching him between his thighs, spreading his legs. Luka was already getting hard and then he felt the harsh rope digging into his skin, not just on the hands, but this time on his legs too. Sergio tied Luka’s legs to the sides of the bed as good as he was able to due to Luka’s height. He took off his pants and boxers and went to the business. He made Luka hard in the second he took his cock in his hand. He made Luka even more hard to the point of wanting to come. Luka was helpless, being tied on the every side. Sergio didn’t want to tease him for too long, since it was their last time, so he prompted himself on the hands and above Luka and dove deep inside.

Sergio gave Luka back his clothes after hi untied him and they rushed to the airport. Sergio sat in the car and as they were driving they didn’t speak. There was some sad music on the radio which made the whole scene even worse and even more uncomfortable. They both knew this is it. Luka is going away for a year, and they will see each other in the summer. It will be long six months, for both of them, and Sergio hated every thought of it. Being alone in the big house. They arrive at the airport right in time. Luka did the check in and he had to go to board to the plane. Sergio took him by the hands and looked at him for a minute or so. Luka stood up on his toes and kissed Sergio. He didn’t really care if anyone sees them, he just wanted to kiss and be kissed by Sergio whenever and wherever. Sergio took Luka’s head in his hands and kissed him back. Luka detached their lips after a minute and said: “We’ll talk, a lot.” Sergio smiled and nodded “And facetime, and text.” Luka hugged Sergio one last time before turning his back and leaving to the plane.

Milano. It was the city where Luka will spend his next year. He liked the city, the club and he liked the people there. It was similar to Croatia which he liked, and it was closer, but he didn’t like being so far away from Sergio. Luka settled in Milano pretty quickly. He needed at least a month to arrange his apartment and all of the furniture and decorations. He was pretty clumsy in the beginning, he didn’t know his way around the city which was pretty funny even to him, because he has been in Milano before. Perja, Šime and Broz helped him get around, and they also showed him the places to go eat, drink or eve n go out in the evening. Luka liked his new apartment, it was big, but not too big, so he didn’t feel like he was lonely. It was in the center of Milano and Luka liked that. He felt like a tourist, but as time was going on he felt more and more like home. The club and his new teammates took him in really amazing, not just because he was the Ballon d’Or winner, but because he was really friendly with everybody. Šime usually introduced him to everyone, even though Šime was there the least time. Everyone found funny how he was 4th Croatian in Inter plus Handanovič being Slovenian. Everyone choked they are the “Balkan gang”. It made Luka laugh all the time. He heard from Sergio every day. For the first month, but later it became every two days, than every week or less. Luka didn’t like that, not hearing from Sergio for a long time, but he settled with excuses such as “We have a lot of trainings.” Or “We had a game so I slept longer”, “I am really tired”. It has already been 4 months since Luka left Real and he and Sergio already distanced. Luka tried to keep in contact all of the time, but Sergio just didn’t pick up most of the days or just didn’t feel like talking. Luka didn’t really take it to heart, because he was the one who left even though they made everything fine an finally good. Luka knew how hard Sergio was working and It was all confirmed with their performance in the UCL. Luka was watching all of their games and analyzing them just like he was doing with his own games. He loved watching Sergio play and he missed it, so watching the games made him feel the passion all over again. Semi-finals came around against Manchester City. Luka knew they are killing this season and he watched both of the games at the edge of his seat, but the won both games and Luka couldn’t be happier. He caught himself counting days to the end of his loan so he can come back to Sergio’s warm and big hug, and play with his best friends again. He loved Inter, but Real was a family to him.

Soon enough, the UCL Finals came around and Luka knew how tough the game will be to Sergio, especially because it is against… Juventus. Luka feared that might happen and it did. He didn’t want to Sergio against Cris, but that will be exactly what he will be seeing. Luka called Sergio the morning of the Finals and he picked up right away. “Hey.” “Hey Sergio. I wanted to ask you how are you doing, and wanted to wish you all the luck for the game today.” There was no answer at first, but Luka heard a soft sob and then he got an answer. “It’s fine, I’m fine. We could win if we focus well enough.” Luka sighed and continued listening to Sergio’s warm voice. He missed it, he missed it whispering in his ear, but there was nothing he could do, but wait. After a few minutes of talking Sergio went silent again, but this time he didn’t let out a sound for a full minute. “I miss you” was what he said after the silence. Luka didn’t talk or breathe. He just stood, frozen in his room, on the verge of crying. “I miss you too, I can’t wait to see you in the summer.” Sergio let out another quiet sob and then smiled, and even though Luka couldn’t hear that smile, he knew it was there. They hung up and Sergio went to their last training before the game.

The game was starting in an hour or so. Luka, Šime, Pero, Broz and Samir got together in Šime’s apartment to watch the game. Luka arrived just in the moment when Šime took the food out of the oven and put it on the big dining table. “Oh Luka, just in time, I made bruschetta. I even made some with carrot, I know those are your favorite.” Luka smiled and as he was leaving his stuff on the hangers he heard Broz from the living room. “Real will go down today.” Luka chuckled loudly and Broz turned his head around meeting with Luka’s smiley face in the distance. His face went blank and he started stuttering: “Oh, Luka, I didn’t… I didn’t know you, … you already came.” Luka smiled again and said: “It’s okay to have favorites, I just don’t get how your biggest enemy is the team you are rooting for today?” Marcelo frowned and started walking towards the table. “I didn’t say I’m rooting for them, but they are really good this year, I mean Ronaldo does miracles.” Šime looked at Marcelo with a look that could kill, “We do not talk about that person in this house.” Luka chuckled again and said “It’s fine, I don’t really care about him, I just hope there won’t be any incident between him and Sergio.” Pero peeked at the television in the other room to see if the game was starting, but all he saw was Samir getting back to the table. “Hey Luka, I’m didn’t know you already arrived. I was taking a piss.” Šime slammed his hand on his forehead and looked at Luka and put on a fake, sour smile on his face. “They are idiots what can I tell you. But Luka please eat, I want to know if you like them.” Luka took one of the carrot bruschetta and took a bite. They were as good as always. Šime was a great cook, he always made some extravagant and stupid meals for them, but they were usually tasty. “They are amazing, maybe even better than usual. Did you put something new in it?” Šime smiled proudly and nodded. “I put some cream in the carrot mix, it made it fuller right, but is it too greasy?” “No, it’s perfect I love it, you should always make it like this.” At that point the game was about to start so Luka, Šime and all of the other boys moved from the dining table to the big couch. Šime brought some chips and popcorn from his cupboard and the game started. Luka was at the edge of his seat the whole game, I mean, each of them was, but Luka wasn’t just because of the game. It was a good and a long game. It went to the extra time after whit it ended 3-2. For Juvenuts. Luka was in utter disbelief, he believed Sergio and the team will do it, he believed. He remembered how scared he was, only a year ago. It was his fourth UCL Finals and he was shitless scared and he knew how were they feeling right now, he knew exact feeling, he felt it the previous summer, he knew the heaviness of being the losing team. Luka felt tears on his cheeks and everyone in the room was speechless seeing Cristiano lift the UCL trophy for the 4th time in a row, but with a different team. Luka saw Mario’s happy face on the screen and he smiled, he genuinely smiled because he knew how much Mario deserved that trophy, but he was still crushed. Tears started rolling down his cheeks, they were soft and small, and even slow, but he felt like he was being swallowed by emptiness. Šime came closer to Luka and gave him a few tissues. “Here, let me get you a glass of water.” Luka stood up quivering and torpidly went to the hallway. “I’m sorry guys, I have to go.” He opened the doors and quickly left, leaving hem open and all of his friends in shock.

When he came he didn’t call Sergio. He knew he was the last person Sergio would want to talk to. He pushed his jacket off of him and placed it on a hanger. He took off his shoes and entered his apartment. When he sat down on the couch, he opened his phone and he realized there is a person he should call. “LUUKAAAA” Luka smiled when he heard Mario’s happy voice. Those were rare moments, when Mario was genuinely smiling and Luka knew, just from his voice that he was smiling. ”Congratulations you fool. I am so happy for you.” “THANK YOU LUKAAA” Mario was shouting, it was clear they were probably celebrating in the bus. “I’ll leave you to it, say hi to Cris for me.” Mario just hung up, but Luka didn’t take it as a bad thing. He knew Mario was just happy for the win. Luka went to wash his face from tears and wanted to go to sleep. He wanted to call Sergio, but he promised himself he’ll do it the next day. Before actually going to sleep he pulled out his phone once again and called up Marcelo. “Hey Luka.” He heard the pain in his voice, the disappointment in that sunken voice was clear, but Marcelo was still trying to sound positive. “Did you call Cris already, I’m glad for him.” Luka chuckled and answered, “Marcelo, it’s okay, you don’t have to be nice all the time.” Marcelo sighed and just let Luka continue talking. “I know it’s probably depressing, but I went through it in the Summer, it will go away, time heals, you know what they say.” “You really are the best person I know” Luka smiled at that sentence. “Is Sergio okay? He will beat himself up for this for the next year, I know him.” Marcelo sighed again and when he stared talking he sounded concerned. “I don’t know, after the game he congratulated the opposite team, and when we came back to the dressing room he hugged us all and said we played good, but then he dressed up and walked out. He didn’t go back with us in the bus. I have no clue where he is right now. Will you call him tomorrow?” Luka said he will and then he said goodbye to Marcelo and decided it really was the time to go to sleep.

The morning after Luka woke up earlier then intended. He had a training in 1:00 PM and after that he had a lunch with his friends, but besides that he was free, and waking up in 8:00 AM wasn’t in the plan. He made breakfast and coffee and because he didn’t know what to do, he decided he will go on a run while it is still not too hot and crowded, and besides he wanted to clear his head and play out in his head how will he call Sergio. He ran for about an hour, he planned every scenario in his head, if Sergio will be pissed at him, if he will cry, if he will just be sad or if he won’t want to talk to him. Around 11:00 he picked up his phone and clicked on Sergio’s name. It rang for about 5 to 6 times and then: “Hello?” It wasn’t Sergio. It was a woman’s voice. Young woman. Luka was hoping it was Sergio’s sister. He was hoping it was just his sister and Sergio just went to his home after the game. “I’m sorry, whoever this is, Sergio is in the shower and I’m about to go there too, so I’m not planning to talk here. I’ll tell him you called though.” Luka hung up and rushed to the bathroom because his stomach couldn’t take in what he just heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry you've been waiting for the chapter for so long, I was so uninspired, but the idea came to me this morning, so I did it


	19. CHAPTER NINETEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please don't kill me, Sara made me do it, hihi <33

There was just a few days to Luka’s trip to Madrid. He was tempted every day to cancel it and just disappear, but he wanted to give Sergio a chance. After that day, they spoke only once, the day after. And it was just Sergio trying to explain and Luka not listening. They decided they will meet up in Madrid when the Summer Holidays start. Luka really didn’t want to face Sergio. In one hand he was making himself believe Sergio didn’t do anything wrong and he just took it wrong and on the other hand he was scared of hearing the truth from Sergio’s mouth, he was scared, because if he heard the only thing he didn’t want to hear it would break him and it would be over, forever. Luka took out his small suitcase and put his stuff in it and promised himself he won’t cancel the trip and he will actually go to Madrid and hear everything Sergio has to say. On the day of the trip, in the early morning hours, Luka called Marcelo just to hear from him and to tell him he’s coming. Marcelo didn’t know anything about this and Luka wanted to keep it that way just until he finds out the truth. “Heey, Lukaaa, I didn’t hear from you since the finals, are you good, what’s up?” “I’m actually coming to Madrid today.” Marcelo got excited. “Whaaat? Must be to see Sergio, I know you to love birds almost died without each other, at least he was acting like it, I know you did too.” Luka felt the well-known warm feeling around his heart. “But I hope you’ll spare some time for me, so we can catch up on everything.” Luka smiled and answered: “Of course. I didn’t see you for so long, I miss you too Marcelo.” Marcelo chuckled and after they said their goodbyes he hung up. While Luka was leaving to go to the airport, in Madrid, Marcelo was just about to pick up Sergio so they could go to pick up a coffee together. “So, why didn’t you tell me Luka is coming?” Sergio almost choked on his coffee, he didn’t know Luka would tell Marcelo he is coming. “Oh yeah, he is, but just for a few days, I didn’t think you would have time to hang out, I know you are going traveling with your family.” Marcelo fake-laughed and looked seriously at Sergio. “That’s in a week, and you know that, there is something else going on here.” Marcelo squinted his eyes and observed Sergio. “No, dude, chill out, nothing is going on, fuck, sorry, I just wanted a few days alone with my boyfriend.” Marcelo relaxed his face and smiled at Sergio. “You should’ve just said that. I understand.” Marcelo and Sergio continued laughing and talking, but Marcelo knew there was something bothering Sergio. He didn’t want to ask too many questions so he just brushed it off, but he still had a bad feeling about it.

Luka’s plane landed about 3:00 PM. It was a rainy Tuesday and he really didn’t want to talk to Sergio that day. After he took his suitcase, he called the taxi to drive him to his old apartment. He didn’t sell it, because he was hoping he will return after a year. Driving through the city made him remember all of the beautiful things he been through there. He really loved Madrid. On the way to his apartment they passed the Santiago Bernabeu which made Luka tear up a little bit. He missed it, a lot. He missed the whole vibe of the city, the look of it, feel of it, he missed all off the people that lived there and the people who were his friends. He just wanted to come back, return, feel the warmth of Santiago again. He thought about it way too much, he only thought about returning, but this situation that was developing made him sick to the stomach, just a thought of Sergio with someone else. He arrived at the apartment around 4:00 PM. He unlocked the front doors and as he entered all of the memories fled back in. The apartment looked pretty much the same, just with less furniture and decorations. Luka out his bag on the floor and started walking through the apartment that was never his home. But he couldn’t go to his home, he wasn’t ready to face Sergio, especially not in their home where Luka had some of the best moments of his life. He unpacked and soon after went out to get something to eat, because there was no food in the apartment. He realized he could meet up with Marcelo to tell him everything and just to catch up a bit. He pulled up his phone from his pocket and called Marcelo. “Hey, I’m here!!” Marcelo caught his breath and squealed. “YES! Are you able to go out while you’re here, I really miss you.” Luka smiled and answered: “Now? I have to eat, so maybe our favorite place in around half an hour?” Marcelo sighed from excitement and said: “See you there, I won’t be late, can’t wait to see you and hug you.” Luka smiled again, it was his favorite thing, smiling, especially when Marcelo made him laugh, because he was such a genuine person. “See you.” He hung up and called an Uber.

The restaurant was the same Luka remembered it, not too big, but big enough, it was decorated just right and with taste. Luka arrived first and he found a small table next to the big window. He saw Marcelo park outside and rush in. “Hey, I’m late just two minutes, that’s my absolute record.” Luka hugged Marcelo and their sat down. “So how is Milano? Is it all romantic and shit?” Luka looked down and sighed and then just threw on a fake smile and started talking. “It is actually really beautiful, and it has so many cool places, but my favorite place is Šime’s place for sure, we always hang out at his house. Šime, Perja, Broz and Samir, they really are amazing friends, they took me in their circle of friends. I am the oldest and I feel about like their mom sometimes, but it’s all good, because whenever I start feeling like the mom, Šime becomes the mom of the group so it’s all good.” Marcelo loved Luka’s stories, he loved all his friends and he couldn’t wait to hear more. “Šime and Dejan? Are they still together?” “Oh yes, Dejan sometimes comes to Milano so we are forbidden from coming to Šime’s house unannounced.” Marcelo started laughing and he was about to ask some other question, but he was cut off by Luka. “So… How was it, after the finals and everything?” Marcelo kept a smile on, even though Luka saw how his energy dropped in a second. “Well it was hard at first, especially seeing Cris lifting the trophy in a different jersey, but we got over it, I mean you have to get over it, we can do it next year, our season started horrible last year and we moved all the way to the finals, so, we really can do it you know?” Luka nodded and sighed again. “So, the whole reason why I am here is to see Sergio, right.” Marcelo nodded, but he looked a bit confused hearing Luka’s serious voice. “It’s not just because we haven’t seen each other in 4 months, there is more.” Marcelo turned into an ear, he wasn’t sure what was happening, but he was interested, especially because he knew what Sergio was planning. “I think Sergio cheated on me.” Marcelo’s eyes got huge and his confusion just grew bigger and bigger. “Cheated??! Luka are you sure you know what are you talking about?” Luka nodded slowly. “I called him the day after the finals, and a woman picked up the phone.” Marcelo opened his mouth in shock, “At first I was hoping it was his sister, but she said she was getting in show with him, and day later, he call me to tell me “it’s not what it seems”.” Marcelo was still staring at Luka with his mouth wide open. How the fuck was he supposed to react. “Luka I can’t tell you how much this hurts, because I know he is planning something and,” Luka cut off Marcelo: “No, I don’t care. I have to hear it from him, I have to know he did it, from his mouths. He has to confirm he really did what he did, not from you or from anyone else, I don’t care what he’s planning, I have to see him. I have to see him now.” Luka stood up and left some money on the table, even though they haven’t even ordered yet, he stormed out and caught the first taxi he saw on the corner of the street.

He didn’t even check if Sergio was at home, but he knew he had to do it right then and in their house. He told the taxi driver the address and they started driving. Luka new that path way too good, he knew the names of all the streets they were going into or passing by, he knew every distinctive café bar or restaurant on the way. The driver left him in front of the complex gates where the guard remembered Luka and let him in without any questions. Luka walked all the way to their house which wasn’t too close to the gates. He had to walk at least 15 minutes and he had time to think about all of the outcomes of their talk. He knew if Sergio confirms the cheating he will leave him, but that also meant he won’t be able to come back to Madrid and he will have to insist on Inter buying him. That was a big deal, because Luka really wanted to come back and play for Real Madrid again. He came to their big house and knocked on the doors. No answer. Luka knocked again, and again, and again. He started ringing the doorbell in the same time as he was knocking. After 5 minutes of that he heard loud footsteps and someone coming closer to the doors. The doors finally opened and he saw Sergio, still half a sleep in his night robe in front of him, one side of it falling down his shoulder exposing his naked torso. Luka was trying not to stare at that body he missed so much, he just turned his look to Sergio’s face. “Luka?” Sergio was a bit confused, he pulled up his robe and welcomed Luka in. “You already arrived? I thought you’ll be coming tomorrow.” Luka nodded and started talking “I was supposed to, but I wanted one day for myself in Madrid, but after I went out with Marcelo, I just didn’t want to postpone this encounter anymore.” Sergio sighed loudly and nodded slowly. “Okay, can we do this tomorrow, please, I am just not ready now, not now.” Luka looked shocked and hurt at the same time. “Excuse me? I came here all from Italy just so we can get our relationship back on its feet. And you say this? “Not now”?” Luka was starting to get pissed and Sergio saw that so he took him by the hand and they sat down on the couch. “Okay, we’ll do it now. I am sorry. I am tired and this will just make me sad and even more tired.” Luka trembled. Sad? Why sad? He sat obediently next to Sergio and he started talking. “I don’t want any excuses and long speeches, we are over that. I want you to tell me loud and clear, who was that woman and what was she doing in our house that day?” Sergio sighed and said: “Before I say anything I want you to know I love you and..” “No, no, JUST TELL ME!” “I slept with her. I did. And I admit it, it was an honest mistake.” Luka stood up from the couch. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He didn’t know what to say, but Sergio continued talking. “We met a long time ago, like 3 months ago and she was working with Raphael and Marcelo as their babysitter. She was really nice and nothing ever happened between us, but when we lost the finals, I was not able to cope with that alone, and I knew she had a thing for me, so she was the closest person.” Luka started shaking his head and started literally screaming. “So you called her to fuck? That was your solution? THAT? Congratulations. It never occurred to you that you have a boyfriend who was worrying in Italy, and who was too scared to call because he knows how you react. It never occurred to you?” “Luka I love you, I hate myself for doing this.” Luka was done with it. “If you ever loved me, why did you even risk losing me?” Sergio broke down, he started crying, but after a few sobs he stopped and got himself together. “I love you Luka, I always loved you.” He grabbed Luka by the hand, but Luka wrenched it out and looked at Sergio. “No, you wouldn’t do this to me.” At that point Sergio and Luka both had enough, and as Luka wanted to leave, he heard Sergio behind him: “I didn’t want to do this now, but I have to.” Sergio kneeled down on one knee and took out a small box. Luka’s eyes got huge and he felt the tears coming. “Luka Modrić, I know how badly I fucked up, but I love you and would you marry me?” Luka held his breath for the whole time Sergio was talking. When he finished the question Luka started breathing normally again. He looked down at Sergio, wiped tears from the corners of his eyes and answered: “No.”


	20. CHAPTER TWENTY

“What?” Sergio felt empty, he felt useless, he felt like someone just pushed him away and he felt his heart break. “I said no.” Luka wasn’t even looking at Sergio while he was saying it. He decided, he decided what he will do in the moment he heard what Sergio did. “We are together for almost a year now and you just say no.” “And why are you confused? You cheated on me! With. A. Woman!” Sergio was looking at Luka’s red and furious face in front of him and he realized this was way bigger than anything else they’ve been through. “I went through physical abuse with you, I forgave you. And after everything you do this and now want to get married? Do you know how crazy that sounds?” Sergio looked down at the floor and dropped the box with the ring still in it on the table next to the couch. He went to the kitchen and took a beer from the fridge. He sat down on the couch, chugged the whole beer and then he started talking: “I know I fucked up, I fucked up badly, but I just want you to forgive me, I can do anything to prove it to you that I still love you and..” “But you don’t.” Sergio looked at Luka with his mouth still opened like he wanted to talk. “No, you don’t, and if this is how love looks for you, then you should find someone else and not me.” Sergio stood up and tried to come closer to Luka, but Luka stepped back. “Don’t, it’s over.” Luka stepped outside of the house and called the Uber. Sergio was standing in front of the closed doors and thought about going after him, but he knew he would just make him more mad so he didn’t. He just stood there. Luka was sitting in the car for a few minutes. He was subconsciously hoping Sergio would come after him, but he didn’t. Luka told the driver to go and they went away, away from the house, from Sergio, and from their relationship. Luka texted Marcelo and told him he is coming over, Marcelo replied quickly because he could imagine what happened. He knew Luka would snap after the proposal, especially if Sergio actually cheated on him.

Luka arrived to Marcelo’s house pretty quickly. Marcelo opened the doors and the second Luka entered Marcelo’s house he started crying and broke down. Marcelo’s wife brought Luka some water and crackers and all three of them sat down on their big white couch. Luka couldn’t stop crying, his sobs were echoing through the house. Luka was trying to explain what happened, but all of the words coming out from his mouth were unintelligible and they didn’t understand him. After an hour of Luka sobbing in Marcelo’s shirt, which was wet after just 10 minutes, Luka finally calmed down and they could talk normally. Clarisse went to the kitchen to get Luka more food and water and when she returned and sat down again Luka started talking. “I went there, to hear his explanation and I knew he cheated, I just wanted to hear it from his mouth and when he said it I crossed our relationship in my mind.” Marcelo opened his mouth in shock, but his wife nodded. “I wouldn’t make such a big deal about it if he didn’t actually beat me because I just talked to Cristiano and about the transfer, he physically abused me and then after everything he cheated on me. For God’s sake I would forgive him, but after all of that, I just can’t. My common sense won’t let me do that.” Marcelo inhaled deeply and started talking: “Luka, don’t you think you reacted a bit too sudden, I mean ending a relationship, just like this.” Luka cut him off “I did it like this because I know I wouldn’t be able to say good bye to him.” Luka’s eyes watered again. Clarisse pushed Marcelo to the side and came closer to Luka. “Listen to me, you did the right thing, I know it seems brutal and mean and what not, but he cheated on you, I would do the same to this one here” she pointed at Marcelo who looked at her and opened his eyes widely “, I know how you feel right now, I experienced it a long time ago and I apologized to that person just so he could hurt me again.” Luka nodded because he exactly knew what she was talking about. Clarisse took Luka by the hand to their big guest room and she brought him more water and some of Marcelo’s sweatpants and a new shirt. “Look, here is something more comfortable, I expect you will stay here today and go home tomorrow and then clear your mind and really think about what you will do about the whole situation.” Luka nodded and as he pulled his phone from his pocket she took it from him and said: “No, I’ll take that.” Luka looked at her confused and wanted to take his phone back, but she stopped him. “This will be with me until tomorrow and you’ll get it back then.” Luka was still confused. “He will try to call you and you will not go under pressure and answer it, and he will send texts, oh a lot of texts, so I will not let you see all of that bullshit.” Luka accepted the clothes and let his phone go with her. When she exited the room and closed the doors, Luka took his clothes of and looked himself in the mirror before dressing up again. He realized he missed seeing bruises on his collar bone or scratches down his hands and thighs. Maybe it was silly, but he already missed Sergio and he needed to stop missing him. He dressed up in the new clothes pretty quickly and went to the bathroom. After splashing his face with a lot of water he got out of the bathroom and returned to Marcelo and Clarisse in the living room. Marcelo hugged Luka and dragged him to the couch to play FIFA. It brought a smile to Luka’s face because Šime didn’t have PlayStation so they never played FIFA in Milano and Luka missed it. Especially because he loved playing it Sergio. Sergio was always better at it than him, and despite Luka always loosing, he always agreed to play it. Marcelo turned on the PS and as they started playing Luka’s brain was starting to clear out all of the thoughts about Sergio. Luka told himself it is not worth it, not worth stressing about it and after a 2 hour session of FIFA Luka knew exactly what was his next move.

Luka woke up around 9 AM. He dressed up in his clothes and said goodbye and thank you to Marcelo and Clarisse. He told them he is going home, but he was actually going to the Bernabeu. As soon as Clarisse gave him the phone in the morning, he texted Solari that he is coming to talk about something serious. He was there at around 11. Solari welcomed him back to his old home and asked usual questions about Inter, his new teammates and about the contract. “That’s why I came here.” Solari looked at Luka with eyes full of hope and happiness. “Inter agreed to fully buy me.” Solari’s eyes got dark and sad. He turned his look away from Luka and just looked in the distance for a few seconds. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying.” “I will not be a Real Madrid player anymore.” Solari held in his tears and feelings. “When Perez told me this is a possibility I thought he was kidding, I thought he was just stating all of the things that could happen, it wasn’t at the end of my mind that you will actually go, fully go and not come back.” Luka looked at Solari and then turned away. “I know, but I just found myself there, I’m sorry.” Solari hugged Luka tightly. “You don’t have to say you’re sorry, this is a great opportunity for you, especially at your age, you can go 3-4 more years there without any complications.” Luka nodded a few times and hugged Solari again. It was the hardest decision of his life, because didn’t mean just leaving the club he played for the biggest part of his professional career, this also meant leaving the city he grew to love so much, this meant leaving all of his friends behind, this meant leaving his apartment, his street, and the most hurtful of all, this meant leaving the person he thought was THE person in his life. But it turned out he wasn’t and maybe it was for the better.

Luka started packing his small suitcase for the plane ride back to Milano. He was supposed to go to the airport in around 2 hours so he was able to pack pretty calmly. In the days he was in Madrid he got 53 missed calls from Sergio and 146 unread messages. Luka was ready to let go, he was ready to cut Sergio out of his life and that was the thing he was about to do. He dressed up, combed his hair and took his suitcase and called up a taxi. The taxi came in a few minutes and he was ready to leave. He came to the airport just in time, he did the check in, sent his suitcase and sat down for a coffee. His plane was taking off in 45 minutes so he had time to drink his coffee and board in time. Just as he sat down for the coffee he saw Sergio in the distance coming towards him. Luka already stood up to throw away the coffee and enter the plane but Sergio was faster and he came in time to grab Luka by the hand. “Where do you think you’re going?” Luka wrenched his hand out of Sergio’s grip and started walking to the plane entrance. “Luka, please stop.” Luka stopped and turned around. “It’s over, please leave me alone.” Sergio looked at Luka in disbelief and said again: “Luka, can we at least just say goodbye to each other?” Luka turned around again and came closer to Sergio. “I’ll miss you bunny.” Luka’s hands started trembling. He could take anything but bunny. Bunny just made him want to stay, stay there in Sergio’s hands forever. But he didn’t. “I’ll miss you too, I’ll miss you every fucking day, but I know I’ll be happier without you.” As he said that he saw Sergio’s eyes watering and one tear escaping his eye. Luka came closer and kissed Sergio, he kissed him long, deep and in front of everyone just like the last time they were standing there on the same airport, just a few months back. “I love you.” Sergio and Luka detached and Luka turned around and entered the plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so basically we have ONE MORE CHAPTER and it over. I hope you liked all of the things I was writing about. The last chapter will be intense so bear with me, I hope I'll get it up by the end of this week.


	21. LAST CHAPTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before you read the last chapter, I wanted to thank every single one of you who are reading this, I hope you like this and I'm sorry :)

It was a hard couple of years for Sergio to go through. As much as he was telling himself everything was fine and he could go over everything, it wasn’t. He was starting to distance himself from his friends. Marcelo was trying to comfort him every chance he got, but Sergio wasn’t opening up. He bottled his feeling inside and he got even more aggressive on the pitch than he was before. He was also waiting for all of his international games obsessively, but he got his hopes down to earth at the first international game, because there was no Luka in sight. He caught up with Mateo and even though Mateo knew what happened between Luka and Sergio, he talked to Sergio because he needed to know the truth. “Luka left the National Team right at his full transfer to Inter.” Sergio knew that was it and there are no more chances of seeing Luka anywhere or anytime soon. So the years passed and Sergio tried to get in contact more than a few times, but not successfully. Luka was just cutting him off in all of the aspects. When Sergio celebrated his 36th birthday he and the coach came to the conclusion he should transfer. And his only way was China. He knew he will have a big salary there and he will be far far away from Europe. Maybe he will finally get away from Luka and all of the thoughts about him. So the transfer window opened in the summer of 2022 opened and Sergio told the news to his friends and teammates. It was a big punch in the guts for Real Madrid. He was their captain for a long time now and it was hard for them to take it. But he knew it was the right decision and he wanted to let young players have their chances.

China, it was a big country, big club. Guangzhou wasn’t Beijing, but Sergio found it difficult to connect with the city. It was too big, with too many people, but he knew he had to settle down. He also said goodbye to International football which was hard to him, but he had to do it. Sergio was thinking about Luka less and less, but he still had him somewhere in the back of his head, he always had the feeling just waiting. Sergio still heard from Marcelo everyday who left Real a year before him to go and play for Milan. Sergio was really happy for him and he also loved how Raphael became the captain after he left and how Real Madrid was still winning and being successful even after he left. His career continued in a good light in China. He became one of the best players there, having one of the biggest salaries there and having a great life. Good friends and even Marcelo visiting him every few months when they had a pause. Sergio fell for a few people in the span of the five years after Luka left. It was one woman and two men, but it never lasted longer than a few months, few worthless months. Sergio wasn’t happy, there was no one he could get along with. He didn’t mind it at first, going out often, having multiple partners and being reckless was his way of life in the first year of living in China, but he wasn’t fulfilled by it. He looked happy, he looked like he didn’t care, but he was only thinking about one person and one person only. One day, just as the Winter break started, Sergio got a phone call from Marcelo, he was checking on him. “Hey Sese, what’s up?” Sergio was happy when he heard Marcelo’s playful voice. He loved talking to him, it made him remember the better days. “Hey, I’m amazing, was just thinking about going out, what about you?” Marcelo smiled and answered: “I’m going to lunch with my wife and kids, I wanted to ask you if you want to come to Milano in a few days and spend Christmas with us.” Sergio was a bit struck by the idea, Milano was the last city where Luka was, he had no clue if he is still there, because he stopped reading any news about Inter or Milano so he could stay away from Luka. But he was still a bit scared of the thought of seeing Luka after all of these years. “I’ll come. Can I come in like two days?” Marcelo was so happy at the thought of seeing his friend in Italy. “Yes, of course. I’ll get you the return ticket, I can’t wait to see you and I can’t wait for you to meet my third son.” Sergio smiled and hung up. He really couldn’t wait to see his best friend again. He was hoping if Marcelo knew anything about Luka he would tell him, but again that was Marcelo and he didn’t like hurting other people’s feelings. Few days past by and Sergio was on his way to Italy. It was a big time change so he had jet lag when he arrived and he did sleep for the first whole day without even saying hello to any of Marcelo’s family members. The next day when he woke up he was greeted by big smiles on everyone’s faces. “Sergio! I haven’t seen you for such a long time!” Clarisse hugged Sergio and they caught up on everything, Marcelo came out of the kitchen with cups of coffee for everyone and they talked for an hour or so. Then Enzo, their oldest son came out of the room. Sergio’s jaw dropped at the sight of the tall young man in front of him. “How old is he now?” Marcelo started chuckling and he stood up to hug his son. “Fifteen. Can you believe it?” Sergio shook his head. He also saw Liam coming out of his room and calling Clarice to pick up the youngest kid out of the room. “Sergio went to get Liam and they sat down on the couch and Sergio looked at Liam and sat him on his lap. “You know what buddy? Last time I saw you, you were this big!” Sergio started gesturing how small Liam was. He started chuckling and smiling. Clarice came out of the bedroom with a small child in her hands, he was so small and fragile that Sergio felt his eyes water a bit. “He is so small.” Sergio came closer and observed the little child. “His name is Alvaro. He will soon be one and a half year old.” Sergio smiled and looked the baby trying to hold Clarice’s finger. He always wanted children, but it never happened, he never got chance. And when he had a chance for the perfect life he ruined it. The thoughts about Luka started bottling up again, but he didn’t want to ask Marcelo anything, they had amazing time and he didn’t want to ruin it with his problems. Marcelo and his family made Sergio feel so welcome in their home, he was happy and didn’t feel alone for the weeks he has been there. They woke up early on the Christmas morning and Sergio couldn’t wait to give all of them his presents. As soon as everyone gathered around the tree Sergio went to his suitcase to get all of the gifts. He brought three small Real Madrid jersey’s for all of the boys with his name on it and his signature. “I know it’s not our club anymore, but it will always be a home in my heart.” Marcelo teared up a bit and went to hug Sergio, but Sergio stopped him and took out his gift for Marcelo. “This is two plane tickets for me and you to go to Madrid to see our city again after too long and to go to the Bernabeu like the regular tourists.” Marcelo now started crying and hugged Sergio as tightly as he could. As they were hugging, he saw Clarice hugging her children and as Marcelo released Sergio from the hug, Sergio came closer to Clarice and gave her a coupon for a week long spa in Madrid while they are there. She smiled and hugged Sergio. Marcelo then got his gift for Sergio, it was an old Real Madrid jersey, like vintage old, and as Sergio unpacked it he felt tears, and when he turned the jersey to see Zidane’s name and signature on the back made him start sniffling. Marcelo then pulled Sergio so they could go make breakfast together so Clarice doesn’t have to. Sergio hugged Marcelo again and they started making eggs, bacon and more. Sergio loved Marcelo’s family and he didn’t want the holidays to end.

Few days after, Sergio went to a walk around the city, he liked Milan, it remined him of Madrid. He decided to go shop a bit and get some stuff for New Year’s. He walked around the city, through all of the shops, but he couldn’t find anything worth buying. He bought one oversized shirt and one pants just for the party in a few days, but nothing more. He decided he should go and sit down a bit, or maybe buy something to eat one the nearest ‘piazetta’. He sat down in a bar on the terrace near the piazetta and enjoy the view of all of the different people walking by. He loved observing people, especially in new countries or cities. He looked all of the old ladies walking by with vegetable-filled paper bags or the young men storming through the crowd because they are obviously late. As Sergio sipped the last bits of his coffee from the big mug, his eyes caught dirty blonde hair in the distance walking to the piazetta, they caught the same small curls and the soft pale skin Sergio knew better than he should. Sergio quickly payed and even though he knew that maybe isn’t who he thinks it is he has to go after him, just in case. Sergio took his bags with his goods inside and practically ran after the short man turning around the corner to go to the piazetta. As Sergio turned the corner he saw him buying some fruits and other stuff. He took the bag full of apples and oranges and turned around and at that moment Sergio stopped breathing for a moment. It was Luka. Luka, his Luka. He looked pretty much the same, just a bit older and with a bit longer hair than Sergio was used to. Sergio was staring at Luka for way too long, but he didn’t caught his eye. As much Sergio wanted to go up to Luka and just talk to him, he was scared. It was five years after all. Sergio got all of the courage he could and walked up to Luka. He stood behind him or 10 seconds and when he wanted to tap him on the shoulder Luka turned around and bumped into him. All of his apples fell on the ground and he crouched to collect them and put them into his paper bag. “I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t mean to…” Luka stoop up to see Sergio’s face which made him drop the apples again. “What? What are you doing here?” Luka was confused and in disbelief. Sergio. After 5 years of no contact he saw him again, and he looked even better than before. “Let me help you.” Sergio collected all of the apples and oranges and handed them to Luka. “I’m here with Marcelo, I didn’t know you still live here, Marcelo, of course, didn’t say anything.” Luka nodded softly and smiled. “Yes, I actually retired here last year. I thought you knew.” Sergio chuckled and said: “I didn’t. I was avoiding all of the news about you, it was too hard.” Luka dropped his look on the floor and just awkwardly stood there with the paper bags. “Well, do you want to go for a coffee or something, we have to catch up.” Luka was saying to himself that isn’t a good idea, he was trying to say no, but his mouth was quicker than his brain and he said: “Yes! That would be amazing. Do you want to right now? I have an hour or so free.” Sergio nodded happily and took one of the paper bags from Luka. They walked slowly to one of the cute bars close to the piazetta. “This one is my favorite, I always come here with my…” Luka sounded like he swallowed the last word so Sergio wouldn’t be able to hear it, but Sergio didn’t ask, he just wanted to enjoy the crazy coincidence. “So, what have you been up to since everything?” Luka looked at Sergio and sounded really interested. “Well, China.” Luka’s eyes got huge. “China? Really? When? What? I really got out of the whole football story after I retired.” Sergio smiled, but got a bit hurt by Luka not knowing what’s happening in Real Madrid. “What about you?” “A lot actually. Not so much in the career path, except the retirement, of course. But on personal level, everything happened.” Sergio’s throat got a bit tight as Luka said those words and it was hard for him to swallow the saliva that was creating in his mouth out of nervousness. “Oh, you have someone? Wife?” Sergio smiled ironically, but Luka was dead serious. “I have someone, yes. Not just someone. I have a husband and a son.” Sergio felt something in his stomach, he felt the vomit going up to his mouth so he started drinking water rapidly. “Are you joking?” Luka nodded in a negative manner. “His name is Lorenzo. He is amazing.” Sergio stood up and took his bags. “Luka it was amazing seeing you, but I don’t want to sit here and listen to you talking about how perfect your life turned out, how you have a perfect little family, while I barely even have friends anymore.” Sergio turned around and as he wanted to walk out of the bar, Luka took him by the hand. “Don’t leave. I know it’s not good to hear about my perfect life, but I missed you too Sergio, I thought about you a lot and I waited for your calls just so I can decline them. I was so mad, but at the same time I missed you and hurt every day.” Sergio sat down again and listened to Luka. “I had to move on. I wasn’t able to function without you and your touches at first, but as time went by, so did the memories, I still remembered all of the amazing stuff you did to me, but also all of the time you hurt me. And every night I was crying less and less and I missed you less and less, and when I met Lorenzo, you just went away from my mind.” Sergio’s cheeks were starting to get wet from the small tears that were falling down them while Luka was saying all of these things. He lifted his gaze at Luka and put his hand on his. “I’m sorry for everything. I know this want change anything, but you just deserve my final apology.” Luka nodded slowly and said. “I’m sorry I left you, I’m sorry I found arms to fall right into, I hope someday you’ll understand, and I’m sorry I got the good side out of this relationship, but I was sure we would bump into each other and catch up. I will always be thankful for our relationship. I learned how to love because of you.” Sergio wiped away his tears and looked straight into Luka’s eyes. “I love you, you know I do, and I will leave you now, because I know you found happiness and I don’t want to be the one that ruins it for you.” As Sergio stood up again, Luka did too and stepped in front of him and he lifted himself up on his toes and kissed Sergio, in front of everyone. Sergio was shocked, but he took Luka’s head and held it still for a whole minute. “I love you too Sergio, I’ll never stop, because it’s not that easy to just stop loving someone, but I love my husband too. I love him so much, and our son too. And even though love wasn’t enough for us to work it out, it will be for you and someone else, just like it was for me and Lorenzo. Believe me” Sergio wiped the tears that started coming out again, “I would love to meet your family someday, not yet, but someday.” Luka kissed his cheek where the tears started falling, and after that he took his paper bags and turned around and yelled from the doors of the bar: “We will see each other again, believe me.” Luka exited the bar and started walking away nut turning back. Sergio wanted to run after him and kiss him, take him somewhere and do more, talk to him for days and just lay with him for a long time. But he didn’t. He stood there and looked after him, after his small legs walking away. He took a deep breath before sitting down again. He just couldn’t stop thinking about Luka, about his face, his voice and his tasty lips. He felt his lips again, he felt the soft touch on his skin again and he just wanted more. When he sat down he saw a small paper on the table and took it up. There was the scribbly handwriting Sergio knew better than his own, and it was just a number. Sergio wrote the number in his phone and realized it is a phone number indeed. He sat back and started writing probably the longest text message he has ever written.

_Hey Luka,_

_I wanted to write some other name I had in mind for you in the beginning of this text, but we all know I shouldn’t. Thank you for leaving me your phone number, I won’t call you or text you ever, just this once, so I can tell you everything just once more, I think it’s easier for me and for you like this and not being face to face. Because the tension was killing me. I wanted to thank you and even though hearing about your husband and son made my heart actually break, it healed quickly because I realized you are happy. I hope sometimes I can meet them, because I would love to. I wanted to tell you how much I love you, how much I missed you and how much I was thinking about you, and Marcelo knew about it and he didn’t tell me about you, he will hear it. Haha. Sometimes I wish things were different, I wish I didn’t do what I did, I wish we stayed together and we had kids today together, but we aren’t and life isn’t easy like that. I hope you will think about me sometimes, just sometimes, I hope you will tell your son you were with the best defender in the world at some point of your life ;) and I know we shouldn’t see each other often, because I would jump out of my skin being unable to touch you and kiss you. I hope your life will continue being perfect and I hope you know you are my “One that got away”. It’s funny, but I just wanted you to stay with me and you didn’t. You knew it would never work, you our lives aren’t like fairy tales to plan out perfectly from the first try. I know I am not a prince and Lorenzo is. He is you prince on a white horse and he should be, and I know I will find someone, someday, and maybe it won’t be soon and maybe it will be tomorrow, but it will be. Say hi to all of your friends from me if you are still hanging out with Šime and the rest of them. I am a fool for even believing at any point we could work out, the problem is that two fucked up people just don’t go together, we are too toxic for each other. And that’s okay, but we taught each other valuable lessons, and even though you left me, I thank you. Because I would ruin you and you would probably ruin me too. Now it’s over and for the last time I am saying I’m sorry, for everything._

As Sergio pressed send his eyes watered a bit, but he was happy. He was happy they finally were able to end it on a good note, and he was able to talk to Luka, after all of those years he was able to speak to him and see him. He knew he will probably never get an answer or it will be just a seen, but he didn’t care, he was happy for Luka and even though it still hurt it hurt in a good way. In a way that he knew it is over for good and now someone new can come and take place in his heart. After about 15 minutes Sergio’s phone lit up and a notification popped up on the screen. Sergio’s eyes watered and he finally exited the cafe bar and started walking towards Marcelo’s apartment knowing Luka still has him somewhere in his heart.

_"I could never forget you. Thank you Sergio, I will always be your bunny."_


End file.
